If you travelled 3 hours to visit relatives ...

[Xmasgingerperson]

would you expect a biscuit with your cup of tea? I ask because we did this recently and thankfully we had taken something along as well as loads of presents.

I would have offered you a sandwich or something to eat.

@Movinghouseatlast

I'm so very sorry that happened to you at such a distressing time 🌺

1pm is lunchtime.
You must have left at 10am.
Why on Earth did they not offer you anything?
I would have cooked a proper meal. Dessert and tea afterwards.

How awful of them.

I would have fed you.

My in-laws are like this. Tight as fuck and never offer you anything. I now take my own biscuits and offer them round. My FIL says what nice biscuits. I say ‘yeah Fox’s classics, I stopped and got them at the One Stop at the end of your road. Only 89p’

I find it hard to comprehend a relationship where you would drive a six hour round trip to drop off presents but don't offer proper hospitality? Sounds utterly bizarre to me. Do they not like you very much? Did they reciprocate with gifts?

What was the context ..did you phone and say 'is it OK if we deliver the presents on Sunday?' ... and they just say 'yeah OK...'.

Next year just don't bother or if you have to exchange gifts just send a voucher ...

Last Christmas some family members travelled an hour to see me. I put on a buffet of sausage rolls, salad etc and had sweets / chocolates for later. Offered alcohol too. This year I am travelling the hour to them and they are putting on all of the food.
I would always expect something and expect to offer something.

Yeah I offer drinks and meals but have never offered snacks to adults.

If I knew people were driving 3hrs to see us (and then 3hrs home the same day), I would have food ready to offer them. Even if they said they'd have lunch on the way, I would still make sure there's cake to offer them.

Well I certainly wouldn’t be doing a 6 hr round trip to bring their child gifts again

😮😮😮😮
so inhospitable, so rude, so thoughtless

I honestly think my mother would slap me if I did that to anyone.

I even make my (not so dear) mil a nice packed lunch for 3 hour train trip back after I’ve spend all weekend hosting and paying for bloody everything! when she visits because it’s basic courtesy

If I knew people where coming to my house i would at least make a meal or a little buffet to welcome them!
Some people on here saying I never have a biscuit in the house or I don’t do snacks are really missing the point!
Its really about how thoughtless and unwelcoming some people are!

I can’t believe how mean some people are.Were they brought up like this it seems believable.When you planned this trip were you offered a meal ?.I always have friends and family who travel a long way visit and have homemade soup etc at the very least at lunch time then make them sandwiches and fruit for the return journey.Mostly people stay over and have a decent breakfast before leaving.Next time Iwould post the gift and stay home and tell them why.

I'd of done a lunch. I'd of asked what you fancied and catered around that

This has happened to us before with my brother.
My SIL decided to go shopping ( with their kids ) so we didn’t see any of them
We brought a cake
My brother ate it and we made ourselves a cup of tea and just went home.

Didn't bother again after that, it’s just insulting.
My brother actually thought it was funny

if it was family I'd just ask for food.
Did you ask ?

When my family from two hours away visit at Christmas, I always put on a little spread. Just some sandwiches, bowls of crisps, olives, mini sausage rolls, a cake etc. I cannot believe they didn’t even offer you one biscuit. Did you set of at 10am? You must’ve been starving. No food until you got home at 8pm?

Assuming that we’d already discussed not having lunch I would have had a cake ready at the least.

Who are the people on this thread who don’t have biscuits in? If I didn’t have any good biscuits in and I knew there were guests coming I’d either buy it make some.

Someone I know interviewed Paul McCartney at Paul’s home. At the end of the interview Paul asked them how far they were travelling back. When they said he replied that they simply couldn’t travel that distance without and sandwich and took them into the kitchen and cut them a sandwich for the trip back!

I wouldn't drive 6 hours in one day, not anymore. I'd stay over, Premier Inn or something similar if I couldn't find a local pub/B&B.

You’ve said it was prearranged, but did they invite you or did you invite yourselves? If the latter, I’d have taken a big cake with me.

I presume you know these people quite well-what sort of hosts are they normally?

to arrive shortly after 1 but not for lunch

to drive all that way to deliver to family who you obviously visit very rarely and usually bring snacks anyway

to stay for 4 hours (what were you doing?)

all very odd for both sides

I think for visitors either way you feed than.

I am Irish and it would be unheard of to visit family and not be offered far too much food and drink - regardless of who suggested the visit.

builders always get tea and biscuits - visitors always get at least Busch it’s, buns or cakes. There is always wine and beer on offer and if you aren’t offered a cup of tea on arrival it is a buoys you are unwelcome!!!!!

No I wouldn't specifically expect biscuits - it would be nice but not something I would view as so customary that I would have expectations of it either way.

If I was there over mealtime I would probably expect something.

I'm confused by this. You arranged to arrive at 1 and say you were not expecting lunch. So you discussed lunch? In which case did your hosts expect you to have stopped for lunch or brunch on your way?
And if so, given you were leaving at 5 which is earlier than a mealtime, why would you expect to be fed?

I don't have biscuits or cake in the house and so only offer drinks, but I would cater for you over a mealtime, or would feed you at a non-mealtime IF you had discussed your plans with me and made clear you were skipping a meal to travel.

I would enquire though, and offer to cater, or to give you sandwiches to eat on your way home but only if this was brought up in advance as otherwise I'd assume you were adult enough to make your own meal arrangements.

I think it's odd of you to travel so far in one day and not make proper arrangements for food. You were only there for 4 hours, I wouldn't really expect to feed people in my home between 1pm and 5pm.

I would have asked about meal arrangements before you arrived and if you weren’t going to be eating with us I would have offered cake and/or biscuits - not saying I would have baked any of these myself but there would def have been food.

Despite the username we rarely have biscuits in unless we have been baking. Guests always get offered a brew, and food if it is near a meal time. We just don't tend to have many snacks in as a rule.