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Original poster

Parents family distant during pregnancy but want to meet the baby ASAP

133 replies

Clem364 · 30/01/2024 21:03

AIBU - I have been with my partner for 4 years we are expecting our first child I am 7 months pregnant prior to this we were living in a summer house in his parents garden. Since being pregnant we have moved to my mothers house as she does not work and I am cared for 24/7 for some this may be much but I have an extremely good relationship with her! Since the move I haven’t heard much from my partners family apart from his grandma who sends me a text every week asking how I am ( not just the baby but me) I am close in age to both sisters they work in child care and as a nurse. I haven’t heard from either of them since we moved but when I have seen them briefly at family events they have exclaimed how excited they are to be anuties and how much stuff they are buying. My MIL only messages my partner to ask how I am. And on the odd occasion when WE decide to go and see them as they never ask to see us. It is constant awkward digs that we don’t see them anymore. MIL has said she will be waiting outside the hospital when little one is born. It’s starting to over whelm me I don’t want to be stood in a car park after giving birth to befit her. We have also had a lot of complications during pregnancy and I have been rushed to hospital a few times. His mum messaged him to ask if the baby was ok but didn’t ask him If I was or even pop me a text. We were expected to drive to them all over Christmas (2 weeks after I was rushed to hospital) eveyone was aware but didn’t ask if I was ok. This is a long post but in the long and short of it no one has bothered with me but expects all rights to my child when it arrives (they are a Facebook post 24/7 family) for context I hate social media and do not wish for my baby’s face to be uploaded. It seems like they will do anything for me in front of others but once the novelty wears off they can’t be bothered. And don’t actually care. I am worried about when the baby does arrive and I am pressured in to last minute walk ins at my house and entitlement over my baby. What can I do ? I might just lose it please help

OP posts:
user1471082124 · 01/02/2024 05:37

Gosh. Hard work!!

rhubarbby · 01/02/2024 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PineConeOrDogPoo · 03/02/2024 06:54

OP
The average age of the posters on here is far older than you. It's normal that you still rely on your mum so much. I think this is why you are getting such surprised and snidey responses. Maybe there are better forums for support for you out there. 😘

Nanny0gg · 03/02/2024 13:08

Clem364 · 31/01/2024 11:36

I don’t think it’s weird. I think the fact I lived with them for 2 years. Moved away for pregnant and have not received 1 personal messaged from them ? But when I do see them they would act as if it’s my fault we don’t speak. As I said no one asks to see us we have to arrange around them

So they helped you out with cheaper accommodation than if you lived on your own?

Why haven't YOU kept in touch with THEM? Two-way street

Nanny0gg · 03/02/2024 13:10

Clem364 · 31/01/2024 20:06

@SecondUsername4me
i hope your grown ass partners make their own lunch ? own dinner? and do their own Landry separate to yours while living in the same house hold before you carry on. Do you also have your own bins to take out ? Order on a separate bill at a restaurant ? Buy your own separate tooth paste? Buy your own separate cutlery sets?

I think you need to grow up unless you do all of the above …. I don’t have to do anything separate.
it is also very normal in Pakistani/Indian cultures to go home when you are with child to be looked after. I mean be careful with who you might just offend x

Oh dear.

My DH makes his own lunch. And dinner sometimes. And mine

I do laundry, he does ironing. Give and take.

And maybe you need to be careful about who you offend

You're starting to sound a little princessy

Nanny0gg · 03/02/2024 13:11

PineConeOrDogPoo · 03/02/2024 06:54

OP
The average age of the posters on here is far older than you. It's normal that you still rely on your mum so much. I think this is why you are getting such surprised and snidey responses. Maybe there are better forums for support for you out there. 😘

Why is it normal?

I didn't have a mother to rely on.

My kids did, but they were far FAR more independent than the OP

PineConeOrDogPoo · 04/02/2024 08:46

I suppose it's "kind of" normal at that age...especially as these days young people spend so long in FT education the growing up/looking after yourself 100% time is stretched out.

Agree kids growing up in "harder" circumstances would grow up quicker and being doing own washing etc from a far younger age.

In any case I think OP is on the wrong forum to some extent.

PineConeOrDogPoo · 04/02/2024 08:48

Plus people say stuff on here that they would not say to people's faces. I found the anonymity tends to make people harsher and less forgiving.

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