Ladies in your 30s how often do you and your other half have sex?

[raspberryginplease]

I know there is no right and wrong amount of sex to have. I am in a sexless relationship in my 30s and wondering how normal it is?

We havent been intimate since November 😪

In the beginning it was frequent and great, he isnt keen to talk about the sexual side of his other relationships.
He told me he had a low drive, which i was ok with because i assumed he would still have an interest in sex and make an effort. I didnt realise it meant this

Hardly ever but I am mid way through my pregnancy and really not in the mood!
Before pregnancy maybe 1-2 times a week at a guess

36 and generally about 2 or 3 times a week. We have a 5 year old and I'm 31 weeks pregnant so that will go down a bit in the next few months lol

It's not going to change then. Even if he were to 'make an effort' it doesn't sound like he'd be that into the sex and it wouldn't be fulfilling and you'd most likely follow the same pattern as pretty much all of the other dead bedrooms where you're arguing that he didn't seem into it, or you're arguing that he doesn't show passion.

Realistically this relationship won't have a happy ending. I would be ending it if I were you.

Please don't even consider moving in with someone who doesn't see sex as important when you do!
Why would you do that.
I think now would be a good time to recognise that you are incompatible in this significant area and end the relationship.
Almost as worrying is that he doesn't seem to care that you would like sex and expects you to just manage without. That doesn't seem a very loving attitude towards you? Partners should want to make each other happy and to give each other pleasure. If he doesn't want to do that now, things aren't going to get any better.

4-5 times a week. Ages are 36(me) 48 ( him)

31, married for 8.5 years, no kids. Once every 3-5 days..

Me 39 him 42.
Been together 18 years, 1 dd almost 13.
Between 1 and 3 times a week, sometimes we seem a bit mismatched on timings (I'm tired, he's not, vice versa that kind of thing)

Looking back it seems we have more sex when life is easier and less when we've got more on, be it events or stress or whatever.

How hasn't he cheated?!

Miracle your marriage is still alive!

Less than 10 times a year is the usual definition for a sexless relationship.

Only a few times a month.

Less to do with our ages though. More to do with having a 2 year old, who doesn't sleep through and gets upset sleeping alone!

10 times a year is sexless?! So I could have had sex 130 times in the period that I've had zero and still be classed as sexless? My mind has gone!!!! 😳

@WinkyTinky Look on the bright side. Imagine putting in all that effort to then be told it doesn't count!

Once a month if I'm lucky.

There's more than one issue here.

A low sex drive doesn't mean that when you do do it, you like on your back and take the blow jobs and the woman on top and hardly get involved.

He's got a low sex drive, in addition he's a selfish lover. You're also mismatched in terms of what you expect from a sexual relationship, you don't like the way he relates to you physically and your communication isn't good and any man that will receive oral but won't give is a total non starter.

Two years in, this really is as good as it's going to get. If your sex life is starting to get you down, don't move it into your house. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you can can change him, you cant.

Because some men don't feel entitled to cheat just because their partner lost their libido?

I'm 33 and have 2 young children.
Our sex life massively varies depending on what's going on in our lives and tiredness levels.
Sometimes it's every day and sometimes it's once a month.
We've been together for 9 years though and we're both happy with our sex life.

1-2 times a week. There have been times when we’ve gone a month or so.

We are 37 with 2 kids aged 8 and 11 and have sex usually once a week on average

"A bit older"!!

32 here. DH 38. 2 kids 6 and 4.
Variable but on average, 3-4 times a week.

Have you considered the possibility he might be gay. Not saying no interest in sex makes you gay, but something to check out.

2-4x a week. Been married 15 years with 2 children. Id probably be ok with 1-2x a week. DH would love to do it everyday. We compromise so that it works for both of us 😄

@lovinglaughingliving yeah well, 17 years but not noticeable for us but a bit of a deal breaker for some I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

But he would be fully entitled to end the relationship & he probably should TBH