Ladies in your 30s how often do you and your other half have sex?

[raspberryginplease]

I know there is no right and wrong amount of sex to have. I am in a sexless relationship in my 30s and wondering how normal it is?

We havent been intimate since November 😪

No sex since I was 34. I'm now 47. I might just die 😑

But before that I am determined to leave, start over again, and have sex all day every day until I'm really too old.

Three months is quite a long time when you've only been together two years OP. Have the conversation and find out if you're both still compatible. Above all else, do not waste your life!

OP, in your shoes I'd end it. You should of still been in the honeymoon phase back in November- which lasts up to 2 years generally. Now he's showing you where he's at, it won't get any better and it's totally understandable that you are feeling disconnected because of it. Most people would tbf.
After talking, the only hope is if your other half has a realisation that it needs to change and is willing to look into how to. But if met with total resignation and acceptance and they are happy the way they are, there is nothing you can do but vote with your feet as you are incompatible and it will only give you the ick as time goes on - then you start looking elsewhere, if your libido remains intact.

Both 39, 1 DS age 3. Together 13 years. A few times a month. Don't really keep track. Not loads but it's enough.

@Opentooffers i am seriously considering it, we had planned that he would move in with me in July. But i think i will bring up this issue and tell him i am not comfortable with him moving in unless we can sort it

@WinkyTinky is there a reason you have gone so long?

1-2 times a week.

The replies have made me laugh, the extreme from several times a day to none at all.

I'm in my early 40s and been with my husband for 8 years. When we first got together we had sex daily. Over the years it has dwindled. Probably averages out to once a week. But there have been periods where we haven't had sex for a few months. There was generally a reason for this though - pregnancy or ill health etc.

We're currently TTC so are having loads of sex and have been for the last few months - but that's a different scenario.

I have friends who went years without sex in their marriages - they've all split up now.

Fascinating how the answer to this topic always seems to vary wildly no matter the age. There are actually a lot of factors that come into play that can minimize or maximize it - health, drive, orientation, gender, relationship status, children, living arrangements, general life business/stress and then of course the same issues for the prospective partner.

I'd be bored stupid having sex several times a day, and no I'm not doing it wrong.

We tend to go every other day. Sometimes is Every day sometimes it might drop to twice a week. We have three school aged children.

I think you should be having him move in if you guess are already having issues. You should still be in the fun of not living together sex surely making the most of when you see each other not having three month dry spells.

Times per week is difficult to say because it does depend on schedules, kids, hormones, illness etc. His response would annoy me though, he's happy with none so end of? You don't need to put up with this!

Not regular, not frequent since my divorce 5 years ago, still single.

Generally once a week. Just 40, he is quite significantly overweight and on meds for blood pressure and water retention which affect it.

A few times a month. Sometimes less. I just don't feel much like it since we had a baby. My partner would definitely like more...

Sounds like I need to up my game. :s

Not very often at all, every 6-8 weeks? mid thirties. neither of us want it much. and we are recently married too.. not sure what's wrong or how to get it back. no children.

We have a 3 1/2 year old, a 2 year old and a 6 week old.

Our relationship is pretty much sexless now, but we'll get back to it once the youngest one sleeps through the night.

We also kiss and hug every day.

Completely dependant on the time of month. If I'm ovulating, every day for about 5-6 days as that's when the mood takes me the most. Otherwise maybe once a week or every other week and not at all when I'm on my period. I have 2 x young children.

I think these kind of things are very individual - there is no right or wrong amount but if you're feeling unhappy with the amount you're having then that tells you everything you need to know. Speak to him about it OP, and if it doesn't change, well, maybe you're not as compatible as you maybe thought you were. Good luck x

@raspberryginplease Because he's a lazy, incompetent, emotionally unintelligent man baby who can't even brush his teeth more than once a week. But of course, he thinks I'm withholding sex from him and I'm an awful person.

Probably twice a month at this point. We have 2 kids, youngest is only 2. Both work FT long hours and life is BUSY!

We are a bit older at mid 40s and probably every other day on average. I would have it at least once a day of I could, but as he has got older by husband's libido has waned slightly.

If it was less than, say, a couple of times a week, I think I would flag that up as an issue and see how we could both work together to make it more frequent. But that's just me......

Average 2-3 times a week.
I’m 40, partner is 50 and his two teenage boys live with us. No kids together.
He would probably like it more frequently but mostly it’s a time issue - up early for work, gym/running/kids activities in the evening and I like my sleep! We do make an effort to make time for sex - sometimes it has to be scheduled 😂
previously I was in a 16 year sexless relationship … didn’t realise how important it is to me until I left that situation.

4 times a week max. Need the other nights of me to rest as have young kids 🤣

Late 30s and once or twice a month. But young kids makes it hard to get into the sexy zone or switch off and we often end up drifting. I'm also a full dress size bigger at the moment than I usually am and although my husband is always telling me positive things I know that makes me more self conscious. Do you think he has any body image doubts on his mind?

I think the question is a lot more subtle than sex or no sex. There is a whole spectrum of intimate touching in between. Do you hug, hold hands, snuggle, kiss, stroke, lie on each others shoulders... I find sex usually comes out of a progression of these other acts and wandering hands. I could quite happily go without sex for long periods of time but these long periods of touch make me feel turned on. I agree that its necessary to really connect and I can definitely see that we are kinder to each other in the times we have had more sex than less.

@Barleysugar86 we do hug, kiss, hold hands. But he seems content with that and not much more.
Body image wise, he is handsome and i tell him this, he hasn't put in or lost weight either. And i am the same weight as when we first met

@Runnyyolkplease im glad you are happier now 😊