Am I the other woman? Is this an affair?

[shackies]

Hello. I won’t waste time here, I’ll get straight into it.

In November, one of my old friends and I had a one night stand. It was the best sex I have ever had. So passionate and adventurous. However, he is married and I am separated.

Yes I know, it’s terrible. We went to school together and have known each other since we were 12. We reconnected around 15 months ago and have chatted on and off since.

We had flirted a bit online before he came to my house and we had sex. This has only happened once. Since then, we have spoken on and off. I have tried to cut contact with him a couple of times but we always start talking again. He would usually initiate it.

Recently, I told him I was finding the whole situation difficult and he agreed it was. We both also agreed that the whole no contact thing was something we both sucked at.

Over the past few days, communication has really ramped up. We speak from morning until bedtime and throughout the day. Lots of flirting, but nothing particularly romantic. We talk about our days and have general chit chat too. He likes to know what I am doing, watches my posts on social media, asks for pictures of me and asks about men pursuing me.

I know I have been naive, or just buried my head perhaps. This is beginning to feel like it’s developing.

If you were his wife, would you consider this an affair? How would you recommend I move forward here? Thanks.

You don't really care about his wife or what she thinks though.

His wife would 100% think this is an affair, because it is.

You conscious is obviously kicking it. Tell him it's over then block him on everything.

It's threads and women like this OP that other posters need to remember when someone posts on here saying their partner has reconnected with an old friend/has a new female friend and they're uncomfortable with it.

Because too often the responses are, "Of course they're just friends. You're insecure and are going to ruin your relationship," or, '"Oh yes, because all single/separated women are just desperate to have sex with your husband 🙄🙄🙄," or whatever.

Because this is the reality.

For every bloke hoping to get his end away with another woman, ther will be some other woman more than willing to oblige.

You had sex and are still in contact, of course its an affair.
You are going to cause a world of pain. Please don't do this to another woman, if he wants to leave his wife and be with you let him end his marriage first.

Out of all the men in the world, please don’t entertain one who would break his vows and damage his family in this way. He’s shown he puts himself above all else and that’s including you by the way.

You’re just easy prey, as there are lots of women who would reject a married man and you’re one of the few whose bar is lower. Raise your bar!

I did sigh in huge relief though, when you said it’s the best sex you’ve ever had… because at least I know you haven’t got your hands on my husband!

Yep. You’re his ‘bit on the side’. Clearly not the love of his life, or he would have tried getting you into bed again. Sounds like you thought the sex was good, but he seems not to be in a rush to go there again does he? Just enjoys the chat. …

Yes it is an affair and yes you are the OW.

If you were his wife, or in any relationship, and your partner was behaving like this with another woman? Right, it's that simple.

If you don't cut all contact with him he will do this to you someday. Because the thrill of a new illicit romance is much more exciting than working at a current one. You know he's a cheat so he won't even have to pretend to be faithful to you.

Find another way to have fun and great sex. Find someone honest and available. Don't you think you deserve that? (If you don't, work on your self esteem.)

What about his children? His wife? His commitments that he made to them?

May I ask how he communicates with you when he is at home with his wife?

He's disgusting and you're entertaining him knowing that he's married, it's a pretty scummy thing for you both to do tbh.

Whether you want to call it an affair or not doesn't really change the fact that you've slept together and are now talking behind her back. No doubt his wife would be devastated to learn that she's been cheated on.

There are plenty of men in the world and he's far from a prince among men so I'd block him and walk away before anymore hurt is caused.

This is absolutely an affair. You had sex and an emotional affair is still an affair and I have seen emotional affairs destroy marriages. He wants a break from reality and you are giving it to him. He needs to work his messy insides out and not run from them.

Uurgh
Low quality man alert!!
Go find a better specimen. Personally it's making me feel sick.

It’s not right and you wouldn’t want to be his wife. This ando means he is disengaging from his family, his job. He is a mess

Would you be comfortable if you were in a relationship with a man that was doing this behind your back?

I agree with everyone else, this is really a bad idea and what you have already done is marriage ending. The guy can do this to his family? I don’t care how long you have known him that is scum.

Why are you making out like it's all the man's fault?

Low quality man alert 🤣🤣🤣 love it!!!

Well yes of course you are. What makes you think you're not?

Have a bit more self respect and dump him. It won't end well.

🤣🤣🤣

OP - on what planet wouldnt this be an affair??? Genuinely curious 🤣

Your disgusting , he is married! I was cheated on after 23 years with him. Hurt like FUCK and still has negative effect now. Im a shell of the person i was all cos of affair ! You know its wrong ! ✋ STOP and think !

If you were his wife, would you consider this an affair? How would you recommend I move forward here? Thanks.

Yes of course I bloody would! Honestly your post reads like a naughty teenager with no regard for this poor woman at all. You both ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

You are someone who likes to have sex and flirt with a married man in your spare time.
It's just who you are what you allow yourself to be so just own it !

Of course you are the other woman you had sex with him knowing he was married,yes it's an affair do I have sympathy for you no if he had not mentioned he was married then yes I would have sympathy for you.

He's worse as he is no doubt telling his wife a pack of lies and telling you things too to get what he wants.cut contact completely you know it's wrong he's married your enabling his behaviour if you continue.

Ffs stuff like this makes me feel sick

Because we had a one night stand and it wasn't planned, it felt like just that... a one night stand. Not an affair.

Seriously what age are you? Marriages split up for a one night stand. And even if you had not slept together, the texting each other day and night is just as bad. He is not your husband so back the hell off and stop with the self pity