Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

My friend had a few dates with a guy she met on holiday who, after she ended it, bombarded her with calls, abusive messages etc then after she blocked him, he turned up at her house. She refused to let him in and he slept in his car all night outside. She called the police and they gave him a warning to keep away from her.

He then turned up at a few places he knew she might be and hit verbally aggressive with her and was thrown out by bouncers.

She was then contacted by his ex who told her how he assaulted her and stole money.

Well I’ve seen him on OLD advertising himself as a happy fun loving bloke 5 years younger and several inches taller than the reality. And he appears to have a constant stream of new women hanging off his arm

@SamW98 why oh why do they lie about how tall they are?! Why?! I like a man taller than me, I won't lie. But I will overlook it if other boxes are ticked. But I hate it when I turn up and Mr 5'11" is the same height as 5'1" me in heels. Its the not being honest that is a bigger turn off. Makes me worry about what else they are lying about.

@Superawkward

Ive had a couple lie about their height - maybe they think we won’t notice.One even argued with me that he knows he’s 6 ft so I must be taller than I think I am 🤷‍♀️

Im the same with lying about age. It’s the dishonesty right from the start that I hate. And I also think if they can lie about something so fundamental as age/height, then I doubt their integrity on everything.

I met a bloke last year who was 53 and 5’11 - except he was actually 59 and about 5’9 - why do they do it?

You've answered your own question. I'd imagine he lies about his height because he knows woman want tall men.

Evidently he's not wrong is he ?

But he's not a tall man so it doesn't really work for long 😂he's wasting his time attracting women who want something different. There'll be women who want him as he is but instead he's wasting his time pretending to be something he isn't. It's just insecurity

Like I said I don't exclude on height if he's a nice guy. It's not a deal breaker for me. But insecurity and dishonesty are dealbreakers. So technically he is losing the women who would have been attracted to him.

Agree with the comments about height, it's the lying. Some women are bothered about height, sure. Some women aren't, but will probably be bothered about lying.

Years back, when I was 16 & had pen & paper penpals, I went to meet a man once, he'd said that he was 6 foot with thick dark hair.

Turned up & he was shorter than me with a few wispy grey strands of hair.

I asked him about the height & he said 'I thought that girls wanted tall men' I was really confused by this & said 'But you aren't tall, so if I'd I wanted a tall man, then you just lied to me' he just shrugged. I didn't bother mentioning the hair.

(I didn't realise at the time that this was like a very early dip into the later world of OLD & all the strangeness that goes with it)

It is the lying that’s the issue. The guy I met who said he was younger and taller I would have met up with if he’d told the truth about both but my red flags go up when someone lies and that’s a no from me even if we get on so actually by lying they lose more than they gain as a lot of the women will think ‘liar’ and write them off.

You've explained it better than I tried to!

I would hate to be lied to about age or height.

One man's cover profile said he was 49, but when I clicked into his detail he said he was actually 57, but wanted to be seen by ladies filtering for men under 50 🤣🤣🤣

So after my date at the weekend with Mr TooFarAway (no idea what I may have called him), I reconnected with Mr Dr from last year. I think at the time I was speaking with him I was also spending time with Mr Music who ghosted me after three months…

Anyway Mr Dr and I went for a drink last night, ended up having dinner. He was my type and funny, but five years younger and wants to start a family. So, we won’t be seeing each other again.

@LittleFloatingGhost aw that's a shame.

Sorry to hear that @LittleFloatingGhost, that's rubbish.

Just seen one blokes headline - Over 65 GILFS only 🤢

@Superawkward @Starseeking thanks. Glad we met though. Had a lovely evening.

Definitely less likes and matches this time around - turning 39 at the start of the year must have pushed me outside of some filters 😅😂😂

They can’t win, can they?! At least he is honest 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Has anyone else noticed this happening on other apps or is it just on Match. I've not been on the app much since the weekend and I've had next to no likes in that time. But every single time I might have a quick five minute swipe, there is a flurry of likes. I suspect a lot of men are just wanting someone to dirty message there and then while they're online?

I haven’t used match but is it possible that the user base is so large that you get pushed down quickly as soon as you become inactive for a day? Or that the algorithm prioritises active users?

Vaccuuming trend is picking up 😆

Ha! How old is that man out of interest?

Profile says 44....

I have been saying this since rejoining two weeks ago, thought it was me just being 2 years older but spoke to young and child free colleagues and they said the same. I think people are just fed up!

So Mr Bohemian was happy to get a hotel if I agreed to meet him for a drink but he was arriving so late from his flight I didn't think it was worth it - 10 at night. Does that sound a bit luke-warm? We both have to get up early the next morning for child-related commitments. It sounds like he prioritises his kids anyway, which is a good thing. He did ask if I was free to meet next week.

No news from Mr Wildlife. I know he's on holiday for a few days but he hasn't messaged. We had only been chatting for a few days before he went away, but now nothing for a week. He could have just checked in with a quick message, I mean I would, if it was someone I was interested in.

An amusing selection of responses to my opening question of “What is keeping you busy these days?”:

• Hi
• How are you
• Work and life generally
• Just living
• DYI
• Sends screenshots of a play

WTH?

@occhiazzurri dire! Might give the playwright a chance (if that’s what you meant by play)

Talk about a jaded old lot. The only people I ever met were the ones whom I had fast, easy rapport from the get go. I miss that! But probably accounted for like 1% of all matches 🙄