Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fab & Glam Part 4 - Spring into Happiness!

1000 replies

Paddlechick666 · 17/03/2008 13:26

Good Lord people, we've filled a thread up in about 6 weeks!

Anyways, here's a link to the venue Tanee suggested for a picnic:

www.coramsfields.org/index.php

Looks fabulous so let's get planning!

ps: sorry for London/Southern centric take on this but we'll plan hits around the rest of the country too I promise.

pps: Lily, get yer butt on FB woman!

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 18/03/2008 12:46

nothing like a bit of flirting for an ego boost. being off men doesn't mean you can't window shop eh!

i think i will have to go back to Wagamama more often. First time in ages I've seen anyone I thought was really cute.

Telling statement about H being away and back again. Bluddy hope SG stays away from you.

I still think you should flog the famous band story - with names - to Screws of The World.

OP posts:
Baffy · 18/03/2008 13:03

pmsl!

I didn't get any chance to flirt though did I When he came into yours it was the one time in the whole weekend that ds decided to be a little monster! I think seeing me shouting at ds to stop drinking the water out of your vase of flowers probably put the final nail in the coffin!!!

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 13:05

Hi guys

Help me stay strong now please

OW has upped her game and is stamping her foot again - now she has her promotion she is trying to get h out . He has sent on the email she sent him saying that he is 'overlooking' her at work (copied into boss too). H says boss is not happy but as he is a man not sure he is reading between the lines ifswim.

Should i just stay out and expect these stupid men to sort it out? or do as i feel at the moment and at least get it out of my system?

I am absolutly fuming at the moment and that is not good - i think this is why i have felt a bit nervous lately - i just dont think it is over and she still wants her revenge.

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 13:15

HW, a smuch as I would love to stick my twopenneth in I would keep out of it. This is one mess he has to sort out himself.

I think it is perfectly understandable that you are fuming and need to rant. OW is now the woamn scorned and she is showing her pain at being rejected by hitting H in the only area she knows it will hurt. He has to show her is is strong and can rise above all this. He has to work with his boss on this one, she should be made to provide proof which can back up her allegations. At the moment they are just words. H needs to be ready to show that she is acting out of spite.

You my love need to stay calm and stop yourself from going in a wringing her scrawny neck! Rant on here xx

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 13:21

I am trying to do that - but these men just dont get it - she has been stabbing her in the back since she got what she wanted (work wise anyway). They will know soon anyway but i just want to get it all in the open to show her for what she is. Of course i am doing it for me too but i dont want her to hurt him at work as it will hurt the dcs. She angry at him for personal reasons not proffessional and if she wants personal to come into it i have enough old emails to really show her up - yes it might make h look a bit silly but i really do feel that most people think he has done the right thing.

Calm calm calm - and breath - i just want her out of my life and this is doing my head in - lets just get it all in the open like i wish i had in the first place.

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 13:28

I can totally understand where you are coming from, we just have to find a way to do this 'professionally' rather than as a tit for tat exercise. How would it be if H got all his evidence together i.e. the emails and whatever else he has and goes and has a word with his boss. On a personal and confidential level.

My guess is he is holding back from really letting rip because 1, he feel ahamned and embarrassed by his behaviour and 2, he feels a bit guilty for dumping her. Men are not like us women, we tell it straight, we tell it as it is, they duck and dive around thr truth hoping the whole sorry thing will just blow over. I can understand why you want to step and and take charge but, I don't think it's wise.

What the hell is her game anyway! What a cow! Why can she not just accept that it's over and leave H to get on with his job in peace. She really must be mad at him. Ruthless!!!

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 13:32

Just a thought but, are the emails really incriminating? I was just wondering what her reaction might be if she received copies of them with the word 'COPIES' written in bold ink at the top of them. Would they be enough to shut her up without actually having to say anything. Its something that you could do, without telling anyone

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 13:36

She is mad at him - he dosent need the evidence as such it is common knowlege how she feels - just that at the time i think she thought h would leave - she said all the right things and the bosses were reluctent to let either of the go - i now believe they should have sacked the pair of them.

Being men they just thought it would go away. And believed that she would be professional. H has been and i think he is still learning how devious woman can be. He is no longer ashamed or embarrassed. I dont think he has any feeling towards her - he knows he hurt her but she 'allowed' that too as she knew what she was getting into all along. In fact i think now he sees what she can be like he is appauled that he could have ever liked her - a case of being lead by his trousers!!!

