Partner strangled me

[RH90]

Hi, my partner strangled me a few times on Sunday night, he claims he’s so sorry but he really frightened me. He’s always such a lovely man to me but lately I think once he has had a drink he turns on me. We have been together for 4 years now and I don’t understand why this is happening. He really scared me Sunday night & I’ve sent him back to his parents house and asked him to leave to give me some space. Part of me wants to run for the hills but knowing what he is like normally and him promising this won’t happen again I just don’t know what to do 😔

Can I ask, if I go to the doctor and get checked out will they then report it to the police

You must tell someone in real life to get their support and to keep you accountable in keeping him away from you & I would also suggest a call to women’s aid to really help you understand the severity of this situation. This is desperately serious. If you take him back he will kill you

I don't think they would. Please do report it to the police yourself though.

@RH90 this reminds me of alcoholic violent abuser of partner or husband says the unacceptable excuses for domestic abuse,
its the booze overcame me that's why i did that beat her up or
its cause i had bad childhood so i toke out my anger about my shit childhood onto my partner,
like it's weird type of alternative anger management human punch bag therapy.

Domestic abusive men will make up all kinds of shit pathetic excuses to gaslight ,project 🥸 disguise their motivations and flaws insecurities ect.

@RH90 what do you need to hear in order to trust your gut and get out?

I have already thrown him out, I’m on here as I just needed to get it off my chest

Being drunk does not really change people, it just releases aspects of themselves which they usually keep hidden.

Have you got any support in real life x

I think it's your last sentence that has made people a bit concerned

"Part of me wants to run for the hills but knowing what he is like normally and him promising this won’t happen again I just don’t know what to do 😔"

That read very much like you want to take him back or he could convince you he won't try to kill you again. People just want to help you.

He WILL kill you.

You've got a red eye from a popped blood vessel??
Red neck, bruises??
I say this with the utmost kindness, go to your GP or A&E and get it checked out, tell them the truth, don't even think about whether they'll report it to the police, let them, don't try to protect that monster, he could have killed you.
Don't give ruining his life another thought, this is all on him
Please get yourself checked out and tell someone, personally I think you need to report him to the police ❤️

Well done OP, don't let him back in your life whatever you do.

As pp said, you need real life support to remind you and keep you from wavering.

It doesn't matter if he behaves like a prince for 99% of the time if in that 1% he could kill or permanently disable you.

What happened is very serious and if you were my friend in real life I'd come with you to report it.

Call the police, log it as a domestic violence event, then change the locks when he was out.

Leave him. This will only escalate. Women are murdered by their partners very frequently

Get checked out with your GP and report the incident to the police; he needs to be on their radar.

Good for you for throwing him out.

The next bit is not letting him back. Which can be really hard not to do, but you need to make this the end of the relationship for good.

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/the-dangers-of-strangulation/

He is an ex partner, she threw him out immediately.
No one said its OK.
Why the angry comment about children?

Does he have keys for your home, OP? So sorry this has happened to you. Agree with others, you should really get medically checked out. I understand your worry that they’ll report it as you still feel a bond with him - and you are in shock with it seeming out of the blue.

whether they report or not is not your concern. It is vital for your physical health that you are checked. Any consequences that may arise for this man are consequences of his own actions, not yours.

I am glad you are using this forum for support. Do you have any barriers to telling anyone in real life about this too? The shame is not yours,op. You deserve real life help and support to come through this

He hasn’t keys I made him leave them when he left with his things. I have good family and friends I’m just still a bit I’m shock I think and just needed a safe space to speak openly about what happened. I appreciate everyone’s support and comments and I thank you all

In vino veritas.

My dad used to be like this, he'd flip. Mum went from him to a new relationship where the man tried to strangle her.

I'm glad you threw him out and are safe.

Also agree about getting checked medically.

Sending you hugs.

Run. My ex did this to me once and I stayed because I thought it was a one off. It destroyed me because he continued the abuse until I was too insecure to leave.

Go to A&E and get them to assess the damage. Ask them to find the copper that's always around. Tell everything.

Get his stuff out of your house - the police can supervise to make sure he behaves himself or get someone else (not you) to take it to him.

This apparently lovely man is more than capable of killing you and claiming it eas an accident. Press all the charges you can.

You need to report to police lovely, this is not ok. Non fatal strangulation is now a stand alone crime (used to fall under common assault or ABH ) and is taken extremely seriously x

OP what a shocking thing to happen, I'm so sorry 😞. Glad he is out and you are safe. Please don't take him back. Please report to the police, other women need protecting from him and he needs this on his record.

Have you seen a dr OP? If I saw a friend with those injuries I’d be insisting we go to A&E or out of hours GP to check everything is ok. I’d be worried about airways getting comprised with the swelling or damage to your neck.
Not a dr, but maybe give 111 a call for advice?