If you travelled 3 hours to visit relatives ...

[Xmasgingerperson]

would you expect a biscuit with your cup of tea? I ask because we did this recently and thankfully we had taken something along as well as loads of presents.

No.

I appreciate everyone has different live experiences and preferences - but are you serious that you have never seen a plate of biscuits and find it weird that people would put out a plate of biscuits for a guest to have with coffee?

Of course he/she/they aren't serious. Unless you live in a cave and have never left it in 20/30/40yrs you would have seen other people do it even if you don't and even if you think it's 'weird'.

Some people just talk total rubbish

The OP did bring something, so nobody starved. Maybe the people OP was visiting didn’t get out their biscuits because OP already brought stuff.

You also missed out Scottish which is what I am so maybe it stems from that? You would always get food forced on you in Scotland 😂My old 97 year old Great Aunt gets out the sandwiches, cakes etc as she doesn't like to eat out now. This is the English side of the family. To be clear we weren't looking for lunch and had eaten a sandwich on the way, nor were we looking for tea or dinner. We took two boxes of Waitrose festive treats and one box was put out - 4 for 5 of us 😏and the other box didn't appear.

It was not a newborn. Far from it.

Also I would never turn up empty handed to anyone's house. If I had someone coming to visit I would have cakes, biscuits etc. To me it's just a normal thing.

Iv seen old people do it on TV and stuff and my kids put a mince pie and a carrot on a plate for santa and I put snacks in a plastic bowl for small children but I wouldn't put a biscuit on a plate for an adult as it just creates more washing up.

But I havent

@Xmasgingerperson how well do you know these people? Have you been to their house before and are you already aware of their hosting ‘style’?

If you go there once a year and only ever get offered a glass of water, I’m guessing you wouldn’t be surprised with this.

If you see them regularly and they normally do a three-course meal, I’m presuming you’d be concerned for them.

What’s the history?

Christ, some people are miserable.

‘No you can’t have a biscuit as I’ll have to give a plate a quick rinse’.

Yeah if they don't have a newborn (or other similar extenuating circs) then that's really rude hosting.

Off to google Waitrose festive treats now.

Snacks for adults don't exist you see.

We have this! I begrudged cuppa and no biscuits and the children aren’t even offered a drink!

Same. I never turn up without bringing a pack of buns for the adults and a bag of sweets for the kids.

No I'd have to leave my guest to go out to buy biscuits then come home put one on a plate then hand it to them then wash the plate, then dry the plate then put it away. Do adults really need a plate for a biscuit or even need a biscuit at all

I wouldn't offer biscuits no. I don't buy them, eat them or have them in the house. It wouldn't even occur to me. I didn't realise people were that bothered about biscuits!

I might offer to bake a camembert though!

You are welcome to pop by mine any time!
😁

@GreyCarpet if you are doing cheese then I'll bring wine! 😄

Come on @Xmasgingerperson - put us all out of our misery.

What is the back story ?

Explain to us how the conversation went when you phoned up and said "Can we call in and visit you on 26th ?" ........ "No, we aren't en-route anywhere or visiting anyone else, we are simply driving for 3 hours (then 3 hours home again) to visit you"
<At this point most of us would expect them to say> "We'll do you some lunch, what sort of time are you expecting to arrive? Will you stay for tea too or do you need to get off?"

Did you really say "No, we don't like eating with you, we'll shove a sandwich down in the car on the way" ?

Are there hygiene issue in the home or something or do you have some sort of mental health issues which mean you can't eat outside of your own home ?

You must know full well this isn't normal. Even people who are nervous of cooking would say "I'll book a table at the local pub". Nobody would knowingly accept people driving for 6 hours just to see them, without offering food in one format or another.

Tell us the backstory please.

I'm on my way! Is there anything you need from the shop while I'm there? (This is also something I do when visiting people! I'm a nice guest 🤗)

@Differentstarts it's not about "biscuits."

It's about hospitality. I have an Iranian neighbour and when I stopped by to check on her and new baby she had sliced oranges, coffee and a box of chocolates on the table.
Putting out a little snack is a warm and welcoming gesture. It shows your guest their visit means something. I'm fine if my guest doesn't take anything... but, if family, then it's weird. Maybe if you tried it you would feel differently? 🩷

Oh, now you're family! 🩷

I cook a meal to anyone who turns up! I’d offer the next door neighbours to eat with us if they were round. If it’s a meal time, and there are people present, they all get fed 🤷🏼‍♀️

it's not about "biscuits." It's about hospitality.

Exactly. I suspect it's almost universal across the world and all the varied cultures.

😂. Do you ever entertain in your home? Do relatives ever visit? Do you offer beverages?

i remember once offering my mother a mince pie out of the box and getting a lecture about not putting them on a plate for visitors😂.

you have children - when they were small did parents visit for play dates? Did you offer them something to eat to their coffee?

i assume you are at least i. Your twenties. I am trying to understand how you have this far without experiencing the most basics of social niceties.

or else you are just taking the piss😂