Partner strangled me

[RH90]

Hi, my partner strangled me a few times on Sunday night, he claims he’s so sorry but he really frightened me. He’s always such a lovely man to me but lately I think once he has had a drink he turns on me. We have been together for 4 years now and I don’t understand why this is happening. He really scared me Sunday night & I’ve sent him back to his parents house and asked him to leave to give me some space. Part of me wants to run for the hills but knowing what he is like normally and him promising this won’t happen again I just don’t know what to do 😔

See Gp or A and E asap, I'd ask them to take more photos and record their findings in detail on the report, including your distress.

Contact the police and helplines as posted up thread - woman's aid are also very helpful.

You could do with some real life support right now with highly trained staff besides mumsnet (though threads can be very helpful later on.)

You are in shock.

Is there a friend who could come and help you?

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Nhs info: www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

&bull;	women can call <a class="break-all" href="https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge</a>e<span class="underline"> on <a class="break-all" href="//tel:%200808%202000%20247" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">0808 2000 247</a>7</span> for free at any time, day or night. The staff will offer confidential, non-judgemental information and support
&bull;	talk to a doctor, health visitor or midwife

@RH90 why on earth is he not your EX?????

He is

You still need to change the locks, you have no idea if he had a copy made.. You also need to change passwords for everything from Netflix to Ring doorbell and email to banks.
You need to report this before he moves on to his next relationship and strangles her. You also need support. Please do not worry about ruining his life, he gave no fuck about yours.

He will do it again. Please end it with him and call the police to report the incident on Sunday asap.

Run for the hills, or live in fear of... death?

Wake up. This man almost killed you. Why don't you know what to do? You call the police and report it. This man is a danger to women. What would happen to your kids if you let this man kill you?

Please for the sake of other women in his life report it. You are safe now ( thank god) but there will be others he comes into contact with who are not.

The fact that he did this more than once is incredibly shocking!

If your daughter told you this, what would you say to her? Of course you need to leave this man and never ever take him back. Also.. ring the police so it doesn't happen to any other women x

He is lying, he WILL do it again - he is an evil bastard!!

Run, do not take him back he could of killed you!

If this was your best friend what would you tell her to do! Please listen to us - do not take him back!!

Ted Bundy
Jeffery Dahmer

now I’m not saying your bf is a serial killer but the above names are just to prove you can appear charming and lovely and not be. He strangled you a few times that’s not like oh I slipped and knocked you I best not do that again, he did it once then went back to do it a few times

RUN.

This man is a murderer in waiting. You have been brave and strong enough to throw him out and protect your life. I know you are traumatised but perhaps with help you could report him to the police, potentially saving another woman's life.

Slightly off subject but someone did similar to me on a date. I knew in that moment he was violent and dangerous. I walked away and never went back. Please do the same it’s not ok.

Now, tell one of your family or good friends and show them the photos.

You need to share, and get support from them in real life as well as words from strangers on a forum.

For goodness sake report him to the police, the next woman he does this to may not be as lucky as you OP.

I'm sorry OP, but he's way too much of a liability. Something going wrong in another woman's relationship might involve him flirting with other women online again. In your case something going involves him strangling you, and he might kill you. It's so far beyond normal - the first instance should have been enough for you split.

I'm sure someone else has pointed out that this is the number 1 men kill their partners.

I agree - he will probably go on to do this to someone else. :(

That one act of violence against you is enough to erase any and all of his nice qualities OP. Please do not give him another chance based on his history of being good. Hes shown you what he is truly capable of doing so believe him and get out of this now.

How about no excuse

Do you feel secure where you are, and that he doesn't have copies of the house keys?

Maybe leave the keys in the locks for tonight so even if he has a means to enter, he can't, and you can change the locks tomorrow. I think I would do this as a minimum, you will feel safer.

Wishing you well. This time of year especially seems to bring them out of the woodwork what with alcohol flowing and going out more often I think. Not an excuse just a reason maybe. In vino veritas.

Please get yourself checked out medically and do report him to the police. You need to do this to protect yourself.

A friend of mine had a sister, who was with a lovely man, who strangled her once.

She took him back,

The second time, it killed her.

Run. Fast,

Pleased to see you have got him out.

Change the locks.

Call and report this.

Get checked over.

Sending you love op. Stay strong

I would echo the advice to change the locks, unless they're security keys he could easily have copies still.

Please report him to the police, I would worry that once he realises that the space you've requested is permanent he maybe turn nasty.

You've already done the hard part in getting him out, don't cover for him, make sure you protect yourself.