Partner took everything he got me

[lostxlonely]

So in a fight a few months ago my partner took all the gifts he brought me because I lost something of his he said he brought me things with the intention I would take care of his things and since I haven’t he took it all back months later he still hasn’t gave me anything back. The only thing left is a perfume he got me and he keeps saying where is it and he wants it since I don’t use it and his running low. I mean it’s not about the gifts it’s the fact that I’ve never met anyone like this? I’ve never taken back gifts or had them taken but these must not be gifts if that’s the intent he got them with? I thought we buy things for people with love? Don’t want to accept anything from him going forward.. What do you all think?
we are a family with a 1 year old.

He is abusive and controlling OP and using the threat of suicide to control you. He sounds dangerous. Can you get some support from family to help you tell him to leave? Or contact Women's Aid for support and advice. Please don't stay in this relationship, for yourself and your baby, you deserve better.

Aaaaaarrrggggg why in the name of sanity are you subjecting your child and yourself to this loon???

Oh no, this is a typical abuser.

He 100 per cent knows what happened to the necklace. He's very likely sold it, and your gifts, as a PP said. Or he has given your gifts to another woman. I had an abusive ex just like this.

At best, he has hidden the necklace to give him a 'reason' to abuse you.

end this now, for the sake of your child.

That’s weird. Controlling behaviour springs to mind.

One of my exes gave me a gift that was worth say £100. He borrowed money from me (we were separated at the time with a child so we didn’t live together but he was making the effort to fix the relationship) and when I asked for the loan back (as he never paid for his child) he told me that the gift was equivalent to the loan and if I want him to pay me back I should give back the gift.

I honestly did not know what to say. With these kind of people when things are good they are good and when things turn they become horrible.

I can see why you might be together for the child but maybe start thinking about breaking things off. Your child does not need to be exposed to his toxic behaviour as they get older.

You need to tell him to leave and if he starts to hurt or shake you, call the police.

Have you posted about this before? The lost necklace sounds familiar.

He sounds like a petulant 5 year old and deranged. I'd say nothing now but wouldn't be gifting him anything tomorrow and after NY I'd go to see a solicitor. I'd not tolerate his controlling behaviour.

OMG he cheats too. Definable bin off. You deserve far better.

Get out of house with baby and ring police or Woman's refuge or both. Have him charged. Get it photographed before it fades. Press charges. He needs locking up.

What a twat

Succinct and 100% right 👏🏻

He’s got that ‘missing’ item he’s using this as a way to torture you LTB

Million per cent coercive control. You're a victim of domestic abuse. Kick him the absolute fuck out. Horrible tosser.

I read more. He is absuing you. It'll get worse, it'll never stop. Get away tonight.

You are in a domestic abuse situation.

Speak to Women's Aid or local DA services.

They are legally yours as he "gave" them to you. Take them back and change the locks when he's at work.

This man is abusive. PLease leave him. If nothing else, do it for your child, who will be seriously damaged by the situation if you stay around.

And talk to the Police. Be honest with them.

You owe it to your child.

I thought that.

Then ring them again when he's not there

Ring women's aid.

2024 - get him out.

OP, are you sure YOU were the one who 'lost' it? What evidence is there that it wasn't him? Is he gaslighting you? His behaviour is controlling. I agree with a pp about having an escape plan. Have you got someone you can confide in irl?

Everything @Cakeandcardio said with Christmas bows on xx

Is his name on the tenancy, if he has no claim and pays nothing towards bills and rent can you kick him out, I'm sure if you didn't have a child together you'd have got rid of him ages ago.

My sisters husband was like this and he even hit her a few times. In the end she split because he cheated. After all that she tolerated to keep her family together, he cheated and during that course she had their third baby, which he then rejected. Please run , run and don't look back xxx

Please get help, ring 999. I hope you and your little one are ok.

I was living in a house share once and heard the man in the next room beating the shit out of a woman. It was all kicking off to the extent that i feared for myself I ended up calling the police there and then but couldnt even raise my voice because i was scared stiff. Thankfully they came straight away and the woman ran as soon as the door was opened.

I hate him, I hate him so much. I kept it together for the sake of Christmas and it not being awkward when my family came. But I’ve just had the biggest breakdown whilst he isn’t here I’ve been crying since 11:45 non stop and sucking it up when my little one is around I hate my life. and I know I have brought upon myself for tolerating it. I was raped, used and abused earlier in my life I am 29 now. I was also told I was infertile and for 8+ years I believed that. I always wanted a family a husband a baby a home full of laughter love and extraness. I wanted happiness , I wanted to feel protected and I think a part of me held on for so long because of the toxic idea of a joint family I had but I am done. I am ready to tell him it’s over when he comes back today. I can’t cope, I’m losing my mind. I shut up and get on with it I cook everyday I clean work and take care of the baby manage finances clean up after everyone constantly laundry etc and instead of seeing that and thinking she needs a break he throws more on me. This morning he mentioned the perfume he got me he wants it as he has run out of cologne and told me to go get it I told him it’s in the suitcase so he said to make sure to get it out by the time he is back as he has no cologne for when he goes outside. I’ve just looked in the suitcase where I thought I had seen it and it’s not there now I’m worried to tell him this as it’s somewhere but I just don’t know where? Like with his necklace he accused me of “cheating and giving it away to whoever I cheated with” (never cheated and don’t have that broke mentality to give people used stuff) so wouldn’t never do that so weird. But I just don’t know all I know is today I am going to tell him it’s over and I have no idea how I’ll survive the rest of the month as I have no money and I get paid on the 27th January (not that he contributes anyway)