He's spotted passports are missing

[DucksNotQuiteInRowYet]

I'm making plans to leave emotionally abusive and coercive H and take 3 kids to safety. My ducks are not quite in a row just yet as I don't have accommodation to go to but today he's spotted that the passports are not where they should be.

Help. What do I do next?

You can be asked for passport numbers when booking flights.

Just say you have no idea where they are - just be really nonchalant and say they'll turn up/you'll have a proper look when you're feeling better/have time.
Send him the pics of the passports if he needs them for whatever reservation he's tinkering with.
The less bothered/flustered you seem by his request, the less likely he is to think anything is up.

Time to move out now. Well done in your advance planning so far.

Please keep you and your DC safe. Good luck

This.

Also, can you go to a solicitor to get a prohibited steps order to stop him leaving the country with them.

Just keep point blank say 'I don't know, when did we last use them' I didn't move them.

Are you able to move this arvo? I hope you are ok x

Just say you don’t know and ask him if he moved them.

OP- where are you and your other 2 children at the moment? This will help us advise you what to do next. Use this as your opportunity to get away from this man.

Gaslight him. Tell him he must have moved them. He needs to think really hard about when he last had them.

Could you take say oh I think I have the numbers wrote down somewhere …maybe try to “look” first , act concerned then say “ oh! I wrote them down before when …. “ ( maybe someone here can help with a reason ) when you have already wrote them down somewhere and put it away as if it’s been there a while. That way you look like you are looking , he still has the info and this may hold him off from being so concerned about finding them. How long until you can leave ?

I’d look blank and helpful but a bit annoyed at his disorganisation taking your time. ‘Are you sure you didn’t take them out to check when you first thought of booking the holiday?’ Have you searched everywhere around the desk in case you did? Or maybe you put them with travel things as prep? I’m happy to help look but I really need to rest now. I will have a think later of where else you might have put them.
and get out asap. Good luck.

Or - let him look , suggest getting new ones and offering to do this if you will be gone before they should arrive ? Tell him you have sent off for them

Gaslight him. Tell him he must have moved them. He needs to think really hard about when he last had them.

This is the best approach I think but you are in a vulnerable situation. I would just say as far as you know they are where you left them/normally are. you've not moved them. They must be in the house somewhere. ask if he's moved them. when did you last use them? holiday? maybe he left them in the travel bags.

If they can't be located then at some point you'll need to start acting concerned as to whether you need to get replacements or whether they have been stolen as that would be a normal reaction to totally missing passports but that can wait. The less you say the better as more lies means more to remember and more chance of being caught out or provoking a reaction.

I think it’s time to move your leaving plans forward. He sounds suspicious OP and that means you aren’t safe at home with him anymore.
Is your home owned or rented x

If he reports the passports lost it would mean the ones you have will be invalid anyway

"I'll search for them as soon as I get over the head injury. Give me a day or two"

Please remember, you can call the police, if you can't find a safe way to leave.

If he's kicking off, they will come and help. Mention the existing head injury.

Tell him your priority right now is getting better

Holidays can wait

Just keep feigning confusion, lack of memory, you’ve not seen the passports in ages, etc etc
Could someone come to take your kids out for a “treat” , a post Christmas thing, someone’s birthday treat, the. They could spontaneously invite you along too?
Good luck, OP. Stay strong.
If he kicks off call 999, say you already have a head injury, you and kids are at risk , Police will attend.

You can do this OP, go now and be safe and free of him. It will be a tough few months but you’ll look back from a happier place in a year.

If you have parents alive say you have given them the passports to set up trust funds for the children and yours was also needed to identity to access them on their behalf.

There appears to be a lot of advice from women who have never been in a DA situation (thank god). Just saying this, or just saying that, is often really not an option! Please think before you type.

Stay strong OP you're doing the right thing. Can you flag your situation with the hospital or police in case it escalates?

Good on you OP you can do it! There's never a perfect time to leave, if you've got your passports and your children, I'd just get out. You can return later with police if you need to retrieve more stuff.

Absolutely just leave today.

Is there any chance he could see this thread?

Play dumb. You put them somewhere safe but you can’t remember where.

Is he likely to not believe you or become aggressive if you simply say you don’t know?