At what age do you think most couples stop having sex?

[feelingstifled]

Just that really. My DH and I had a very long dry spell, but with the help of a supplement (for him) we are now at it daily and we are in our 50’s. Would love this to last.

Not read the whole thread. I have read the OP.
I don't have immediate/current life experience to bring to this table.
However I do find it interesting and in some ways toxic/disingenuous that society generally as reflected in OP's first post push the narrative of
"how old were you and your partner when you stopped having sex?"
Such a massively loaded question full of assumptions which, logically 99% are going to be irrelevant to any given reader

(eg (all said in a patronising I don't-care-about-you-voice):

-"is it because you are both 50?"
-"is it because he has erectile dysfunction?"
-"is it because you are past it and overweight?"
-"is it because you have always been frigid and he has given up because of you?"
-"is it because one of you is having an affair?"
-"do you think the spark has gone but neither of you want to admit it?"

-"do you think one of you is secretly having sex with someone else?"
-"well why don't you split up then? you are basically just room mates now aren't you? (lets ignore your 45 year marriage)"

I could go on.

Every single one of these examples (and there are many more I could think of) are outrageous in their presumptions, outrageous in the glib way they seem to assume causes about the most personal of situations a couple could go through and are all terribly patronising.

I think the first reply kind of hit the nail on the head didn't it? OP is trying to flog supplements for lo libido.

I think 25 mins is a quicky! Bearing in mind we needed to undress and redress etc in that time.

To those that asked, we do have kids, but they are adults and left home years ago.

I also heard that sex is rife in care homes. I have a friend who works in one, and she said that occasionally she has seen people with dementia openly masturbate in the communal areas. It sounds awful.

What is awful is your friend sharing the intimate details of people who are ill and vulnerable. Why did you feel the need to share that?

I met my DP in my mid 40s. Best sex I've ever had by a country mile so I'm much more enthusiastic now than I ever was before.

For my parents, I think they probably stopped at some point in their 70s. My dad's an alcoholic so I doubt he's capable, pill or no pill. Plus although they've now been married for getting on to 60 years, they don't seem to like each other these days and they're both physically quite infirm. It's not something I talk to them about though, as frankly I'd rather not know.

And to be fair to the OP, were she promoting this pill, she'd probably have spelled the name correctly.

Dementia patients masturbating openly isn't sex.

DH started with performance problems in his mid 50’s, not helped by antidepressants and a daily bottle of wine. He was told by a doctor to try viagra, didn’t, so I decided I’d had enough of crap sex so went DIY. Then some time after peri kicked in and I completely lost my sex drive. I was about 51 when that happened.

In my 70s, went through the menopause at 42. No reduced libido. At 65 at work young attractive married people half my age,had given it up and were horrified. Wonder what they would think now! I firmly believe it stopped me getting vaginal dryness. No pills or lube required.

I mean, I don’t like to think about it too much, but my parents are mid seventies, and I’m pretty sure they still have sex..
(I on the other hand am early forties, single, and very much not interested!)

I think what @feelingstifled was getting at was that couples tend to stop having sex when they don't fancy each other anymore, for whatever reason.
And it was sad for her mum because she was attractive and it would've been easy for her to find a new lover.

Congratulations.

Have a medal.👏

I also heard that sex is rife in care homes. I have a friend who works in one, and she said that occasionally she has seen people with dementia openly masturbate in the communal areas. It sounds awful.

That isn't sex.

It's masturbation in an inappropriate way caused by dementia.

Pity she's working there and is confused herself.

The thought of daily sex sounds so boring, it’s like when people go on the same holiday year in, year out.

I don’t believe there are lots of people having sex into older age. I have 3 hairdresser friends, most of their clientele are women in their 40’s+, my friends all say there is a common topic amongst them all and that’s the lack or drop in sex during these years and most of these women aren’t too bothered about it either.

But if every day sex floats your boat and makes you both happy, then that’s up to you.

I take my hat off to them but don't these older ladies get UTIs due to reducing oestrogen?
No.

I take D Mannose daily, as a preventative. Clinically shown to prevent and treat utis more effectively than antibiotics

Oh and we shag daily, he's early 50s and I've just turned 50. Both left marriages due to infrequent or bad sex

It’s Tidalafil, currently advertised on the TV in the UK as Cialis Together, you can buy online at the chemist etc, no prescription required ( in the UK ), same kinda thing as Viagra

But most people don't have a Big Job. My job is no different now to what it was 20 years ago. It's just a job that I do for 8 hours a day and pay no attention to the rest of the time. So loads of time for family, hobbies, sport etc.

“Men in their 50s should generally not need pills to have a libido, if their health is OK.”

40% of men over the age of 40 experience some sort of erectile dysfunction. They need to see their GPs to figure out why. Sex is perfectly normal as we age.

I'm 50, I've gained a lot of weight and it's stopped. Because of how I feel about my body. I'm sad, I know the answer is to lose the weight. I don't know where to go for help with that, I just can't seem to do it on my own.

I can remember my Grandad saying that after 50 people don't have sex. I'm 50 and I'm quite relieved my Husband who's a bit older doesn't think this.

I know I’m ‘over’ sex because I have neither the stressful job nor kids and still don’t want it. My life is remarkably stress-free, in fact.

One thing I get a tremendous amount of joy from that’s related to the body is exercise - barre, pilates, yoga, HIIT, running, etc. and nourishing my body with healthy food and supplements. That has replaced sex for me (and is infinitely better, IMO) 😁

My Aunt was having sex until well into her 80's, my sister and her new husband are always at it in their early 60's and me and DH stopped in our 30's. So I guess it depends.

Idk about couples, OP, but I finished at 42yo. Not even peri menopausal yet, however, something snapped in my mind and body accordingly. Leave me TF alone. Cannot imagine having sex ever again! 👍

We aren’t having sex at the moment. Both in our fifties with primary aged kids.

Reasons - we sleep separately due to insomnia. Honestly the worst thing to do as spontaneous sex doesn’t happen and we can’t be arsed to plan it.

Zero adult time. Directly we are together and it’s just us we’re all over each other, but this is so rare. The children absolutely dominate everything. I’m completely run ragged in the mornings and evenings and eventually get to bed at 11.30pm every night.

illness. This winter has been horrendous for illness. Both of us have been dragging ourselves around for months snotting and coughing - not arousing at all.

I think also I feel I look old and saggy. I don’t feel sexy. So much of it is in the woman’s head and unless he really makes me feel desired I don’t feel desirable. I’m absolutely sure if I were a stone lighter and got my mojo back I’d leap on him.

This made me laugh (I can relate).

It’s just so invasive, isn’t it?!

I went on a date with a guy who kept touching me - just lightly touching my shoulder and lower back - and it made me SO ANGRY. So I think sex is out of the question for me for the foreseeable haha.

never.