Dating thread 245

[SamW98]

Continued from 244….

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Reactivated POF

• got a message from a 77 year old
• Deactivated POF

All within 5 minutes 🤣

Thanks, I figured it was a bit sleazy but wasn’t sure

I’m on Bumble and Hinge. I’m late fifties, but look younger I’m told.

ive got a pic of me in jeans and t shirt and a few head pics. I’ve just one blokes bio mention all the bikini photos. Wow. Do I need to up my game? I figured that would just encourage the pervs

Oh this had me LOL. I haven't tried POF but heard questionable things about it. I'm in Essex as well (I saw you mentioned you are too) and so far stuck to Bumble (which is active to be fair) and Hinge (which is just a bit odd...why are everyone taking picture of climbing Snowdon 🤦🏼‍♀️ )

That's brilliant! Hopefully the plans for possible date Wednesday work out and if not you've got another one in the queue!

@SamW98 that's hilarious! 77 omg 😱

I think I need to go back to the drawing board. Not sure either of the possibles I have on the go will manifest into anything. But I've just been back through Bumble and Match and it's just dire.

There are maybe two I could contemplate but one lives literally miles away, would be a really long drive and the other one is in a different city but would be easier to get to as in a direct train at least 😆

Not sure I've got the time or inclination for long distance.

@Mckittens i feel your pain honestly. I’ve gone right through hinge and bumble and sent a few more likes just out of interest and nothing, not one reply! Same faces on both as well. It’s soul destroying! I’ve had about one half decent chat in two weeks, not sure what the hell is happening!

i can’t see the long distance thing working, I have a dog so logistically it gets trickier too.

or am I just being unrealistic? I live in the southwest so not in depths of Scotland or anywhere.

I activated bumble last night for a browse and to reassure myself that I wasn’t the only singleton in town my age.

scrolled for what felt like hours and honestly couldn’t find anyone who I thought could be a match. I did stumble across my ex, using the same photos and profile he used when we matched 2.5 years ago (it was about 3/4 years old the ). So that was fun 😳 and really helped set the atmosphere for me!!

am now pondering the possibility that OLD is not going to be how I meet someone…

last time I was on there I was full of enthusiasm and hope, now I’m just not!

Perhaps I’m not ready to date but also the high number of profiles full of bachelors who want someone to go jetting off on skiing holidays/climbing mountains, do functional fitness and have cultural long weekends away with them, when I’m a single parent and just not living or able to live that lifestyle. I mean I’d like to do those things but it might be a bit challenging 😂

Now that I’m 40 are all single men only adventurers/fitness freaks? 😂😂 is it just me?!

@Nosierosi - now you know why they are all bachelors! This sort of extreme sports/fitness or travel regime isn’t really or always compatible with a relationship at our age. In a lot of cases, these men are chasing endorphins or enjoying the thrill of extreme sports.

I can make the same observation for the single 40s men I have met and I can only assume they are looking to meet someone 10-15 years younger to have this sort of carefree lifestyle.

I seem to attract plenty of those extreme sports men - someone I met last week was into raves, kite surfing, snowboarding and cycling/marathons, but I have luckily stumbled upon another introverted workaholic who has no time for exercise/travel and whom I am meeting for a second date so feeling a tiny bit hopeful.

Nosierosi I feel your pain! Worst still, I find that most if these 'I visit a new country & climb numerous mountains every weekend' also have young kids, who they 'See when they can'. But yeah, they are acting out the child-free lifestyle because they can.

I don't engage with them now, but when I did, when I first joined OLD, I'd always say 'I can't travel because my kids are young & are with me 90% of the time' they'd say 'Yeah of course, I understand'. Then within a few messages, without fail, it would be 'Can't you get somebody to have them for a weekend? I'm a parent too so I get it' (No, you don't) & 'What about their grandparents? I'm really looking for somebody who can travel'.

Ahhh, I wondered where this thread had gone!

@NervesOfCotton I get you with the can you get a babysitter comments… I have one family member who babysits and I’m about to move 30 minutes away from them so even less likely to be able to pop out midweek. And I’m not paying £75 for an evenings babysitting for any old date!!

@occhiazzurri i know I shouldn’t but even the thought of someone my age still going to raves etc tickles me and then puts me off in a romantic sense…

think I might have to revisit this at a later date when I’m a bit more invested.

@Nosierosi He was actually 46 so I reckon his raving lifestyle has put off quite a few of us 😆

@NervesOfCotton I think you were likely meeting men who probably had a xsahw, have a full time nanny and digital monad/company lifestyle to be able to live the lifestyle. I don’t have kids but have a fairly demanding office based job so I can’t just take the rest of the week off work to go skiing in Switzerland as someone asked me last week. I think they are looking for someone to fit their lifestyle with no life outside of their world and travel plans.

OMG! No just no!

I actually also asked about it a match from Bumble

He said: interesting question

Then went silent for a WHILE 🤔

Then said I guess it’s something that I find important in relationships 🤷‍♀️

I said to him it makes about as much sense as food positivity or oxygen positivity.
Nobody is on a dating site and is negative about sex in principle 🤷‍♀️

@Nosierosi I agree with everyone else. Most blokes in their 40s who do the whole climbing/biking/jet skiing/gym six days a week are single for a reason. I think a lot of then reek of midlife crisis TBH. They've fucked off and left ex wife with the kids while they live their adventurous lifestyle and shag lots of hot younger women. Is what they're hoping for anyway. According to a bloke I work with, all the 'alpha male/red pill' influencers tell men to use these photos to attract women. But yet I don't know one single woman IRL who is attracted to those kind of things.

Had a date with mr younger this week. I was wary of filtered photo eventually he kind of admitted it. I met him anyway but didn’t look anything like pic. Nice guy but not for me. Also shorter than stated. I came off the apps a few weeks back considering real world only but on the fence. I don’t go out much and have met one decent guy but the majority are not as they seem…

Back from my date. We met in a town half way between ours at 1.30 (he caught the train as station a short walk from his house and on same train line as the town we were meeting) decided about 1.45 there was nothing in the town so drive to my town.
Sat in Wetherspoons for 3 hours chatting and having lunch then went for a walk round town. Called into Starbucks for a coffee then had another wander round town and went to the fair which is here at the moment. Saw lots of people I knew and he checked I was ok with that which I was (had told my teenagers where I was going and with who so wouldn't be surprised if anyone spotted us and told them)
Dropped him to the train station at 6.30 and....we had our first kiss....it was so good and there is definite chemistry he nearly missed the train back home 😉😉
He has already messaged me a few times and said what a lovely time he had and we are meeting up again soon.

@2anddone Woohoo! Amazing update ✨

Thanks @RadiantRainbow it was our 3rd date since we matched 6 weeks ago.

@2anddone aww, that sounds like you've had an amazing afternoon! I'm so pleased!

Thanks @Superawkward just got to try not to let the paranoia and overthinking kick in and ruin it!!
First kiss tonight in 4 years was worth the wait and I'm just pleased I had remembered how 🤣😉

OK I date women as well as men and a 20 year old has liked me on Hinge. She is closer to my oldest daughter's age than mine. I feel like a creepy old man...