Men, what's that one thing that your girlfriend/ partner/ wife does that keeps you committed to them?

[talesofhappy]

This really.
I'm curious to hear men's version the main reason they are in a committed relationship with their female partners.
Only looking to hear from men.
Thanks

You may not be inundated with replies from men on a mainly female forum. There are probably better places to ask. Also most men that are here seem to hang around the sex board or on posts in relationships that mention sex. 🙄

@cerisepanther73 I think 🤔 you have worded your mumsnet thread here in a clunky way

I agree, but suspect it was just worded like this in preference to straight out ‘what can I do so my partner doesn’t leave me’, or ‘what can I do to get a partner’, as that’s pretty much the only intent of such a question. Otherwise, who cares, your partner stays for you because of who you are, not because of things you need to do to ‘please’ them.

DH said “Chicken pie.” I do make a mean chicken pie, the key is a pinch or two of cumin in the sauce 😄

Tonight, I shall dream of the many ways I can morph into a new ethereally feminine being.

I will begin, I think, by focusing on being more whimsical, floaty and developing a tinkly laugh that will entrance all those with ineffable masculine energy in the vicinity. Any other suggestions, gratefully received. 👍

Meanwhile, the reality is the 'one thing' I do that keeps Mr Trez enthralled by me is I do not nag.

Not entirely sure where 'not nagging' sits in the ethereally feminine hierarchy, but for me (and him) it works!

I'd guessing that "not constantly posting on MN" would be high on most people's list!!

I am the same person I was when I was with ex OHs - I don’t do anything differently. But two exes decided to cheat and leave. Other nicer exes made the decision not to continue to be in a realationshio with me. So far, DH hasn’t (to my knowledge).

Im the same person. It’s not about doing things or not.

So many extremely defensive replies from women on here who clearly don’t want to know what men actually think, but believe they already know the answer.

For me: we have fun together, we have similar tastes in music and other activities, great sexual chemistry, she laughs at my jokes and appreciates me helping her with stuff. We live separately and both have kids from previous marriages which makes things tricky but also means we understand each other’s issues and baggage. She’s hard work but brilliant and I love her loads.

And yes, she has a great arse.

Well, aren’t you the charmer?

My DH couldn't understand why I'd been single for so long before I met him and how I struggled so much with dating, because he thinks I'm the best woman on earth, but I'm obviously not everyone's cup of tea.

Just goes to show it's never just something that you do that keeps someone committed, it's more about chemistry and connection.

@HoppingPavlova well yes, there's obviously other factors that keep us together. But I am for now, a SAHM so that is what I do, and I do it well, as I should.
Maybe I'm old fashioned In that sense. But that's what is good for our family.
I'm not saying that's the only thing that keeps him committed, as if he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't be.

Every morning I get up and pull my clothes out for the day and disappear into the shower. Every morning when I come back into the bedroom the bed is made and my clothes and deodorant are laid out on the bed.

Im sorry, this just made me throw up a bit in my mouth!

Im guessing you’ve not been married long?🤣

Glad it works for you and your DW though!

Grab a bucket because I get up every morning and make my DHs breakfast, coffee and packed lunch for him going to work.

Like being married to your mum when you were in primary school 😅

I’m truly bemused by two things here. How much some women here seem to detest and, dare I say, threatened by the idea that feminity is desirable. And also perplexed by what it means.
secondly, how so many seem to think that it is something completely unique to them that attracts their partner. Yes, you clicked and work together. Could he have clicked with lots of other women out there just as nicely? Probably so.
nothing wrong with trying to define the general traits/things that seem to make a relationship last from a male point of view.

That’s a lovely way to put it @WalkingThroughTreacle

But why wouldn't you do this if you had the time for it?
I always set my partners work uniform out before he starts getting ready. Been together nearly 7 years and I've always done it.

But why wouldn't you do this if you had the time for it?

I guess for me it feels infantilising. And I'm pretty sure there aren't many men putting out their wives clothes just because they have time.
As adult your clothes are your responsibility and that includes laundry!

@ElaineMBenes I suppose it varies and depends person to person.
For me, I do these things for my partner as I stay at home, and have the time.
If both partners working and have their own different schedules etc, then I can see why they wouldn't want to do this.
I think it's just something nice, that takes up little to no time and it shows care and appreciation

Does it involve ' wafting' about. I don't think I'd be good at that.

It's a two way thing, I put up with my wife's shit and she puts up with mine. We're a pair of mutants but in totally different ways.

I'm just here waiting for the definition of ethereal femininity. Extremely delicate and not of this world + qualities regarded as characteristic of women is the closest I've got so far.

I know 0 extremely delicate, not of this world women. I'm surprised pp knows so many men who desire that!

I know tons of kick ass women. They are the ones in secure, stable and fun relationships by the way

He said she does small things that are nice, then gave examples. Hardly worth throwing up over

How do you define femininity?
What is it to be feminine?
Surely it's just being a woman? Or is it the transwoman's perception of a woman?
I'm genuinely confused as to what constitutes being feminine, surely it's not wear in a frock, having long locks, fluttering one's eyelashes whilst laughing coquettishly at a some witticism made by a man?
Is it a painful process becoming feminine? squeezing oneself into high heels, wearing impractical clothing, shaving one's body parts, having electrolysis to stop facial hairs, doing something weird to one's eyebrows, making sure one uses plenty of potions and lotions on one's visage? Having one's ears pierced wearing discreet and understated jewellery. Wearing a delicate watch, conducting oneself in a laaaaady like manner? Keeping one's waist nice and trim, having Botox and defying the aging process?
Or is it an innate characteristic of being a women....because if it's the former it can go to fuck. If it's the latter, that's grand I'm feminine.

Anyway asked dh and his reply "you're so fucking scary time I wouldn't dare stray, you'd turn me in a eunuch before I could say 'jumping Jack flash!'" Hmmm maybe I need to work on the feminine side of me...

But can you make a great chicken pie?