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Original poster

Unemployed Dh now signed off for a year- fed up and skint!

319 replies

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 19:16

Dh has been unemployed for over 9 months. He's been applying for remote work but not getting any where. I think he's now given up as he has diabetes and side effects .
He was on jsa but has now had a meeting with the disability person who has signed him off as unfit to work.
But he's capable of working. He spends all his time on the computer. He walks the dogs for miles, potters in the garden etc.
He's late 50s so I think he's subtly retiring
But we can't afford it.
I work ft and can just afford rent bills and food. There is no spare money. We have spent our savings.
We have teenagers who want to go out with friends and spend money.
I'm starting to feel really resentful of someone I see 24/7 who now has a cushy life.
How do I stop feeling like this?

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 20:38

Myyearmytime · 14/12/2023 19:17

Get him to claim pip

If his only disability is diabetes and he’s as capable as the OP says, he won’t get it. PIP isn’t an out of work benefit, it’s paid in respect of the extra cost of living with a disability. Which clearly isn’t the case if what the OP says is true.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 20:40

InefficientProcess · 14/12/2023 20:10

He lied to her about cashing in his pension…

So he has form.

Is he seeing his work coach regularly OP?

Show quote history

Technically a pension is a type of savings. So it isn’t necessarily lying. The DH seems to have form for communicating things in a very non technical, layman, basic way.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 20:41

Robb6666 · 14/12/2023 20:29

Go for pip £691 every 4 weeks

He would not qualify for the full whack.

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 20:41

I admit I know nothing about pip but if the assessor thinks he could get a blue badge then he could be entitled.

It is diabetic neuropathy . He describes it as severe pins and needles with tremors

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 20:41

AgnesX · 14/12/2023 19:41

So presumably he's applied for ESA and it's been disallowed because of your income?

He could claim ESA on his own NI contributions in the last two years without the OP’s income affecting it. If he’s applied and been refused it suggests that he doesn’t meet eligibility thresholds, and look at what the OP says in her first post - he’s clearly not disabled to any great extent if he can do all that.

WillowTit · 14/12/2023 20:42

are you also near retirement age op?

pam290358 · 14/12/2023 20:43

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 20:41

He would not qualify for the full whack.

Show quote history

Yep, it’s nonsense. Only the most severely disabled qualify for the enhanced rates and the op’s opening post makes it clear that’s not the case here.

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 20:44

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 20:41

I admit I know nothing about pip but if the assessor thinks he could get a blue badge then he could be entitled.

It is diabetic neuropathy . He describes it as severe pins and needles with tremors

He probably qualifies for some PIP and yes it is very hard to get.

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 20:45

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 20:41

I admit I know nothing about pip but if the assessor thinks he could get a blue badge then he could be entitled.

It is diabetic neuropathy . He describes it as severe pins and needles with tremors

Blue badge and PIP are two entirely different things. If he has a walking disability he could qualify for a blue badge with a certain level of PIP mobility allowance, but if you say he potters in the garden and walks the dog for miles he won’t qualify for that.

LakieLady · 14/12/2023 20:48

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 19:35

I don't know what he said to the assessor but he could easily wfh.
I've heard horror stories about applying for pip but he should do that .
I'm thinking about getting a second/weekend job but I'm old and knackered .

Was it ESA that he's been getting? You don't normally see a "disability person" on JSA and definitely not one who can "sign you off".

If he's on ESA, he can work up to 16 hours pw as long as his earnings don't exceed £167 pw, and he won't lose any of his ESA. (He'll need to fill in a form PW1.) Add that to his ESA (£84.80 or £129.50, depending which group he's been placed in), that's £200pw. I know it's probably a hell of a lot less than he was earning, but it would help.

He must be quite unwell to have been found unfit for work. I work in welfare rights, and I've won a fair few appeals where people have been found fit for work when they plainly aren't. The number of times a client has been found unfit when I thought they shouldn't is precisely 1 in 16 years!

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 20:49

Neriah · 14/12/2023 20:18

I didn't say it was secret.
https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/news/tougher-sanctions-target-claimants-cash,-medication-and-access-to-justice
No targets? That took seconds to find. Perhaps you aren't all that senior.

Show quote history

It’s not the DWP advocating these things, it’s government. Civil service departments dance to the tune of whatever government is in power.

AgnesX · 14/12/2023 20:49

MercanDede · 14/12/2023 20:29

ESA is either contribution based or income based. If you have worked and have the NIC credits, you get contribution based ESA regardless of income for a certain period of time depending on your NIC record.

Show quote history

The OP said that he'd been on JSA previously so at some point the contribution based benefit would run out? She also didn't mention UC (although she did say they got housing benefit,)

Everybodylookstheirage · 14/12/2023 20:52

‘He spends all his time on the computer. He walks the dogs for miles, potters in the garden etc.’

Why would somebody who is capable of this need to apply for PIP, blue badge and a disability bus pass?

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 20:54

LakieLady · 14/12/2023 20:48

Was it ESA that he's been getting? You don't normally see a "disability person" on JSA and definitely not one who can "sign you off".

If he's on ESA, he can work up to 16 hours pw as long as his earnings don't exceed £167 pw, and he won't lose any of his ESA. (He'll need to fill in a form PW1.) Add that to his ESA (£84.80 or £129.50, depending which group he's been placed in), that's £200pw. I know it's probably a hell of a lot less than he was earning, but it would help.

He must be quite unwell to have been found unfit for work. I work in welfare rights, and I've won a fair few appeals where people have been found fit for work when they plainly aren't. The number of times a client has been found unfit when I thought they shouldn't is precisely 1 in 16 years!

