At what age do you think most couples stop having sex?

[feelingstifled]

Just that really. My DH and I had a very long dry spell, but with the help of a supplement (for him) we are now at it daily and we are in our 50’s. Would love this to last.

@KeyboardCat

And if he has phimosis, it may be because he is "large" down there. If so, standard condoms will be too tight and throttle his erection! If so, Durex Comfort XXL worked for my DP before we dispensed with them!

DP is early seventies and I’m post-menopause, it’s generally every couple of days and is amazing. Neither of us are interested in him taking viagra, we simply accept that at some time our love-making may change…but it already has as we are slower/stiffer/less fit - okay no swinging from the chandeliers but it’s wonderful just how it is anyways.

Thought I must share this. Back in the 70s nursing,was on the gynae ward,lady in her 80s asked the young registrar (probably in his 20s) when she could resume "relations". Bless him,he had no clue what that meant, and I had to inform him it was a euphemism for sex!

I'm perimenopausal and I'm wanting to do it more, my Husband doesn't seem to mind.

So if it later on, it involves him taking Viagra and the like later on and you are still enjoying sex, why stop?

My mum told me! She’s never enjoyed sex & hasn’t had it since she was in her late 60’s. She said her husband was useless at it.

I left home at 17, my mother told me her main regret was that she could no longer use me possibly hearing them as an excuse to refuse my father.

How do so many seem to know when their parents/ grandparents stopped having sex!

No idea about my grandparents. With my parents, when I lived at home as a child and teenager, it was obvious, because you could hear them. Now it's possible that as they've aged they've got quieter. Also, I don't stay overnight at theirs very often. Anyway, I'm not really sure I want to think about this much more but I will just say that it was fairly obvious when they were. And now those signs have gone and something about the dynamic between them has shifted.

They've also both very frail, in their 80s. Their mobility is so poor I'd be very surprised if they could manage.

OP, I haven't read the full thread as I suspect it will be mostly one-off anecdotes about someone's 95 year old uncle! If you are asking about "most" then you might want to check the statistics, although even those may not be accurate. What I CAN tell you is that my grandparents' generation did not have the pills that are available today, and there were plenty of elderly couples that seemed quite sweet and loving. Don't worry too much about what might happen years from now!

@AnotherDayOfSun Theren't aren't many anecdotes about 95 year old Uncles. It is quite an interesting read.

I'm 35 and can never be arsed! Once a month if he's lucky!

The fact that the company spends thousands if not millions promoting themselves on telly in america but is only available on perscription in england which still trails behind on men seeking help & as a previous poster pointed out a man in his 50's having erectile dysfunction can be a symptom of far worst medical conditions is reason enough to 'promote' it too a mumsnet audiance profit wise though.

Sex is very important, Unless two people are mutal on not having sex again, there will be trouble. So I'd say a good sex session even if you are 100 yrs old. I hope I'd be getting a good pounding as long as I live!

Agree with PP, he probably has a condition called phimosis and might need steroids or a circumcision

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/phimosis/

@Healthyhappymama you just made me spit my tea out! 😂

Why would you want to ask that?

He's not got it yet, so he hasn't "taken it". But he went to the GP about his inability to get an erection because until you get checked you don't know the underlying cause.

Yes, he knows I've gone off sex. Maybe he wants a wank? Intellectually I'd rather not be "off sex" and I am dealing with that issue myself, which he is aware of.

If you're trying to imply that he's going to force me to have sex with him then you simply have a twisted mind.

Maybe you could have waited for my response before going off on one 🤔
I wasn't implying anything. I was asking questions, but I don't care now 😃

This is sad, not because you only want sex once a month, but your attitude of "if he's lucky" as though sex is some kind of rare treat that you occasionally condescend to "give" to your sex-starved partner. If your attitude doesn't change, your relationship will either end, or be very unhappy (if it's isn't already).

Got to agree unfortunately
And with that attitude l can't help but feel that that once a month for DH/DP will be worse than none.

What can she change about her attitude exactly that will make up for her lack of libido? She's still unlikely to want more sex.

People have the strangest views on this.

If my partner wasn't bothered with sex but had sex every so often then that means we're incompatible, not that he has an attitude problem

@kkloo

Being "not bothered" is very different from not wanting, disliking or hating something, and is definitely an attitude issue.

In an otherwise healthy relationship, if you have a low libido and aren't wanting sex, that is something that would bother you, as it likely be having a detrimental impact on your relationship.

The fact that the poster followed it up with "if he's lucky" indicates that her DP isn't like her in not being bothered about sex... and just implies that she has an indifference to the DP and the whole sexual side of the relationship - that's not healthy.

@kkloo they may be incompatible but it doesn't read as a long lasting relationship.

31

Right and you think you can fully assess someones 'attitude' from a one sentence post?? Bit arrogant

I'd say I'm not arsed about lots of things, socializing being one, but if I were to actually talk about it properly there are lots of reasons and feelings and emotions and thoughts and negative reactions caught up in it.

Of course it doesn't read as a long lasting relationship if they're incompatible.

Well plenty of them will stay together for convenience etc. even though they're unhappy but if there's a major incompatibility like one doesn't want sex and the other doesn't then it's not likely to be healthy at all.

And it's not healthy on both sides.