Before my husband and I got married and even for years after we both made it clear that we were only interested in a Monogamous union. We both agreed that we would never want to share what we have with with another party male nor female. I even asked him at one point if he ever had a threesome in his past and he said it was never something he ever wanted or was interested in trying. I know not all men have a fantasy of a threesome but some do so I was curious to know. He told me that he went to a strip club before but he didn’t see what the hype was about and was not interested in returning. We have had conversations about polygamy and my stance on it has never changed. It’s a lifestyle that just isn’t for me and I don’t like the idea of sharing my partner. It was always something we mutually agreed on.
However after over a decade together my husband all of a sudden wants me to be open to the idea of practicing polygamy, having threesomes, and going to strip clubs with him. I am completely in disbelief about this. He told me that people in marriages are allowed to change their minds about things and that the wife should just mold to whatever the husband wants and support him. He thinks me having a “sister wife” would be beneficial for me and that she could also help me around the house. In reality I believe he only wants to practice that lifestyle for his own selfish reasons and it has nothing to do with me. I told him that he knew I was monogamous before we even got married and that If he wanted to be polygamous he should have entered into a relationship with someone who shares his morals. I flat out said that if he wants to live that type of lifestyle then we need to divorce and he needs to find someone else compatible with this new person he claims to be.
I feel like I am in a bad dream. I understand people can change but he just completely did a whole 360 on me. If he was always like this why would he lie for this long and then flip the script on me like this. I don’t even know who he is anymore. I feel like he doesn’t care if I am miserable as long as he gets what he wants and is happy that is all that matters. I don’t have anything against anyone who wants to practice polygamy and have threesomes but you cannot lie about who you really are, get with someone who does not want to live a lifestyle like that, and then later on down the line try to force them to change to your beliefs. That is a horrible thing to do to someone. I feel sick, hurt, and very angry. I haven’t told anyone in my personal life because I just don’t have the courage to do so yet. He thinks I am overreacting and this is just a normal situation! I just wanted to get someone else’s opinion on this because he keeps trying to make me believe I am just acting crazy. I really don’t even know what to do at this point.