At what age do you think most couples stop having sex?

[feelingstifled]

Just that really. My DH and I had a very long dry spell, but with the help of a supplement (for him) we are now at it daily and we are in our 50’s. Would love this to last.

I'm 50 and boyfriend is 53, we are having the best sex of our lives. I thought I wasn't into it, turns out I just wasn't into my husband.

I love cuddling up with him, but not keen on sex. I always feel pressured to orgasm & sometimes my mind can’t switch off enough to get into the zone. When he has worries or stressed, he wants sex even more cause he says it’s takes his mind of things & relaxes him. Where as I’m the opposite! I just want to be cuddled when I’m feeling like that.

Yes! HRT and testosterone gel!!

I’ve never liked sex. I’ve had some great sex and I enjoy the orgasm, but I don’t like sex itself. I’d probably happily never have sex again but when you have a partner that isn’t always possible. There are many different sources of intimacy. Everyone is different, no need for the pity.

It's not true that UTIs can be 'prevented easily' to whomever said that. I'm 36 and UTIs have ruined my sex life, despite trying everything both NHS and private treatments. I've been prone to them my whole life.

I still have a drive and still fancy DP like mad even after 20 odd years, but pain and fear of pain just puts me off actually going there. Also got a prolapse too so feel undesirable.

DP is 45 and shows no signs of slowing down. We do other things maybe twice a week (teenagers around and we live with his mother!!) - non-PIV, and I try attempt PIV occasionally. It makes me so sad because I desperately want that connection, and I'm constantly worrying about our relationship, if he gets attention elsewhere would he be tempted etc.

In general though has anyone thought that the fact that some women go off sex in menopause, and some men get ED around the same age, and that for both sexes the incidence of these difficulties gets higher with age. This, to me, probably means that there's a natural decline in middle age, but everyone is different, obviously. Luckily there are some options to help this now (more available for men than women).

Sex really helps relationships I think. It seems to be really important for ours, a fact I actually didn't notice until my difficulties got worse.

Do you mean "tadalafil"?

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/tadalafil/

I must have spelled it wrong. The writing on the strips is so tiny!

It's like anything though. Some people love exercise or reading or baking or knitting or hillwalking or golf. Some have zero interest in those things and cannot see the attraction at all. Sex is no different to me.

Indeed. The only difference between other activities and sex is that sex appears to have a PR machine behind it such that we’re fed propaganda that we absolutely NEED to have regular sex, like it’s oxygen or something. Bizarre.

Indeed. The only difference between other activities and sex is that sex appears to have a PR machine behind it such that we’re fed propaganda that we absolutely NEED to have regular sex, like it’s oxygen or something. Bizarre

To be fair, if you have a high sex drive, then you absolutely do feel as though you need it. Obviously you won't die without it, but you'll crave it just as much as a smoker craves a cigarette, or as much as any other thing you crave in life.

I was utterly miserable without it, and thought about it every day. It was hard to lie in bed next to a man that I fancied, who I felt didn't fancy me back. If felt to me, like trying to diet, but constantly having a box of cream cakes in your face.

How do so many seem to know when their parents/ grandparents stopped having sex!

I'm 35 DH is 40 our sex life has been mostly non existent the last 2 years. We have a 1 year old and I'm pregnant again so we must be getting at it some times. Mostly just exhausted though no way could I even contemplate daily. Before babies it was maybe 3 times a week.

>>Reasons - we sleep separately due to insomnia. Honestly the worst thing to do as spontaneous sex doesn’t happen and we can’t be arsed to plan it.

From my experience, if a couple sleep separately (which as you say they sometimes do for practical reasons/differences in sleep preferences/temp of room etc) they need to make special special steps to maintain intimacy. Or it will be the death of things.

Brand name Cialis (generic Tadalafil) comes in different dosages (2.5mg; 5mg; 10mg; 20mg).

Purchased from Superdrug, it costs 4 x 10mg tablet £40.99; 4 x 20mg £39.99.

The lower doses can be bought in packets of 28.

According to Superdrug:

"Cialis is a prescription treatment for erectile dysfunction. It is sometimes known as the “weekend pill” as it can work for up to 36 hours, and is the long-lasting erectile dysfunction medication. Cialis 10mg and 20mg are taken when needed before sex, like other erectile dysfunction tablets, but a lower dose option called Cialis Daily can be taken every day."

