Partner took everything he got me

[lostxlonely]

So in a fight a few months ago my partner took all the gifts he brought me because I lost something of his he said he brought me things with the intention I would take care of his things and since I haven’t he took it all back months later he still hasn’t gave me anything back. The only thing left is a perfume he got me and he keeps saying where is it and he wants it since I don’t use it and his running low. I mean it’s not about the gifts it’s the fact that I’ve never met anyone like this? I’ve never taken back gifts or had them taken but these must not be gifts if that’s the intent he got them with? I thought we buy things for people with love? Don’t want to accept anything from him going forward.. What do you all think?
we are a family with a 1 year old.

I've got a 1 year old so completely understand why you don't want to break up the family but this guy sounds like an absolute twat. Gifts are just that, they can't get taken if behaviour is questioned. I'm not one for a LTB but this kind of shit would make me wonder why I'm with the prick🤨

I really found it so weird. I never even think about gifts in an argument because once they’re given they’re given right? Like I have never met anyone like this before? It gives me ick

You feeling like that is exactly right. I'd be ditching that fucker asap. The ick is exactly what most women would be feeling now

@lostxlonely he wants it since I don’t use it and his running low what is he going to do with it if you return it?? Use it himself??? I dont think I could be with anyone who behaves like this at all!! you know what kids are like. when your child is a little older they will start to lose literally everything. is he going to do the same with them? cut your losses now.

What shitty behaviour on his part. He's a wanker.

What did you lose that caused this frankly abusive response.

Wait a minute...is he disciplining you like a child? I will confiscate your perfume till you do xyz..weirdo.

Who on earth has a mental tally of what they gift people for ammo?

Id take some of his things and "discipline" him back

Total tosser. Get rid.

Ugh he sounds horrible.

OP, do you rent or have a mortgage together? Do you work? I think you need to have an escape plan even if you don't use it yet.

What have I just read. Just leave him. It's not only not normal, but bordering abusive.

Do you live together OP?

I'm assuming you don't, as if he's 'taken all the gifts' they must not still be in the house for you to find and just, well, take back.

Either way, this is ridiculous behaviour!

Firstly, you don't give gifts 'with the intention' of anything. That would be a bribe. And the 'intention that you would take care of his things' makes zero sense.

Secondly, once a gift is given it belong to you. Not the giver.

The fact that he's taking your stuff 'back' is controlling and even worse, childish.

What is he bringing to this family? He sounds like a compete idiot. Honestly, would you be any worse off without him?

And please don't have any more children with this knobhead.

I lost his 2/300 Louis Vuitton necklace like 7 months postpartum, he doesn’t tidy up or look after his things all responsibility is on me so I think when tidying I’ve accidentally thrown it out I don’t even remember either it’s still here somewhere or I’ve thrown it but he then accused me of cheating and giving it to someone? Which he still says but I’ve never cheated and I would not give his stuff or used gifts to people anyway just so bizarre ps he was caught cheating emotionally last year it’s when the accusations started against me

I’d leave him too. What is he going to be like with your child when they are old enough to piss him off? (Which will not be far away, they start developing a mind of their own long before they are two). Will he confiscate all of their toys? Take away their Christmas presents?

From what you've described you're not "a family".
Also why does he want to wear your perfume?

He’s awful. Leave.

We do live together his taken them and put them in his bag away from me and I’m to afraid to ask for them back as he will make out I’m greedy and it’s about things etc when it’s not

This isn't a 'partner'. He's a lazy control freak.

He is controlling you. You need to get rid of him. He will also start to do it to your child when they are older.

Please make him am ex, you don't need this abusive man In your life

This is enough to dump him over. This is only the beginning. It will get worse. Do not put you and your child through years of continuing misery. Cut your losses now and move on. This is emotional abuse.

I doubt that you’ll be opening a Christmas gift from him tomorrow. He won’t change and you have the power to prevent your child from being affected by his toxic behaviour. All the best for a happier future.

Ok let's forget the gifts. They are a red herring. He's a twat. A cheating, argumentative twat who you're afraid of. I ask again, how exactly would you be worse off without that fear and control in your life?

Not sure why the focus is on gifts and not the fact your boyfriend cheated on you, is a total loser and needs dumped, pronto. Raise your standards and be a brilliant example to your kid that women do not tolerate shit men.

And now you've started another thread saying you do everything and he does nothing.

You're going to get the same comments on both threads. This is not someone to build a life with.

He is gaslighting you .

Are you living together . You need to separate . He will grind you down .

No co incidence when this all escalated .

Just seen your update about him cheating. He is still cheating. Him accusing you of cheating is pure projection from him.
Even more reason to why you should have ended the relationship before now.

My life wouldn’t be worse of without him I pay all the rent/bills/grocery/baby stuff etc, I do all the chores, cleaning and cooking and when asked to leave he begins to threaten to kill himself which he attempted before the other night I told him to leave he had a manic episode hitting himself having a breakdown shook me smashed his head of a cabinet and the cabinet door fell off no longer there