boyfriend cancelled on me on Christmas Eve

[letdownchristmas]

I had plans to see my boyfriend tonight, he said he was cooking dinner and I'd bought nice breakfast stuff for Christmas morning and he has just cancelled on me saying that he has a had a busy day working and he still needs to have a shower and drive an hour to give his friend a lift to see his family as trains aren't running. I have turned down a family invite to spend time with him and I have expressed that I am unhappy with him and he is prioritising giving a grown adult man a lift who could sort out his own transport over seeing me. He just said well shit happens can't you just drive here in the morning? I said no as he lives 20 miles away and I'm not spending Christmas morning driving up and down the motorway as I'm having Christmas lunch with family. Am I being unreasonable to be furious with him?

Not at all. Is it too late to join your family’s plans.

YANBU - go and join your family

He's going out with " said mate" tonight..
I'd go to your family tonight and stay over and have a fabulous Happy Christmas.
Dump the b/f and go into 2024 with a weight off your shoulder.

That is hugely disappointing and very inconsiderate of him, he has prioritised his friend and doesn't seem to be very (or at all) apologetic. Is he usually a good sort?

If he had suggested driving to you tomorrow so that you could have breakfast together that would be something but he just wants you to drive to him. He is not willing to make any effort at all.

He can't be that excited about seeing you if he's made other plans. I know that sounds harsh but there is someone out there who will value you more. Make dumping him your new year resolution.

His friend drives and could have rented a car, this friend is always asking for favours and he always jumps. My mum is alone so I'm going to go and stay over at hers tonight and keep her company. I'm just a bit hurt tbh and I even spoke to this morning and he never said!

He's obviously off out with his mate tonight and tomorrow morning will be a write off as he'll be too hungover.

Go to your family now, enjoy your Christmas and give him the heave ho ho ho

I've blocked him as tbh I don't want to hear his excuses. I'm just going to try and enjoy my Christmas without any drama. I'm also upset as I am social worker and I get very little time off work atm and I'm back at work on the 27th so wanted to enjoy these few days and he knows this 😞

He clearly had an offer which appealed more than seeing you. You are right to be hurt.

How long have you been with him
OP?

You've definitely done the right thing going you your mums and blocking him. Have a nice chilled evening with your mum, take the breakfast stuff over and enjoy with her.

Since april so not a long term relationship but we've.just been abroad together so it was starting to get serious, or so I thought.

He sounds like an absolute waste man, OP. He doesn't care enough about you. So shit that he's showed you who he is like this but don't keep letting him behave like this ❤️

It’s a shitty day of the year to last minute cancel on anyone let alone your girlfriend. He’s shown you his priorities loud and clear. Sorry but if he really wanted to he could have given him friend a lift and seen you as normal. You’re right not to make an effort for him and I would be going into the new year single. I hope you can still have a good Christmas with family.

Always make family a priority at Christmas anyway. I definitely wouldn't give another chance either, cancelling last minute is a huge no no especially at this time of year. Keep him blocked.

I would break up with him over this. If you make plans and he cancel them for something like this then you are not his priority and he doesn't care about you that much.

I’m sorry OP, what a shitbag man and what a weak excuse!

Sorry that’s really shit. He’s not a keeper OP. In the bin!
Hope you still manage to enjoy Xmas.

It sounds like now that you're getting serious, he's pulling away. How rude to blow you off last minute, ruin your plans, and then ask you to run around after him.
Bin.

If hes driving his friend, cant he see you after it with a takeaway instead of cooking? Or was that not a option from him?

If not, thats really shitty to cancel xx

This sounds exactly like one of my exes. Met in the March, went on holiday in August and when we got back from holiday, he started to play hot and cold.

Got to December and he invited me over to his family's house for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.He text me the 23rd to say he had changed his mind and wanted to spend Christmas just as a family. I was devastated. Broke up in the January.

Looking back at the last few months, do you think he has been pulling back from the relationship? Well done for having clear boundaries BTW.

Yeah I wouldn't be pleased. You've been ditched for a better offer, ie, drinking with his friend OR pandering to his friend. Either way he has shit on your Christmas Eve. I'd be pissed off and questioning the viability of him longer term.

He has shown you where his priorities lie. Actions definitely show this in relationships. You deserve more! Enjoy your time with your mum

I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just gone over later than planned?

Its a nice thing that’s he’s giving a friend a lift home but he should have rang you and apologised and said that he’ll be home later than planned.

Why does the whole evening have to be cancelled?

This would be the end of the relationship for me.

He’s shown you where you lie in his priorities OP, you deserve better! Keep him blocked and move on!