Sister in laws wedding versus holiday with best friends

[Gooseberrypicklebum]

Help. I have booked a holiday abroad with my 3 best friends for our joint 50th birthdays! It was booked last September 23 and I checked with my partner that weekend was free and sent him screenshot of dates booked in my calendar afterwards. My friends don't have a lot of money and we have never all managed to go away before now (we are friends over 35 years!) . Problem ....my sister in laws wedding is the same weekend. She had sent a save the date message in Feb 23 but I never put it in calander and forgot all about it 😭. We are not particularly close and I rarely see her or any of my partners family as we don't have much in common. AIBU to chose the 5 day holiday with my friends over the wedding?? I'm upset to miss wedding but I'll be devastated to miss holiday (all paid and non refundable) with best friends. My partner is really angry that I want to go on holiday .

Holiday all the way!

Think it's 2029 and you're looking back... where do you want to be remembering...?!

Enjoy your holiday!

100% go on holiday!! You have never done this with your friends and it's a huge birthday!!
Enjoy yourselves!!

The holiday 100%! She's your SIL, not your sister, and you're not particularly close, so I wouldn't choose that over the holiday, not a chance! There's absolutely no reason why your partner cannot go on his own, it's really no big deal at all.

Go on the holiday. Doesn't sound like you're close and it will upset the bride or anything. It wasn't done on purpose and I'm sure you feel bad but in your shoes I wouldn't miss out on the holiday.

Surely as long as the groom turns up will sil really give a shit?

It's an immediate family wedding that you had notice of MONTHS before you booked the holiday. Of course you go to the wedding, it would be really rude not to and likely to damage relations with your DP's family for good.

Sil isn't op's immediate family...

It's unfortunate but I would do the holiday.

Your partner is miffed because he knows he should have picked up on the clash and he'll have some explaining to his sister to do.

But it's just one of those things. Send a nice message/card before you go and wish then the best for the big day.

Mind you with some of the stories I see on here it is a wonder a groom is invited

It is a wedding not conscription just go on the holiday

How did you both forget the save the date? What's your relationship like with sil?

Have you paid for the holiday?

They've been together 13 years and have 2 DC, her DP's family are her family (warts and all).

Sorry I don't even like my sister in law but if this was me I would go to the wedding.
if you don't I think this Will have recuperations for a long long time
go to the wedding reschedule the holiday
it's a no brainer

I think it's telling that OP completely forgot about the wedding. If I was excited to go to a wedding, I'd make sure I'd noted it and made arrangements to go. OP didn't. And why didn't her DP remind her/write it down somewhere for her?

OPs should go on the holiday. Definitely.

I really don't know how I forgot to save the date 😕....he got sent it on his family WhatsApp group (which im not on!) almost a year ago and forwarded it to me. I must have been in the middle of something and just forgot. He usually relies on me to remember and organise everything (what a surprise!) .....I rarely see his side of the family and when we do its because I instigate it. Holiday has been fully paid for and non refundable. My 3 friends all have children and jobs so dates are set in stone. It was a miracle we all had that week free (except it turns out I didn't 😭)

I am not disputing your post but this is ridiculous there were some people that didn't make our wedding the day after the wedding I was back to normal with them

Why do people need this endless drama of 'they didn't come to my wedding so I won't talk to them 20 years later'

People do need to get a life!

Go on holiday

I'm assuming you haven't RSVP'd to the wedding?

I'd go on the holiday. You made an honest mistake (as did your partner, so he can stop with the anger) and have now paid for the holiday.
Does anyone really care that much if anyone other than parents/siblings/really close friends can't attend their wedding? I mean, lovely if they are there, but hardly the end of the world if not surely? My sibling's partner is very nice, but I'm not that fussed and wouldn't really expect them to have my wedding as a huge priority.

So the date was only communicated to your partner via a WhatsApp message, to a group that you aren't on? There wasn't anything sent in the post?

This is your partner's fault.

Make 2024 the year he manages his own diary and family plans op.

@CrispsandCheeseSandwich the message then got forwarded onto OP you can’t say she wasn’t told.

I could get over my sibling's partner not attending my wedding - although forgetting the date when they'd had plenty of notice would make it crystal clear just how much they valued their in-laws.

However, if my DH didn't prioritise those keystone events in my family, and didn't accompany me to them I would be very very hurt indeed.

Fine not to attend these things, fine not to invite people to them - but those decisions will have long term consequences.

This man is a keeper!

If you wanted to go, you'd have remembered. Explain to your sister-in-law. Tell her your husband is looking forward to her wedding, and you the pictures of it. And enjoy your holiday.

I could get over my sibling's partner not attending my wedding - although forgetting the date when they'd had plenty of notice would make it crystal clear just how much they valued their in-laws.

The brother also forgot the date. Is it crystal clear how much he values his sister?

However, if my DH didn't prioritise those keystone events in my family, and didn't accompany me to them I would be very very hurt indeed.

Even if he ran the dates of his holiday past you first?

How can she be your SIL if the wedding hasn't happened yet?

She must be your partner's brother's/sister's fiancée?

Yeah - go on holiday!