He put us on Pornhub🙈

[Xelaharas]

Fiancé and I have been together 5 years. We have our ups and down but the bedroom department is always 20/10. He went through a phase of videoing our intimate moments and I didn't have a problem with that. He mentioned to me before about making us a page but I thought he was messing around and at no point did I agree. He sent me a link today, to MY OWN PAGE on Pornhub and it's been active for over a year.
I feel absolutely violated and completely disrespected. You can't see me face in any of the video's and he uploaded at least 5. Personally, I think I look fu**ing hot in them but that's not the point. They were for us, they were private. I screamed at him over the phone and he has now taken them off, but I can't see how I can one day marry a man who basically sees me as a porn star. In one way it's flattering to know that he would rather watch me than regular porn but one of them had over 2k views and people had made (obviously) explicit comments about me. A lot of people have seen my derriere that I don't know and I really don't like that. I've told him that he better hold on to those videos because that's all he is ever going to see of me again and he's saying I'm overreacting! I've taken off my engagement ring, I'm so angry.
This isn't a conversation I can have with an actual person, without embarrassing myself.
PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME I'M NOT EXAGGERATING??

"A lot of people have seen my derriere that I don't know"

Presumably all his mates too and possibly tons more on whatever internet forum he belongs to where the guys get a kick out of this shit. He did it for status. You have been terribly used.

I think it is common for women to underplay the seriousness of these things though, and I can understand it.

There is a pressure of not looking like a hysterical woman freaking out about something insignificant.

There's an automatic guilt/ "it's my fault"/ "I did something to deserve this"

Especially when there are people even here saying that it's OK because OP didn't explicitly say no. You can understand it. She doesn't want to look like a fool or like she is over-reacting.

But OP, this is something you are well entitled to be furious about. You didn't consent to this or ask for it and it's not your fault your partner is a prick. Please think carefully about marrying him.

No way I'd marry him, and like others, I'd be talking to the police about this.

You are not overreacting at all. He's totally overstepped boundaries.

Crikey, my DH & I have our own collection of home movies for our viewing only. Sharing them online is well out of order, you don't know where they could end up

All of it disgusting. Who knows who anyone may show home videos to mates etc. Yuck get some respect!!

Yuk

The films won't just be on pornhub. They will have been shared to his friends and even his colleagues or he's given the link to the pornhub page.

When you see these men they will have seen you sweaty, naked and moaning etc.

Call the police.

Police. ASAP! If not, he will delete them.

Christ, this is so violating, I cannot believe someone who is supposed to love you would treat you this way.

And he has the nerve to say you're overreacting!

You 100% need to get out of that relationship for good, OP. Please ignore the people who are making excuses for him. This is against the law for good reason.

I think you’re under-exaggerating if that’s a thing. That is basically revenge porn. Horrific. He’s exposed you to thousands of strangers without your consent which is probably also a crime (read the Sexual Offences Act 2003). What an absolutely vile man. I’ve sent a couple of not very revealing images to men before and have nightmares about them being published online. This is far worse. This is not a man you should be anywhere near (sorry to be like this, I know the mumsnet catchphrase in these situations is LTB but serious, LTB ASAP).

Christ on a bike, the bloke is an absolute shit.
Please report this to the police. As @ChateauDuMont has said this won't be the only place he's shared it!
I feel so sorry for you 😥

Really? You still would marry a man you have a shit relationship with who shared your sex videos with the world without speaking to you and getting your Consent?

But at least you looked fucking hot? Did you not look hot in the video before it was on porn hub? Why are you acting surprised at how your body looks?

It's like people don't even our the effort into these threads anymore

If this is real, then yes, you need to leave him

Find your self respect OP!

I have no issues with porn or people videoing themselves/each other.

But this is beyond disgusting and I can’t believe you didn’t immediately dump him, let alone refuse to marry him/go to the police.

He doesn’t love you.
No man would want the world watching a women he’s in love with, having sex.

Report him to the Police and change the locks. Definitely don’t marry him.

Relationship would be over! Trust is gone. Police would be involved. This is illegal.

How many other pervs will have saved those videos that he uploaded?

Wow. I'll be honest, I tried to put the humor in because I actually can't believe it myself. I shit you not, It's 100% true. I didn't know about the recent thing in the news, I can't stand watching it.
I am absolutely fuming about the whole thing and like I said, I've taken off my engagement ring. I genuinely didn't know it's as serious of an offence as you've all stated and now I feel even worse for writing it the way I did.
I would never be able to make sure he deleted all the videos and he lost the phone that most of them were on, a few months ago.

I have never said LTB before but I am now. There is no respect nor trust.

So are you suggesting she stays with this creep out of fear of having the videos shared?

The fuck???

You need to leave him and report him to the police. This is genuinely terrifying and disturbing.

@Xelaharas there is a revenge porn helpline (I think it’s called that but can’t remember). I’d ditch this total twat and and keep checking in periodically so they can help you get all the videos taken down. I’m so sorry. It’s such a violation.

This is a MAJOR red flag and you need to take it very seriously. The fact that he gets off on strangers watching you both be intimate is really weird, but worse than that, he was happy to upload videos of you without your permission! That is absolutely crazy and insane!

OP at the very least you need to end the relationship.

He obviously doesn’t give a shit about you and the fact that you’ve not immediately dumped him, proves to him that he shouldn’t respect you.

He doesn’t love you.
He doesn’t respect you.
Show him that you have some dignity and tell him to fuck off and never speak to you ever again.

He "lost the phone".

Did he, aye?

I'm sorry, I'd be very wary of this and assume that there are more images of you or that there might be cameras in your house. You live with this man?

Get some advice from women's aid, don't change anything obvious today, don't tell him you are making plans but FFS, please, make plans and be very careful.

This man has exploited you and so you must be careful - you might think he'd never hurt you but you never thought he'd put private images online for men to masturbate to.