Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@SamW98 compared to some of your recent messages, that's pretty tame. I would persist a bit. Update us!

@SamW98 don't be put off straight away depending on where he is from babe could just be used all the time!!
I would reply with 'hey having a good day?'

I did reply and having a little chat - I’ll update later ☺️

Could be so much worse! Give him a shot 🙂

Oooh good luck...let's hope you have finally found a relatively normal one after all your horror stories 😉

Hi, new to this thread (and generally the world of OLD). Ive been on two dates recently where the men (mid thirties) have commented on my appearance. One said i looked older in my online profile, the other seemed to think that photos taken in the last 6 months were really old, and commented on my weight. Is this what men do now?!

@CatchMoreFliesWithHoney welcome :)

No, they are bloody rude! That’s not normal behaviour. However, it would be usual to question if we feel there’s a discrepancy between the profile and the person in front of us.

Ugh. Thanks! The comments re my age I'm really confused about - all the photos are taken in the last year, and don't have any filters on (now trying to work out if I photograph well or really badly!)

@CatchMoreFliesWithHoney especially Weight comments are always rude! Do you have full body picture in your profile?

Yes, a few, which I think are reflective of my current size! If anything, this has been a lesson in self-worth!

Hmm
I had one recently who opened with ‘hi sexy’. Felt like I was walking past a building site every time. He just wanted to sext and my ick was getting stronger.

good luck

I've just had one who has opened with "You seem to have it all, looks, intelligence, confidence etc but are you interesting to speak with?" You'll never find out, you patronising weirdo.

In other news, I have a date set up with a man for Friday. He seems easy to chat to, has a circle of friends and owns his own house, so that's all of my basic "wants" ticked off! Fingers crossed it goes well.

How important is height to all of you?

@Mckittens what app was that, with a guy from Belfast?

I was really confused today about why the guy mentioned he is “originally from the UK” in his profile(I liked him), then realised he lived in Spain.
Then another in Germany came up, and another in Austria. None of them were using travel mode! I checked and re-checked my settings 🤷‍♀️ which I haven’t changed lately, but apparently it was just Bumble being glitchy today.

They're just negging you. Ick. That's such rude and weird behaviour that I don't think someone who genuinely thought it would say it - they would just go on the date, then say later sorry no spark.

@friendswiththemonstera

I am only between 5’2 and 5’3, both ex-husbands were 6’ which I felt a bit like it was the maximum I could cope with. I dated a shorter guy in between and it was nice not to constantly look up so much (though of course I basically only look down or am equal height with small children 😄)

So in general height isn’t make or break but I really would very begrudgingly date someone 6”3 ish, for instance, only if they were perfect in all other ways. And they seem to constantly go for me 🤦‍♀️

I always think taller men should be left for taller women 😄

But overall I think it’s far less of a consideration for me compared to taller women…

@RadiantRainbow I worked out those international matches were with men who’d been in town on business and had matched before going back/hadn't updated their location settings etc. So probably after a quick fling.

I was talking to a Greek guy for ages and he’d never meet (early days, I was a rookie). When pressed, he said he needed to go back to Greece for a month, made up a big story etc. This was on WhatsApp. I was suspicious so went back on Bumble and could clearly see his location changing between Hackney/London Bridge where he worked. Fool was a software developer too!

Haha, yes leave the taller ones for us. I’m 5’8 but found a lot of shorter guys were matching. My cut off is about 5’7. Ex was 6’3 but lanky. I feel most comfortable with a broader 5’10 to 6’1 but not a deal breaker!

@friendswiththemonstera

Height is a factor for me as Im 5’7 and my personal preference is for tall well built men

@RadiantRainbow it was match. I'm on Bumble as well and have set a 60 mile distance but on Match folk from all over pop up.

I'm a bit deflated with it all to be honest. I've got two chats going with two potential dates at the weekend but already I'm going off the idea of one altogether and not sure about the other one. I've also read some other threads on here about OLD where posters are adamant that it doesn't work for older women. I'm starting to think maybe I'm just being ridiculous in even thinking this is a good idea!

OK, wasn't sure if I was being too picky not to want anyone shorter than 5'9 (I'm 5'7). Think I probably am. My exes have been over 6ft and I'm used to standing on my tiptoes to kiss someone!

@friendswiththemonstera nothing wrong with being picky about height. I am picky and I an only 5'1"! It's an awful thing to say but I want a man taller than me. Especially as I spend a lot of time in big heels.

@SamW98 keep us updated on this hot guy. Compared to recent messages, this bloke is amazing!!

@CatchMoreFliesWithHoney I am a size 16 and was really worried about my size. I put a few full length pictures on my profile and purposely picked ones I didn't think were the most flattering too! I've not had any comments on my weight or size but had plenty of compliments. Don't take it personally and ditch anyone who is critical about your appearance. There will be someone out there who likes you just as you are.

So update from my date with Mr Nerd 🤓. He was nice, like really nice. Had a really good laugh and chat. We're both at the same stage in life, both looking for similar things. Even had a little kiss at the end 🙈 we've agreed to meet next weekend!

@Superawkward, what a really lovely update, that's fabulous 😊

Fab update @Superawkward 🤞🤞it keeps going well for you.

@Superawkward lovely ☺️