Men, what's that one thing that your girlfriend/ partner/ wife does that keeps you committed to them?

[talesofhappy]

This really.
I'm curious to hear men's version the main reason they are in a committed relationship with their female partners.
Only looking to hear from men.
Thanks

Are you Samantha Brick?

Your partner is mainly with you because you are good at looking after his kids and house?

If that’s what you are saying then that is depressing surely, he could have married any number of women who’d do that - presumably there is something particular about you that appeals to him, beyond you providing a service?

I'm sure OP realises very well that men are not a homogenous group. That's why she was asking for replies from as many who are on here, saw her thread and decided to answer, rather than just writing "Seeking 'King Man' to tell me what the official authorised male response is".

On the other hand, nowhere did she proclaim an expectation that there would instantly be thousands of men who would spring into action and fill up the thread in 20 minutes.

I'm always bemused by posters who don't seem to realise that there are plenty of men on here - of course still very much a minority - mainly because most of them engage normally on the great many general threads that have nothing whatsoever to do with what sex you are, and don't feel the need to broadcast what genitals they have - thus disproving the same posters' confident assertions that 'all the men on here are wrong 'uns', based on extrapolating from the small sample who are pervs and wrong 'uns.

I think it's also very telling that a number of PPs have assumed that all men will instantly say "For the great BJs" or "Because she has a cracking arse". Maybe that's what their own husbands would say, but as we've already covered, men are not one big homogenous group. I've also seen women on here proclaim such that they would leave their husbands immediately if their hot celeb crush ever propositioned them. My assumption is that most of these people - men and women - are joking (or possibly grandstanding), but who knows?

I'm interested to see what some of the replies are too. Maybe the question could have been reframed slightly, but nobody has suggested that it's down to a woman being expected to 'do' something to 'keep her man interested'. As with all partnerships, people should remain in them willingly; and the kinds of things that your spouse/partner tends to do/say and how they behave are likely to influence how happy you are being with them.

That's why we normally meet, get to know and fall in love with somebody before beginning a relationship with them, rather than just ordering '1 man' or '1 woman' from a catalogue and trusting that what arrives in the post will be exactly what you fancy.

The number of women who manage to get their tits in a twist about someone asking men what keeps them committed to a relationship. As if the OP had any intention to make this about any of them in particular (perhaps this is the propblem, that some women are outraged some posts are NOT about them at all? 😂

This may baffle some members, buit in MumsNet there are members who are male, female, intersex, mums, dads, women without children and men without children.

And I am also interested in the replies from men, by the way.

That's quite a reaction. It seems you're still annoyed from a previous thread where I said I preferred to hear female points of view.
Let it go, move on friend
Or not it's up to you

For me

Trust (been about 14 years when i met my current partner, since i met the last lady i could trust or the trust sorta developed over time)
Can discuss different topics
Is open minded
nice to enjoy company and have a good natter
makes a cracking cuppa too

Asked DH of 27 years (together 29), he replied "you're an all round good egg, love your personality, sense of humour and kindness, we make a good team, you've always had my back, you're hardworking, organised, visionary and if I'm allowed to say, you give great BJ's"

This thread is funny. What about "boys only want love if it's torture". In my experience they seem to care a lot more if you treat them like crap. If you're nice to them they treat you like crap. I'm a woman though so what do I know.

Thank you! Am quite fond.

It's interesting that femininity seems an undesirable trait by women.

I've had many partners comment on my femininity amd strength. I always took that as a compliment. Feminine strength is no less than masculine strength.

My husband would say the things which keeps him committed is chemistry and compatibility among many other things. There is definitely not one thing which keeps him or me committed, it's a combination of so many things. He will also say a strong woman who can try to tackle life problems like the same way I expect a man to be.
OP I don't think committed men will be here on this forum though.

