When did putting husbands down become a national sport?

[Kosenrufugirl]

I was listening to a mainstream radio station the other day when the DJ publicly reciting a mistake her husband had made recently. She invited other women to join in and a short while later she read out their stories too. I am just wondering... I wouldn't behave like this to a work colleague no matter how much I might be annoyed with their behaviour. I would most certainly not be publicly humuliated like this by anyone without taking it up to the Line Manager. It's disturbing me why this behaviour seems to be acceptable towards husbands and partners. What do others think?

How are these women getting their husbands put down?

Just asking for a friend. 😬

I appreciate your point. But... surely we should be thinking of going forward not backwards?

@Kosenrufugirl I may be misunderstanding. But it does look as if you're saying you think the woman in the story was responsible for the man screwing up and it was her responsibility to put it right.

In the scenario you describe, surely if you're not clear which pair of shoes to take you text and check.

Was the tone angry? Exasperated? Amused? Long suffering?

The husband took the wrong pair of the woman's shoes to the charity shop. She sounded exasperated. She invited the other women to phone in with similar stories and their stories were aired too. I really felt for the DJ's husband. She made him sound completely useless on the account of his mistake. Surely this public airing is NOT how we approach problems with work colleagues and even girlfriends. This is what is bothering me. It's the first I heard husband bashing on the radio. Maybe I am overreacting

For the reference ... this particular husband of the DJ was instructed to take a pair of shoes to the charity shop. He took the wrong pair by mistake.

If I had made that silly mistake that impacted my partner I would not be so offended at them ribbing on me over it (good natured jesting).

In some workplaces people do have that kind of relationship that allows this sort of thing. Not all workplaces. However, relationships with friends and family will always be more relaxed and casual than professional workplace relations. So, not a good comparison is it?

If you enjoy being so easily offended you should thank the radio host for obliging you.

And I would completely understand their exasperation.

Thank you for reply. It wasn't a good natured jesting. She made him sound like a complete idiot on the account of one mistake. Imagine a man said the same? I am not easily offended. I like listening to radio and it's the first time I heard this kind of husband bashing

@Kosenrufugirl your colleague analogy doesn’t really work here though does it? A DJ needs daily content for interaction with listeners. Unless you’re a DJ too, I doubt you have to come up with the same.

I agree with what @Ladolcevita233 says. This whole holding ourselves to a higher standard is crap that’s ultimately fed by men.

Further to the earlier message.... I have no doubt if the DJ spoke like this about a friend and the friend found out (by listening to the radio) that would have been end of friendship. This is the tone it was said

I don't personally care for jokes about male domestic incompetence because as I said earlier in the thread, I think they play into stereotypes about womens work. However, gone too far? How are we measuring that? Are men in danger of losing out from it do you think? Are they less likely to be recruited into the better paid more powerful positions in society because there's now a narrative they are inferior to women? Are they seen as second rate and incompetent in the spheres that matter? Losing their privelege to women? Becoming down trodden? Because if that's the case I can understand the worry, but to me, as far as the negative impact on men goes it's seems more a case of harmless punching up that you probably care more about than the average man does.

I care a lot about harmony at work and at home. If a bad joke can damage morale at work (and hence not tolerated) why do we tolerate bad jokes related to domestic relations in the public domain? Men or female jokes, two wrongs do not make one right. Actually quite a few researchers measured men's reactions to shaming. It does affect them. There is even a book Why Women Talk and Men Walk written about it

Now there's an idea ...

@SameToo I agree with you and @Ladolcevita233. Sometimes a good dose of your own medicine is just what is needed to make a step in the right direction. I still hear of wives and girlfriends being referred to as the old ball and chain or the old bag. And as a joke it’s been done to death and become a bit tiresome now.

Come on, tomorrow’s phone in will probably be daft things your kids have said, silly mistakes you’ve made or “geriatric” moments to laugh about.
I heard a guy on the radio laughing that his wife filled her car tyres up to bursting point because she didn’t bother to find out how to do it properly.

If anything, it’s indulging men to laugh (affectionately) at their complete lack of care or thought when undertaking “domestic” tasks which they think are beneath them.

Lighten up. It’s not man shaming and it’s anonymous- no one is getting publicly humiliated.

@Kosenrufugirl why do you keep referring to colleagues? Are these the only women you have any interaction with?

Absolutely nailed it!

@Kosenrufugirl can you say more about how you think it was the woman's responsibility to analyse why the mistake happened and to examine her own behaviour to see whether it was her fault?

I work with men and women. I would not hesitate to pull up anyone on discourtesy, whether it's a man or a woman. Our line of work is very stressful. However the morale is high. I believe it's in good part because incivility is not tolerated

I doubt most men give two shits about this, because they don't care about being useless anyway in things they don't value

I think this is absolutely spot on.

I am saying it takes two to tango. The DJ's exasperation was way out of proportion to the crime committed. And I can only respond to what she said. Under no circumstances she would talk like this to a work colleague because she would be called a bully. She wouldn't talk like this to a girlfriend because she knows she would lose the friendship. Yet she felt it was ok to publicly berate her husband in front of many thousands of listeners. This logic defies me. Unless she would like a divorce and is making the statement why.

@Kosenrufugirl it was this point I was hoping you would address- "My point is if a colleague at work did the same, I would have found a private space to talk it over and get to the bottom of it. Am I giving too many or too unclear instructions? Is it something in my manner of giving instructions that they find objectionable and therefore choose to ignore me?"
Imagine the scenario.
"Could you take my blue shoes to the charity shop" "Sure" Man takes black shoes. Woman immediately assumes it's her fault.

I wonder how many of those above say it's high time, men deserve worse, we need to balance the score etc are married?

It seems like a strange strategy... to marry something you despise...

I don't like the Apple brand, so it would be strange for me to buy it just so I could criticise it.

This post is embarrassing.

you realise that the lazy bastards they are moaning about do not give a shit about you or the wider pursuit of equity between the sexes?

Go do something more worthwhile with your time. They aren’t doing the opposite on AskMen.com

@Kosenrufugirl Also, your colleague analogy implies a training scenario. Women are not responsible for training men to be functional human beings!

☝🏽 agreed