Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@LittleFloatingGhost how did you get on? Hope you had a nice time too 😊

Omg honestly it's 😱😳

Do you think they actually get messages back with something like that on their profile, like how many women are out there are thinking oh perfect when they read his profile because top of their things they really want to do is to go down on some random stranger whilst said stranger enjoys a glass of red..

Mind blowing.. no pun intended.

@SamW98 @Mckittens grim. Just absolutely grim.

Out of the messages I've had, all of two have actually asked me about anything on my profile - one about work and one about music. Every single other one has commented on my photos and appearance. It is disheartening.

@Mckittens he was lovely, friend vibes and he lives too far away, which I was aware of. Made me realise how far is too far though.

Aww shame about the distance LittleFloatingGhost but glad you had a nice time

I find the ones that do mention my profile come across as quite lazy really 'You like reading, what do you read?' Just puts it on me to get any kind of conversation going.

I can see that point of view. But I feel like being asked an actual question about myself instead of leading with a statement about my perceived level of attractiveness is a better conversion starter.

Aah I know Superawkward. It's more that follows next really, I'll send 3 or 4 lines about different genres of books etc & ask them about reading & they answer with 'Same' or 'Nah I don't read' & then I'm just 'Now what?'

The constant messages about looks are depressing though aren't they.

Urgh the ones who don't read 🙄 or take pride in not reading. We will not be friends!

Superawkward They are proud of it

My one from yesterday just unmatched me. No big surprise as he'd gone quiet. At least I know that I'm not invisible on Bumble now though as I was starting to wonder

I've unmatched with single dad! He sent me another message this morning saying he's a family man and he just wants a partner/best friend and he never wanted to be in a broke. Family.
All very valid points, but I don't think it's good for me to take that on. Very intense and made me feel stressed 🙈
I also don't know, in what world, he thinks he's going to find a "long term partner" when he has his child every weekend and then goes to his ex house two nights a week to put the child to bed!
I didn't send him a Message I just unmatched which is probably a bit mean of me, but also, at least now he's not sat waiting for a message. He knows the score!

Someone else matched me on hinge and he's sent me a few fun messages, not the typical "how's your day" "how's your weekend" which I like. He's not local to me though so probably won't go anywhere further then this!
I don't know why hinge is sending my profiles from all over the country.
Tbh this is probably my least favourite app. Seems to be full of snow boarders, skiers, travelers and hikers! Where's the lazy people at 😂

Thinking I might reactivate bumble next week. Feeling in a better place now after getting over my ghosting. When you guys come off do you start a new profile or just restart your last one?

ive seen a couple on Bumble with under likes it says ‘dressing up’ and a pic of a woman’s dress. Does that mean they like dressing up in women’s clothing or they like you to?

also I’ve got one with the usual sketchy bio - no idea of what he likes to do in his spare time, who has declared he wants to find his special one, but needs to know if there is chemistry before doing the penpal stuff. So wants to go straight to video call. Anyone else had this - seems like could be weird.

@whatsnext2 I would definitely assume they enjoy wearing the dress. And I would also think going straight to video call would indicate something amiss but could just be me.

I've only been on match a few days so still trying to work it all out. Someone has appeared in the Top Picks section whose profile appeals, it has got a few lines in that are almost identical to mine & I like the place they live in so all good but there is no way to either like their profile or send a message other than via a love note which I'm obviously not going to do as think that is more £.

How is it possible that some random that i'd not even liked was able to send me a wanna fuck message 🤢 first thing on a Sunday morning but there is no way to indicate that I might be interested in one of the ones that the app has selected as a top pick?

I really do wonder what goes through their heads to think this is what women want to hear.

I really can’t imagine any woman reading that and thinking ‘that’s the man for me’

Just had a bloke reply saying his perfect first date is zip wire - no thanks mate a coffee will do me

Another one from Hinge- without being rude this bloke looks like he’s been dug up and has topless photos showing his saggy moobs along with these comments. 🤢

@Mckittens I don't look on top picks. I think they are people who have paid extra to be 'more visible' or something. I just go on discover or search and usually find them again that way if they're in my criteria.

@whatsnext2 I wouldn't waste time wondering what it meant beyond 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

What age are these men? I've never come across a profile like that and I'm in your area!

By the way, has anyone ever tried Coffee Meets Bagel?

@SamW98 zip wire?! WTF?

If men actually knew what women thought was attractive they would all start posting pictures of them unloading the dishwasher and putting three loads of washing on. (Or is that just me?!)

That made me laugh

@Superawkward thank you, I found him once I clicked through and swiped left on a few others first. I guess I'll find my way around once I use it a bit more, I definitely find Bumble easier but the pool of possibility is now just a puddle after a month.

Totally do not understand the zip wire first daters, wtaf. Absolutely ability to load the dishwasher and putting a wash on would be far preferable.

I did see one profile where their super power was the ability to pee straight and put the lid down, that made me chuckle.

That really made me laugh 🤣

I wouldn’t mind but I’ve actually put on my profile that my idea of hell is an activity date

💯 We would be clambering for those!

😅😂😂😂😂😂

I just roll my eyes at the appearance comments especially about body rather than face.

Sent a few messages this morning so let’s see what replies I get. Other than zip wire man, I had another one who replied to me asking questions about things he mentioned in his profile just with ‘hi👋 ‘ Its like they can’t even put in the bare minimum effort

@Mckittens @blacksocks33

I actually prefer matching with single Dads, but am of course wary of those who either go on about their DC BEING THEIR WHOLE WORLD or about how their EXDW was a witch who poisoned the DC against him, which is why he doesn't see the DC 🙄🙄🙄

I met one guy who spent our whole date going on about how nasty his EXDW was, and how she'd taken the DC and the house. In fairness he was recently separated (didn't put it on his profile or I'd never have swiped right), and nowhere near ready to date yet.

I've also been out with a couple of guys who have no DC, and they seemed to immediately want to consume my life, and with 2DC under 7, I don't have the time or headspace for someone who would want to meet up every day or moan if I didn't.

Haha, that would definitely reel me in 😍😍😍