If you travelled 3 hours to visit relatives ...

[Xmasgingerperson]

would you expect a biscuit with your cup of tea? I ask because we did this recently and thankfully we had taken something along as well as loads of presents.

You really are overthinking this. It was as I said. There is no back story. It seems that it is quite normal for some of you not to offer guests anything. Personally I was not raised that way and to me it is simple manners and thinking about other people.

Are there hygiene issue in the home or something or do you have some sort of mental health issues which mean you can't eat outside of your own home ?

Talk about getting carried away 😂

Exactly, "biscuits" don't matter, but it's weird AF to not have anything on offer when someone has come all that way.

People visit but it's not like an occasion its just people dropping in throughout the week and il always stick the kettle on but iv only ever fed people proper meals if their here at that time or children snacks iv never given adults snacks

If you knew they were coming you could buy biscuits in advance. But don’t put yourself out for guests by having an extra plate to wash up.

If I bought a box of chocolates for visitors they'd be gone before anyone came. Chocolates and biscuits don't last long in my house, which is why I don't buy them

I'm not overthinking.

Not offering a meal to people who are spending 6 hours traveling time purely to come and see you is completely bizarre.
It is not normal behaviour.
It doesn't fit in to the category of "Newsflash, people do things differently".

But the sort of visitors I have are just close friends and family who all live within 20 minutes of my house so it's never a planned thing unless their actually coming for a meal or a takeaway

My friends would be appalled😂🤭

no salty snacks to nibble with drinks.

no cake, buns or biscuits with a cup of coffee.

parties must be pretty sparse affairs at your place😊.

in Ireland you would be the talk of the town!!

If the next door neighbour came round I’d still get out the biscuits, and I wouldn’t begrudge washing up a plate.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 If its a party I'd do a buffet. But for people I see all the time they know where the kitchen is and why their in there looking for snacks they can make me a cuppa

But I don't want to encourage people to visit its like animals you feed them once they'll never leave

Ohhhh, seems like you're here for a wind up now. Got it.💡

I lived a 5 hour train journey away from my mother for 25 years.
The children and I would hardly put our feet over the door before we were sat at the table tucking into whatever of our favourite meals she had made.
On Sundays a roast, of course, and on other days ham and parsley sauce or corned beef tart with homemade chips.
Then apple pie or jam sponge and custard.
There were always sponge cakes or iced slices in the tin.

That's how you greet people who travel to visit you.😍

As you can see my mother's language of love was definitely feeding people!

I always find that people who claim to hate hosting are the same grasping, greedy fuckers who eat you out of house & home when they visit you. My sister in law is one of these cheeky fuckers who doesn't mind eating my food, she just won't share any of hers. Mean spirited cow.

I rarely have biscuits in my house but tea and coffee are always on offer.

😂 none of these are Irish houses. My mother will offer tea coffee biscuits and cake then piously inform us after the guest have left that she didn’t eat any!!

growing up there were ‘visitor’ biscuits and cakes. No one dared touch them!!

Not everyone lives the same life as you. I have people nipping in an out all the time I'd go bankrupt buying biscuits for everyone

Not at all nobody i know offers biscuits or snacks when I visit its just not a thing

The thing is, someone popping in from next door, or round the corner (hated on MN, but normal in many people's lives) is a completely different scenario from people arranging to visit you when they have to drive hundreds of miles to get to you.
A 'pop in' takes you as they find you. An arranged visit, you then 'host', which might include going out and buying stuff you wouldn't generally 'have in'.

An arranged visit which means the visitors are taking the whole day to visit you involves the people being visited providing at least one meal, or possibly 2 meals for the people who are travelling.

I guess the "pull" towards a biological family is what drives you. You do what you gotta do for yourself and what you need/want at that time.
If you feel the need to go there, go, for yourself, if that's what you feel. Take your own biccies if you have to and just accept that's how it is😑x

I’d of arranged to have gone for lunch or to have a meal there. 6hr round trip plus four hours there is definitely worthy of more than a cuppa

Ain't that the truth, 😅

@Differentstarts

So you're so anti-social that you don't want to encourage people to visit, and yet your house is such a revolving door of visitors that you'd be bankrupt if you offered them all biscuits!?! 🤔🤣

I would have made lunch

@Differentstarts

And where do you live? Are you in the UK? Have you lived your whole life in a particularly rough area, without any civility or manners?