Over 60s get free prescriptions and could presumably request prescriptions from their GP, unless there were contraindications.

There is a lot of useful information on the Superdrug site and if anyone is considering purchasing from a pharmacy rather than via an NHS prescription after discussion with a GP, I would recommend reading the information on the Superdrug site:

https://onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/cialis.html#prices

Drug interactions

You may not be able to take Cialis if you're taking some types of medications, since they might react, including:

• nitrates, e.g. isosorbide mononitrate, glyceryl trinitrate
• some antibiotics, e.g. erythromycin
• antifungals, e.g. ketoconazole and itraconazole
• antivirals, e.g. ritonavir and saquinavir
• alpha-blockers, e.g. tamsulosin, doxazosin, alfuzosin
• other erectile dysfunction medications, e.g. Viagra, Levitra etc

Alcohol and grapefruit juice can react with your medication too.

Pre-existing conditions

You may not be able to take Cialis if you have:

• Peyronie's disease (a condition that causes the penis to curve)
• heart problems or have had a stroke
• certain visual/ eye conditions
• kidney or liver disease
• sickle cell anaemia, multiple myeloma or leukaemia

It should certainly not a be considered a "supplement" but is a prescription medication that can now be purchased in some strengths and packet sizes over the counter from some pharmacies.

More frequent UTIs due to vaginal atrophy caused by lack of estrogen

someone from the sexpolice will be along to tell you it's making you go blind.

(wonderful thread by the way OP - range of views but lots and lots of positivity)

Absolutely. The problem was lack of sleep would have driven a terrible wedge between us so it had to be done. Now of course we have a wonderful relationship. Adore each other. But no sex for eight months.

yep I think it's the confidence - that would explain why it took so long to "kick in".
Nothing I have ever read (plus some personal experience as a male) says that it can produce desire* - just the functional ability.

*I think this is actually good as it reassures the other party that they are desired, that it's not just a chemical/engineering thing. One woman somewhere on the sex thread complained that she'd been conned as she found out that a bloke she'd been having good sex with had been using a pill. I didn't understand that at all.
Congratulations anyway :)

We sleep separately - have done for years - but we often start the night in one bed or get into bed together in the morning - our sex life is not affected. Our DC have moved out so there's always the sofa option 😁

My mother and her Partner were certainly having sex a few years ago because she way over shared. 😂

Both late 70's.

yep, so you make efforts. My long term relationship went into sex decline as my partner (female) didn't do this/didn't take kindly to. Would get up as soon as I came for a cuddle in the morning, didn't take the many hints when I cam to rest awhile in her bed of a morning (on a free day)
anyway, congrats

Bloody 34 for me, and I'm 47 😐

@feelingstifled I've been reading your posts with such interest - I'm in a really similar situation and I'm feeling quite disheartened. I'm in a relatively new relationship (about 5 months) and we've not had sex yet for similar reasons (he can get hard but loses it just before penetration) so learning about this pill might help!

We also don't see each other that often, once a month for a few days as he lives in Ireland, everything is against us but I love him so much and I desperately want that bond with him!

Do you (at least try) with condoms? That's been a factor for me in a relationship in the past. As long as you're otherwise practicing safe sex (other contraception in place and you don't have STIs), not having condoms in the mix should help... If he's already having issues with erections, having a tightly fitting piece of latex on it won't help.

See this is the other issue - unfortunately he has a tight foreskin so sex without a condom hurts him. However, I believe a lot of it is psychological (I know it's possible, he has 2 children) but at the moment he'll need the condom... maybe when his confidence is up again it can be lost (No STDs on either side and I've had my tubes tied)

He's not actually had sex with anyone for 10 years, so I know it won't be an easy fix. But this pill may give a little hope!

@KeyboardCat

Also, Tadalafil is very easy to get hold of online via approved pharmacies (Lloyds and Superdrug both do it for instance)... and is suitable unless he has certain medical conditions.... It's arguably better than the better known Viagra as its effects last for up to 36 hours... that doesn't mean he will be hard all the time, just that he'll become and stay erect more easily when aroused.

@KeyboardCat

Ok, bless him, as he'll have spent his whole life not being able to enjoy sex!... It sounds like he has phimosis (tight foreskin)... A medical procedure should be able to make his foreskin less tight, or like my current partner who also had this, he needs to be circumcised.