I need to get this out, I think I know what I am going to do but welcome opinions and people’s experiences of similar situation.
will try to get as much information in one go:
Married to my DH for 12 years, have a son with moderate MH issues from previous LTR. DS is 18 and living with us.
In general, DH and DS get on ok.
No other children.
Yesterday, DS and DH had a bad argument about a relatively minor thing. DS got upset and was almost crying and said ‘mum, divorce him!’
DH got absolutely furious and said to my son that if he ever says it again, he will punch him in the face.
DH is normally a v easygoing guy, never violent although will have ocasional temper flare-ups. But yesterday he was a completely different person, I was really concerned. He also made a v cruel comment to my son referring to his MH issues. That was not in the heat of the moment. It was calculated, cruel and below the belt. DS physically recoiled from it.
DH apologised to him later but the damage has been done. Today DS didn’t go to college as was feeling down and couldn’t focus.
DH has known DS since DS was 10, knows his med history and his challenges.
We’ve had a rough couple of years after I discovered he cheated on me (escorts while on business trips), and frankly I have been thinking about divorcing him more and more as 2 years on I still feel disgusted by him. I stayed in the immediate aftermath as didn’t want to cause disturbance for DS at the time.
And I get on really well with DH’s parents who treat DS like their own grandchild despite having 7 blood grandchildren.
I am financially independent so no concerns on this side.
Also DS spends half the week with his dad so it’s not like he’s a ‘burden’ on DH.
I’m in my mid 50s, generally healthy with a good group of friends around me. I know I would be happier without DH so why can’t I just leave?