The boss is angry at her too and will probably slap her wrists and she will say 'sorry i wont do it again' blah blah blah.... I just feel that i will make her feel so uncomfortable if i rant to her and at the moment that is waht i want more than anything. I want her out of my life forever so if there is a chance i can sort it why not?

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 13:44

The emails are the sexual kind - so would be uncomfortable for everyone - but at least she would find it hard to hold her head in her next power meeting. The company did not delete them as they have a legal requirement to keep them. She knows i have read them and i just feel so wicked at the moment. we all like to think we are not interested in what others get up to in their private lives yet we all love the juicy gossip . They wont hurt her as such professionally just be very embarasing. I am not bothered about the bosses seeing them - just want to cause an 'east-enders' moment and see if she can live with that. She was hoping i couldnt handle him working with her. I did say to the bosses i would not cause a fuss as it could look bad for them too but they will know that she has overstepped the mark anyway and so all bets are off now.

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 14:08

remind me never to get on your wrong side!

Ok, so if i give you TFM permission to give it your best shot, to go in there guns blazing, whats your plan? What will you do?

Sock it to me!

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 14:11

By Eastenders moment, your'e not planning on drugging her then burying her alive are you we would have to have out next Teabag meetup at Wormwood Scrubs!

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 14:20

Sorry dont watch eastenders really - just meant something all staff would want to 'watch' . But if there were drugs and murder all the better .

I know i am better than her in everyway. I am even considering her dcs in this - which is more than she ever did when she left them. I am better than her - hold the thought.

I do think the bosses are getting fed up with her but then she may be doing the same as baffys ow and sleeping with him anyway to keep her job.

I am feeling a bit calmer now and i am going to pick up the knife and prepare some supper for my brood . Those onions will be well and truely minced today .

Just feel that if i had taken control in the first place it could have all been sorted by now.

I am a nice person really TFM - but yes as you know we share star sign so if you cross me do watch out.

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 14:30

I know you are a nice person! I never doubted it. You are also trying very hard to get your marriage back on track after this woman almost tore it apart, you are fiercely protective and desperate for her not to undo any of the hard work you have done. All totally understandable.

The only problem I can see with it all is that it is H who works with her and so it is H who has to sort it out. I think you have to trust that he will do that. I'm just wondering what the impact of you becoming invovled would be, both at work and at home. IYSWIM.

I reckon that you are best coming on here to rant but playing the supportive wife at home while genlty dropping poisonous subtle hints as to how he can keep in control of the situation at work.

Unless you fancy meeting up with her and discussing things 'woman to woman'. Did you ever contact her after the 'event'? Did you ever confront her at all? Would you feel up to doing that? Maybe she needs a reminder that H has a family!

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 14:31

You must start watching Eastenders! between that and CSI you can come up with some great ideas for the perfect murder and how to get away with it

Tanee58 · 18/03/2008 14:41

Speaking of Eastenders, DD was very disconcerted at being compared to Chelsea - 'but she's black!' she cried. I haven't watched it for ages, so we googled a picture & I had to persuade her that apart from the colour, she DOES look a bit like Chelsea !

HW, what a ghastly woman, but rest assured she's digging her own grave. Just sit tight, let her keep digging.

Baffy, I'm so sorry that none of us was a man - but I suspect that Dior really IS a hairy biker under her Liz Hurley cunning disguise . Actually, we're ALL really hairy bikers - we were wearing rubber masks on Sunday.... Having met you, I think your H is completely, utterly mad. Why is he hanging out with a psychotic lapdancer when he could have had you!?

Lilybubble, enjoy your press night tonight, you will look gorgeous whatever you wear. Do let us know if you get any freebies - DD would love Hairspray!

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 14:45

Tanee, I just have to say I have seen the photo's and i think your dd is gorgeous! Similar to Chelsea yes but much better looking. She is a stunner! Just like her mum!

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 14:57

TFM

as you know i have spent a long time looking at what i want and getting it for myself. I did meet her before i knew and did phone her at the time (she was very scared i would ruin her at work at the time). I do think this was all predicable as she has not really had closure. I also know that i need to leave it to him to sort out (and actually he is - and he is doing very well).

I am so glad i can rant on here as i have been so mad today i have paced up and down getting muself in a real state.

Thankyou for being here.

I know i am so much better than her in every way (h knows that too - and she just cant stand the fact that she messed up big time).

