Will he break no contact with her?

[AnotherNameChange8]

Been with my partner for 4 years.
Relationship isn't all that great he's always cheated etc.
Except this time he would have what I'd class as an affair.
He met someone through his work and was seeing her daily.
Telling her he loved her, they had made plans to have a baby together in time, sleep unprotected etc. and run away together with her kids.
I know I shouldn't blame her as she didn't know anything about me.

But I hate her. And I can't hate him

It was going on for 6 months. I've had to listen to voice recordings of them having sex, seeing all their loving messagaes to one another and it just breaks me.

I made him change his job route so he doesn't see her anymore and made him change his number and email address as they'd even email each other. But I just feel like he will go back to her at some point as they was both heavily invested in to it.

He met her kids and family and the only reason he's gone no contact now and cut her off is because I found out.

She's now moved close to his new route and is bound to bump into him again at some point.
We are getting on ok and working through things we're engaged etc but I can't help but feel he will end up doing it again with her.

Just need to ask has anyone else experienced this? And they've gone back to the other woman. Even if it was just emotional or talking?

What are you doing? He loves someone else. You’re not married. You don’t mention children. This is no life. Policing his every move. Let him go for goodness sake!

Bloody hell OP. Get rid. He's not worth it. Imagine living the rest of your life like this? He's shown you what he is. Listen to him.

You need to leave this relationship!

Jesus Christ OP. Get some self esteem and boot him out.

You don't trust him. With good reason, because he's a serial cheat, but you don't trust him and never will. That's no basis for a relationship. Getting engaged is not a magic wand that means your relationship is magically good. Leave. Just leave him.

What the hell are you thinking?!

He is an absolutely worthless piece of shit. Why an earth are you still with him?

He’s always cheated, told her he loved her, made future plans to be with her and only gone no contact because you’ve forced him?!

You need to seriously consider why you would even want to be someone who shows you no respect and so blatantly has relationships with other women while supposedly in a relationship with you.

In answer to your question, when the affair and contact with ow is only stopped because you’ve forced it then yes, they will very often get back in touch.

Also, why on earth have you listened to voice recordings of them having sex?!

Don't waste your time of this f**ker! Don't get stuck in this cycle. You are worth more, need more and can't let this be your life.

Omg PLEASE do not marry this man! You need to leave, end of!

Why on earth are you staying?!

Stop putting yourself through this utter misery.

Take responsibility for yourself and leave him.

You WILL be ok 💐

There are two questions here, one for you, one for him:

1. why don’t you walk away? The man loves someone else.
2. why he doesn’t walk away. He loves - madly and deeply as it seems - someone else.

Make yourselves a favour and split. it may be painful for a while but in the end you will both feel liberated and end up with people who love you truly.

I love him. I was in abusive relationship before which resulted in me losing my children but I see them whenever I can there's no court orders. And I guess I just don't want to be alone. I know it's a joke but I love him.

She has tried to get in contact once and he told her to leave her alone. But I get it because for her it was a shock. For me I half knew he was doing it again and expected it.

When I spoke to her she even told me they'd had a row and she was going to cut him off as he'd been speaking to another girl behind her back so he'll do the same again to her I bet.

I also think he thinks about her as he still talks about previous relationships and gfs he's had from ten years back etc.
it's all a mess. We have no kids together I've been pregnant a few times but always ends in miscarriage.

But how can he love her when he's chose me. I told him it's me or her and he picked me. But in messages before when she said to him why have you been distant lately. He said he's in a shit situation and wished he met her 4 years ago ( that would of been before I came along) and it's hard but he thinks of her every minute of the day. Then they must of been okay but If he loved her so much why has he not contacted her then? And is trying to please me constantly.

I never usually say something like this.

But you foolish, foolish woman.

I am aghast you're so desperately clinging to this man, you'll accept any treatment he'll give you and HE VERY WELL KNOWS IT. HE is going to leave you one day.

No matter how much you "make him" do things.

Get some self respect and some therapy.

He is not the one. Stop harming yourself today!

Please start being diligent about contraception. You've already failed one set of children; don't compound the tragedy.

Why are you so afraid to be without a man?

he picked me
Err, did he?

He's cheated on you constantly throughout the relationship, you have tried to keep them apart, none of that has been instigated by him. And now she's on his new route.

You've made the classic mistake of thinking that because this relationship is marginally less abusive than your last one it's okay. It isn't.

You are also in an abusive relationship now.

Where is your self worth?

He hasn't chosen you, you are just easiest and have let him get away with doing what he wants. Angry at the woman instead of him. He knows he can do whatever he likes and doormat you will still be there offering him love and comfort.

I hope you find yourself one day and the veil falls from your eyes here.

Men are not worth this. Being alone is better than have someone erode and lessen you like this. This isn't love, you are some mans base camp until he finds a better easier option.

He picked you cos he knows you'll let him cheat and he doesn't want the hassle of her kids.

You need to make some good friends.

I know what your saying is true. I've also had him arrested for DV numerous times but he's more mentally and controlling abusiv.
I noticed in her photos when I found her social media she had gone from dressing very girly and sort of low cut figure hugging dresses into more covered up clothes. That's how I was and still am.
Every relationship he's been in he's cheated to get with the new woman.

Weirdly enough he had told her all of this and she had suggested adult things like therapy and seemed to be trying to actually help him sort out these issues. She knew every thing about his past, his family problems, his problems etc. about his son and exes. He'd told her the lot. Before it was just sex or messaging but this was a whole separate life he'd made.
It worries me they both have a bond due to both having ADHD also and his child and hers both have it too.
There's just to many things that set them together, that just makes me think even if it's behind my back he will see her again and it'll start again.

He loves kids. He was sometimes going to hers and just watching a movie with them all and giving the kids pocket money etc 😩

She isn’t the problem, he is. He might break no contact, he might not. I will honestly eat my radiator if he doesn’t cheat again.

Blimey. Kick him out today. Get some self respect. No man is better than a cheater. You don't need him.

You need therapy OP. Lots of it.

He is not the problem.
She is not the problem.
You are the problem.
You dont/wont accept that he has no respect for you...or any other woman.
He 'stays' because its easy.. do you cook, do his laundry, pay your way, say yes when he wants sex?
Do you demand any committment from him at all? Or are you just clinging on.. hoping that this and all the other women go away?
You will ALWAYS be third best.. after the latest women and way down the list after himself.