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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To mothers of sons

168 replies

lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 17:39

I am a mother to 3 adult sons. 24, 27, 30 yrs. I think my hubby gets jealous when I do things for them. E.g. 2 live away and when they visit I get super excited, and u express this in words and I may cook something I know they like etc etc He senses this and judging by his comments (digging and sarcastic) he struggles with seeing this excitement in me and seeing me doing things for them. I actually find it difficult to see his lack of excitement at them visiting. Its not like I dont do things for him btw. Any comments?

OP posts:
Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:10

I actually think MANY ppl get jealous of their own kids, many. Mothers get threatened by daughters, and fathers by sons. My hubby is not abnormal

OP posts:
itsmyp4rty · 02/12/2023 18:10

Jealous and insecure people are not great partners. He sounds very emotionally immature and down right pathetic to me. Total ick.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:11

They wouldn't admit it tho when challenged.Its the uncomfortable emotions it brings up

OP posts:
Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:11

its a bit narcissistic I guess

OP posts:
funbags3 · 02/12/2023 18:12

If you think this is normal behaviour, why ask on here?

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:12

I appreciate pols input , thank you. I will continue to get excited and I will be unapologetic about it too!! I can't wait Mohave all 3 of my sons home for xmas!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:13

If you think this is normal behaviour, why ask on here?

To hear other pals comments

OP posts:
funbags3 · 02/12/2023 18:13

You appreciate people telling you how gross this is?

itsmyp4rty · 02/12/2023 18:13

lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:10

I actually think MANY ppl get jealous of their own kids, many. Mothers get threatened by daughters, and fathers by sons. My hubby is not abnormal

Why are you so desperate to convince yourself this is normal? I can't ever imagine being jealous of any child of mine.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:13

if my hubby is behaving this way....so are others!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:14

You appreciate people telling you how gross this is?

I have more compassion for poor behaviour. Its a manifestation of emotional pain

OP posts:
funbags3 · 02/12/2023 18:15

According to you, this is normal. So of course most people get jealous of their own children.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:15

funbags3 why are you getting so triggered?

OP posts:
funbags3 · 02/12/2023 18:16

Triggered? Your post makes absolutely no sense.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:17

I disagree

OP posts:
bananabug · 02/12/2023 18:17

funbags3 · 02/12/2023 18:16

Triggered? Your post makes absolutely no sense.

I think she means why are you getting so angry

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 02/12/2023 18:17

Neither DH (as step dad since son was a toddler) or DS’s Dad have ever reacted with jealousy if I were to prioritise DS, and at DS being 31 now neither of them have foot stomping ‘mantrums’ if my son needs help!

Of course I get excited when I’m going to see DS (he’s not local), but I think DH gets just as excited since they all role play together… in fact DH and son’s Dad all game together too lol!

NuttyYouSayHmmmmmn · 02/12/2023 18:21

MrsNandortheRelentless · 02/12/2023 17:41

Your husband is a dick.

My thoughts exactly.

MaryMcI · 02/12/2023 18:22

Very weird behaviour. I am not jealous of my DD, I want her to do well and have experiences which I have not had, and do things which make her happy. She has her whole life ahead of her. It’s not normal to be jealous of your children. It’s normal to love them and want to show that you love them when they visit.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:22

How can you say someone is a dick if you dont know them?

OP posts:
MaryMcI · 02/12/2023 18:23

The behaviour you describe is dick-ish

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:23

The behaviour

I accept this

OP posts:
NuttyYouSayHmmmmmn · 02/12/2023 18:23

lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:22

How can you say someone is a dick if you dont know them?

Because of what you said in your OP.

Original poster
lovenotwar149 · 02/12/2023 18:24

The behaviour and the person are not the same imo

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 02/12/2023 18:25

Do you think he would act differently if you had daughters? I can imagine DH cooking DS his favourite meal when we get to the stage that DS has moved out and is visiting us.