I don't think it's an undesirable trait. It's just a nonsense trait. There is nothing powerful about being masculine or feminine. They aren't strengths. They're just stereotypes. There is more value in being admired for your personality and/or achievements (because those actually do show strength of character) rather than your appearance.

There are some very odd comments on here!

Anyway, as a man on his second marriage.

My wife does all the things my ex didn’t. She is interested in what I do. We respect each other. We laugh together. She makes an effort to do some of the things I enjoy, and show enough of an interest in my hobbies that we can at least chat about them.

All of the above obviously applies in reverse.

I actually typed a much longer response but figured I will only get torn apart by some on here, but will leave a couple of small things she does every day that make me smile and feel loved.

I know there will be negative reaction from those who can’t see these simple acts for what they are but I don’t really care. They are small things that show me she cares and make me smile.

Every morning I get up and pull my clothes out for the day and disappear into the shower. Every morning when I come back into the bedroom the bed is made and my clothes and deodorant are laid out on the bed.

Whenever she goes to bed before me when I follow up I will find her asleep on her side with the duvet on my side nearly folded back for me.

Small things (and I do plenty back in return) that lots here will scoff at, but which remind me every single day that she loves me.

I wasn't talking about appearance.

That's what feminity is. It is the appearance of being stereotypically female in looks and character. If you don't follow the stereotypes, you won't be seen as feminine.

It's possible to be strong and brave and also ethereally feminine!

You do realise that only the first paragraph was responding to you, before I expanded and widened my thoughts, don't you?

I can't remember without looking exactly what was said by me or by you on the previous 'why are there men on MN?' - which always also lead to 'why are there non-parents on MN' - as they tend to blur into one; but of course, you have every right to prefer engaging with just women if you prefer.

It just annoys me when people - not saying you at all, I can't remember what you yourself said - try to start prescribing and controlling what they believe MN should be, and trying to tell people who may have been on MN for years longer than they have, that they are now not welcome, even when the owners of the site have clearly expressed that they are welcome!

But, hey, let's not derail and have yet another rehash of the same old tedious topic again.

Says who though?
Different people have different views of what femininity looks like especially when it comes to their sexual partners or romantic interests.

Same with masculinity, there's some women out there who say they are very attracted to masculinity but their views on what masculinity is is different.

There's even some women who think men wearing womens underwear is the height of masculinity or seeing their man have sex with another man. I don't get it but they do.

@talesofhappy

I think 🤔 you have worded your mumsnet thread here in a clunky way,

Just wondering if you could linguistic put this better in some way explain it better,

What does your girlfriend, partner or wife do that helps you feel more emotionally invested in your relationship in a good way or healthier way

or

Helps to ensure this ect

or

What are the ways to ensure that as part of couple,
that help to keep you keen to want to stay in a relationship
from male perspective
so a relantship does not go stale boring so not stuck in a rut,
and how to avoid not taking each other for granted ect

@talesofhappy

I 🤔 think your question is perfectly valid and inguiring emotionally intelligent one too,
and intriguing one at that...

Typo mistake omission linguistically *

@talesofhappy

L.o.l

do i potentially get a gold star for just "getting it",
not being perplexed by your question, or thinking its a bit of an odd or a trap question ect ? 🌟 🤩

@WhimsicalMothMy (male) partner would probably say "doing a great job at taking care of our children, and keeping a tidy, clean and well presented home

You are truly happy to be with a partner who wants to be with you and stay with you on this basis?

My poor DH could only dream of this🤣. While he didn’t do a ‘better’ job with our kids per se, he definitely spent more time with them than I did due to my work requirements versus his, and I think he clued on quite early that my motto re housework was that somewhere in the rough ballpark (or at times an adjacent ballpark) was good enough🥴. Obviously I didn’t expect more of him than this either😁.

@talesofhappy

I can see why your question could be perceived as a trap 🤔 question in some way ?

Legend 🤣🤣🤣

Was trying to scroll myself back to sleep and now fully awake from the LOL tho, so ‘ave a word with him would ya? 😜