At what age do you think most couples stop having sex?

[feelingstifled]

Just that really. My DH and I had a very long dry spell, but with the help of a supplement (for him) we are now at it daily and we are in our 50’s. Would love this to last.

why do you assume? unless one is paralysed it's perfectly probable they do in some form. folks in old people's homes manage it

Yes, this is what I meant, thank you. She should have left him for a myriad of reasons, he was lazy, alcoholic, abusive as well. She didn't have a nice retirement with him either. She could have easily met someone else and had a good sex life to boot.

I’m 41. On the mini pill which does a fantastic job of killing any desire for sex!
My partner would like it a few times a week but I am not interested sadly.

Jesus we're early 50's and mostly can't be arsed. But we both have pretty low sex drive, we were happy with a few times a month even back in our 30's.

These days it's more like once every 4-5 weeks, but mainly because a) I am in menopause, so everything feels weird and PIV is too painful, and b) because DHs sertraline makes it quite difficult for him to finish (even if we aim for non-penetrative activities).

The GP gave me some oestrogen cream to apply, but that's long run out and the effect wore off after a few months. I really should go back. We always said we didn't have sex often, but when we did it was always great so I do miss it.

Seems ironic. Why don't you just come off the pill?

I still remember the absolute scandal in my family when it was revealed that my then 92 year old great grandmother had been discovered sneaking off to have sex with her 80-something "gentleman friend" in the care facility she was living in.
That is fabulous!!
I'm loving the fact it was a scandal!🤣

Yes it is ironic really! Very effective contraception!
I think if I came off the pill we’d have the faff of condoms and also be less inclined to do it often. I really should try and make a bit more of an effort but I’m fat and frumpy now too which doesn’t help.

This is simply not true. Tadalafil does not bring sex drive back. It only keeps the blood where the blood needs to be. But if there is no sex drive and no desire to have sex it will not work.

Too many women suffer with low libido, dryness, regular UTIs and other horrid peri menopausal symptoms without getting help. There’s a lot of medical help available but you have to be prepared to be brave and ask for it.

@JiraffDeSaki that oestrogen cream should have been added to your repeat prescription, it's for life, not just until the end of the tube.

Twice a week for life.

I could happily never have sex again for the rest of my life. It's always felt like a chore to me, something to be performed and endured. Luckily my DH doesn't have a massively high sex drive either. If I was with someone who wanted it daily or even multiple times a week I'd have to leave. Can't live like that.

I'm flummoxed by the idea of daily sex or a high sex drive. We're all different though.

Isn't it obvious why... men are typically married to younger women, while converse applies to women...

My libido has pretty much fucked off. However I still want sex. I like the closeness. I initiate equally. I still enjoy the big O. If my husband had a medical issue which meant we could no longer be active I wouldn't be upset. Its hard to explain but I just don't get that random urge I used to pre menopause.

Many years ago I saw a couple in their 80s being interviewed on TV about their sex life. The husband said they still did it "once a month with the help of painkillers". They were lovely and I still laugh when I think about them.

I am finding some of this thread very sad. That may sound patronising to those who are quite happy with a sex-free life, I realise. But I can't help finding it rather sad when a young woman in her 40s is just closing down a whole area of life and the enjoyment of life. I only met DH when I was 40, and I was certainly looking for lots of sex at that point! When I found that my parents in their 60s were no longer having sex I found that very sad too (especially as I can remember how physically affectionate and playful they were with each other when they were young, and realise that they are not at all now).

Vaginal dryness and UTIs can be very very easily prevented, even if you don't want to go down the route of HRT. They should not be reasons to give up on sex.

This was my understanding from reading the blurb, however, his sex drive has gone from 0 to 100. Now maybe that's with increased confidence of everything working? However, I had a thread about this on here, when it wasn't working and a few posters said that their partner's had been on it, and actually had to stop because they became sex mad. So I'm not sure.

I'm 54 and have not (yet) seen a reduction in my sex drive. DH is 51.

I understand where you come from. Don't find it patronising. However, everyone is different. Sex is something I despised my whole life, really, but there wouldn't be relationships or a marriage without it, would they? 😊

Do they do a female equivalent of that pill lol? I’m late 40’s & wouldn’t care if I never saw his Willy again 🤣

we still do it at least once a wk, but I’m only ever slightly horny mid cycle.

I wonder if this is because of who you were with? Have to say, I wasn't as keen with my first H. I didn't fancy him anywhere near as much as I fancy DH.

“Not sure it’s even possible” is absolutely ageist.

Late 40s here too and my libido has also disappeared. It emerges for a couple of days mid-cycle and then goes back into hiding.

It's like anything though. Some people love exercise or reading or baking or knitting or hillwalking or golf. Some have zero interest in those things and cannot see the attraction at all. Sex is no different to me.

Sex is something that we are told is universally to be expected and enjoyed in every single intimate relationship. It's the default. That is drummed into you from childhood. It's only now as a 40 year old mother of 3 I wonder why the hell I performed all those times and based intimacy on sex when it wasn't really something I wanted to do or enjoyed. It just wasn't for me. Going forward I can recognise and manage that.

I remember reading a quote from someone saying that when they lost their libido it was like being unshackled from a lunatic, and that made me laugh.

Yes, there is that. First H turned out to have been gay all along (which he had denied, even to himself, for many years) and was pretty crap in bed with me, I am sorry to say. Second H is a master of the art to this day. 😆

To be honest, I think the feeling was/is universal 😊. Not much to write home about, so to speak (sex).