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 15:03

hey, you are welcome. Its nice to be able to return the favour you should have seen me at the weekend, trying to walk off panic attacks by pounding the pavement in the pouring rain, like a woman possessed! Mascara streaked face to boot!

I know all of the hard work you have put in, and are still putting in. You are to be commended and YES, you are without doubt a better woman than she is or than she is ever likely to be. She will get her comeuppance, i am sure of it. I am a firm believer in what goes round comes around! I think you are amazing! But you are allowed a little wobble or a violent thought every now and then, it's so nice to know you are human!

Did you get your hair done by the way? Did you go for a different cut? xx

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 15:16

lovely haircut - but not much different - not brave enough until the sunny weather. Still it makes you feel better anyway.

I really am feeling calmer now so thankyou.

Baffy · 18/03/2008 15:38

Sorry I keep missing everything at the mo! HW you are doing so so well.

I did wonder myself if you needed to meet this woman face to face to get some closure.

I know for me, I would absolutely 100% not have been able to cope if I hadn't met h's SG! In fact within about 3 hours of me finding out she was even on the scene, I went straight to her work to see her face to face.

You most definitely are so much better than her. And by supporting H, and trusting him to deal with it in the best way he can, I think you are doing the best that you can.

Now that's not to say that I don't think a 'gentle' reminder from you would be a good thing. I know if it were me then one of those e-mails would be posted to her! Or I would be waiting outside work one evening to 'bump' into her!

But you see, I do have this little streak in me that means I just have to do something. For me that was because H was too bloody crap to do something himself, so it was me against the world!! But for you, you have H by your side, and he is trying his best to fix this. That's all good.

Rising above it really is the best way (most of the time). Even though it's bloody hard!

And hey - don't listen to me - look where my last episode of doing something got me....!! Although I have all the evidence I need against her, I could really have done without a pint thrown over my gorgeous new top!!!!

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 15:50

Thanks baffy - i really do not need to face her - not because i am scared but i really dont want it end up being a slanging match. However i do think if i dont do something then i will forever regret it.

It is only because she is feeling smug and secure now (with her promotion under her belt) that she feels she can start to chip away at him. I do know that the boss is pretty pissed off with her (being a man i dont think this would happen and he is now kicking himself too).

I just want to be cruel really and let her know that even though the stupid men may not know all that she is up to that i do and i am not afraid to bring it all in the open. Is that a gentle reminder - i think she thinks i will not as it may 'hurt' h too - but actually i dont think it will as he has been as open and honest as he can.

I really dont think she has many allies at work as we have had a lot of 'bits' of info from people and it will really un-nerve her if she knew she was being 'spied' on as such. I havent done any of this - others have just offered the info. Silly bitch will have her comeupance soon anyway so why am i even bothered? Because i want to watch it all and i am being too impatient for my own good.

HappyWoman · 18/03/2008 15:54

I think she is also trying to 'force' something at work and would rather he leave.

God i hate these games - but i am still drawn to them - so addictive.

Baffy · 18/03/2008 15:56

Sounds like H, the other staff, and most importantly the boss, are all fully aware of what she is doing.

Be patient!!

Sounds like she will get what she deserves soon enough.

And you can sit back in the smug knowledge that she caused every bit of it herself

TimeForMe · 18/03/2008 16:01

HW, Maybe she isn't feeling smug and secure, thats why she feels the need to cause H all this trouble. Lets face it, if she were really happy and content then she would be getting on with her life, she wouldn't be sticking the knife in and trying to cause problems for H.

If we look at this from a different perspective then your H must be doing a good job in letting her know he is no longer interested and that they are well and truly history.

AS for the other stuff, I don't think it's cruel at all to want to let her know you have got her number, you know what her game is. As for being impatient, I don't think you can ever be described as impatient. I think you have been bloody marvellous!! Stop trying to be nice all the time, you can be as horrible as you want on here, I am sure Richard Templar doesn't post on MN

Glad you like the hair, hope it has given you a lift just when you need it xx

ginnedup · 18/03/2008 16:26

HW - I'm very much like you and Baffy in that I have to do something and can't wait around for something to happen if I can make it happen sooner.
BUT, most times I have done that I've regretted it after and wished I'd played the long game and bided my time.
I think she's causing trouble because she's lost and she knows it. H chose you over her and no amount of promotions will ever change that. She's a bitter twisted old cow, whereas you are a lovely attractive woman whose husband made the right choice in the end.
Guess where my P is today? Do I care?
Not likely . He can drink himself into the gutter on his own!!!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.