Sister in laws wedding versus holiday with best friends

[Gooseberrypicklebum]

Help. I have booked a holiday abroad with my 3 best friends for our joint 50th birthdays! It was booked last September 23 and I checked with my partner that weekend was free and sent him screenshot of dates booked in my calendar afterwards. My friends don't have a lot of money and we have never all managed to go away before now (we are friends over 35 years!) . Problem ....my sister in laws wedding is the same weekend. She had sent a save the date message in Feb 23 but I never put it in calander and forgot all about it 😭. We are not particularly close and I rarely see her or any of my partners family as we don't have much in common. AIBU to chose the 5 day holiday with my friends over the wedding?? I'm upset to miss wedding but I'll be devastated to miss holiday (all paid and non refundable) with best friends. My partner is really angry that I want to go on holiday .

Go on holiday.

Holiday. It was an honest mistake and it would be very unfair to the two friends.

Your best friend's husband is a decent bloke too!

I am sorry but if my sister in law couldn't come as she was on holiday instead i would be a pissed off too. its domething been planned for a while not a ladt minute thing. yes to friends but no no to direct family. unless they were very sick or something. it would also be very obvious at the wedding she is missing and people will comment on it
it's not endless drama this is family and I think she should go to the weding

I don't understand why your partner's angry?
He and your kids are going,. It's only you that'll be missing.
What's the issue?

It's your choice but, imo, friends always take priority over family. And your partner can still go to the wedding, so that means you both get what you want.

Defo the holiday over a one day wedding.

Definitely go on the holiday

How come he forgot his sister’s wedding? How often are they in contact?

I'd want to go on the holidays if I were the SIL iwojkdnt mind if you went on the holiday.
Can you call the SIL and talk to her?

Of course she can be her SIL. Bride must be OPs husbands sister. Therefore her SIL.

He usually relies on me to remember and organise everything (what a surprise!)

Now he knows what happens when he delegates all responsibility for contact with his family to someone else. 🤷‍♀️. He was the one informed. This is on him.

Totally agree with @Windymcwindyson Make 2024 the year he manages his own diary and family plans op.

If she was a step sister instead of a sister of her husband there would be shrieks of anger at the thought of not being immediate family.

You're not even in the family WhatsApp group. I'd stop managing his calendar right now and have zero worries about choosing a holiday with good friends.

Yes exactly. I'm not sure which you should choose, but your partner shouldn't be angry about it - you checked the holiday dates with him and he said the weekend was free...

Well you can blame DH for not putting the save the date on the calendar and she sent it to him

Crikey! Can you imagine if the wife posted that the husband booked a golf trip over her sisters wedding weekend, he knew about it but got the dates mixed up but he’s insisting on going.

Mumsnet would explode!

Sadly cancel the holiday and go to the family wedding.

But @Pippa12 if in your scenario the DH had checked the date with his wife before booking and the wife had forgotten the date of her sister’s wedding, should he cancel?

Because she is the sister of op's husband?

Go on holiday, your DH can enjoy the wedding with his family and you have already gone to the trouble of arranging childcare for his convenience.

This- go on holiday!

If it was so important to DH then HE should have added HIS sister's wedding into the calendar or reminded you when you sent him dates for your trip.

I wouldn't be indulging any grumpiness from DH. It's his fault as well.

Family weddings trumps all friends holidays in my opinion… even if ‘the wife’ messed up and forgot the date. Two children to entertain all through a wedding breakfast? Through a service?

Both received the save the date, both forgot.

No way I’d send my husband to his sisters wedding alone for a holiday, not a chance.

I'm with you. It was an accident you BOTH made. You checked the dates with him and he didn't shout hang on, I have my sister's wedding in the diary for that week!! He can take the kids, have a lovely time and in the grand scheme of things, the bride and groom won't care so long as you decline in time.

How about just a fully paid for holiday with her mates cos they like each other?

Enjoy the girls trip!!!

Some of my cousins who I'm very close to didn't come to our wedding because of a holiday. I wished them a lovely time and caught up with them when they got back.