Show quote history

I’m confused about who signed him off as unfit for work. Claimants can claim ESA at an assessment rate while waiting for a work capability assessment, and it doesn’t sound as though he’s had one - it sounds as though this was a meeting with a work coach.

bellsandwhistles333 · 14/12/2023 20:55

I would be getting angry OP he's not being fair to anyone in the family, I'm guessing your teens are the younger end and not 18/19.

Honestly I know people who are genuinely ill and work their arse off to help support their families, he needs telling straight. He needs to bring income in, however that works but it needs to happen soon.

My BIL got signed off with kidney stones and contracted hep b so was off for a period completed supported by my sister he then got very used to his television, self study and hobbies and never went back to work. She pulls 80hour weeks with 3 kids for years and is a complete carer.
He never claims due to stigma!! Extremely well educated and got 2 degrees while off but did nothing with them!

Do not end up like her please

Isit7yet · 14/12/2023 20:55

I work In disability assessment, if he is able to walk miles and utilise a computer all day he won't meet the criteria. Unless I'm missing some kind of overwhelming fatigue, but that doesn't sound likely

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 20:56

Everybodylookstheirage · 14/12/2023 20:52

‘He spends all his time on the computer. He walks the dogs for miles, potters in the garden etc.’

Why would somebody who is capable of this need to apply for PIP, blue badge and a disability bus pass?

They wouldn’t. It’s taking the mick, and DWP will bounce it in a minute if the medical evidence doesn’t fit.

Octavia64 · 14/12/2023 20:58

I actually feel quite sorry for the guy.

Diabetic neuropathy can result in complete loss of sensation in feet/hands, and complete loss of motor control. So he potentially can't feel his hands and his feet and/or can't move them.

If he's anything like me this comes and goes unexpectedly - so I might walk the 10 metres to the post box and then lose control and need to wheel back.

Severe pins and needles is pretty painful and if he has that it's really hard to concentrate on anything through it - it can be done but it's difficult.

I haven't worked full-time in years and even part time I needed a lot of adjustments and my employers called ambulances for me more than once.

He may not be as bad as I am but it still sounds like he is pretty ill.

It's not something you can ever recover from either - you just have pain for life.

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 21:00

You're all making sense. I just don't know what to do.
I don't know how bad it is. But if it's really bad he masks it really well.

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 14/12/2023 21:01

Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 19:53

I haven't seen any paperwork. I'm pushing him to apply for a blue badge/ disabled bus pass .
There was a phonecall on Sunday from an assessor but I didn't hear the conversation. He said he's been signed off as unfit to work and they'll reassess in a year.

I’d be asking for evidence. Just say you’d like to see how they’ve assessed it.

Rosscameasdoody · 14/12/2023 21:02

lesdeluges · 14/12/2023 19:59

Do assessors work on Sundays?

Ask DH for the paperwork on the decision to sign him off, and the medical reports.

That's for starters.

Yes, they do. I applied for Attendance Allowance for my mum and got a phone call from an assessor on a Sunday morning to check about night care. So it’s very possible. But I’m confused about him saying he saw someone from DWP who signed him off as unfit to work. As far as I know GP’s still issue fit notes so this doesn’t make sense. DWP normally place ESA claimants on the assessment rate until they have a work capability assessment, and it’s that which determines whether or not they are fit to work.

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 14/12/2023 21:02

He doesn't need a wheelchair or cane yet. We joke he could get a cool mobility scooter when the time comes.

OP posts:
UniversalAunt · 14/12/2023 21:06

‘…I don't ask him to do any housework or mental load.’

Why not?
You are being put upon & whilst he is deemed not to fit to work, why would he not do his share of domestic everyday tasks & uphold his share of the responsibilities of your relationship?

Maybe you have been ‘carrying’ him for some time & whilst he was busy, well & working, this may not been an issue. But things have changed: overall health, overall finances, overall sense of purpose.

Whilst you do not assert your needs & the redistribution of responsibilities, he may carry on regardless until the point where you have a permanent ick with him.

Time for some robust conversations & negotiation between you.

Lifechangesontheway · 14/12/2023 21:07

I am divorcing my husband for lots of reasons but they include some similarities to the OP. Husband who, without discussion or agreement, decided to permanently give up work and not financially support his family. He sits around the house all day not doing anything or goes out to have lunch with ex colleagues, spending money that I am working hard for. Doesn’t maintain the cleaning or DIY in the house, doesn’t cook beyond heating up convenience food and doesn’t really parent.
Ive had enough. Can’t be doing with this shit. Nobody should put up with this kind of shit. It’s a complete lack of respect.
if things don’t change OP start asking yourself why your husband thinks you should be working hard to provide him with a lazy lifestyle. He’s taking the piss.

Octavia64 · 14/12/2023 21:08

If the teenagers want money to go out with their friends tell them to get a part time job.

If the money situation is difficult talk to your Dh and find out what the situation is.
What benefits is he getting?

He may well be able to do some jobs for a limited number of hours per week - a lot depends on how well medicated he is.

I couldn't manage full-time with neuropathy but an electric wheelchair made a massive difference to my life and kept me working in person for a few years as it reduced fatigue. Can you or he speak to his consultant about the nhs wheelchair voucher?

He might be eligible for access to work funding as well.

I'm not working at the moment as I'm currently too disabled (not claiming any benefits for the bashers out there, living on savings) but I'm hoping to do some online tutoring soon.