Husband got annoyed at shoes I was wearing to airport and said I needed to make more effort

[Mathea]

I was hoping to get some views on something that happened a couple of days ago.

My husband and I got into a taxi to go to the airport. We were off on holiday.

As soon as I got in the taxi, he looked at my shoes and got annoyed. He said 'you're not wearing those old trainers to the airport are you, why didn't you wear your new ones?'

I said I didn't because my new ones were covered in mud from a park run, and I wanted to bring trainers on holiday and may as well wear them to the airport (all the other shoes I was bringing were sandals). I said I didn't think they were that bad, although they definitely don't look new.

He got annoyed and irritated. He says 'it's important that you make an effort when you go to the airport' and that I 'don't look scruffy'.

Once we were at the airport, I questioned him about what exactly was so bad about them, and I said I thought it was weird how he was so annoyed. He said they are awful. He then started talking about how it's important to make an effort in a marriage.

On the plane, I felt quite flat and a bit upset by all this. I'm not fussed that he doesn't dig my old trainers. It was the way he got annoyed about them as we were off on holiday, and that I felt he was embarrassed by me.

I then wondered if I was being too sensitive.

Are the old trainers really so terrible? Pic attached.

Would this bother others, or would you just brush it off? Do others think, like I do, that it's weird that he got annoyed?

Thank you for the kind comments.

To those who asked - he was wearing navy blue chinos, Sketcher slip-on navy shoes, and a blue cotton top with a collar. He just looked normal.

His main issue was that my trainers are old and he thinks they look dirty (I don't think they do, and I had put them in washing machine last week).

They don't look dirty to me.

It sounds like he was trying to pick a row. Does he have form for ruining special occasions like your birthday?

Well he can jog on!

Your trainers look better than the ones I am wearing and I think mine look absolutely fine! Hope you manage to enjoy your holiday.

His main issue was that my trainers are old and he thinks they look dirty (I don't think they do, and I had put them in washing machine last week).
The point being it doesn't matter if they are dirty or not. He was trying to undermine you and make you question yourself. I own one pair of trainers. They were £9.99. They are filthy after I walked through a flood. They have frayed edges. And DH doesnt care when I wear them anywhere because it doesn't matter and he wouldn't dream of wanting to make me feel shit.

Are you the cardigan poster? It's part of the same pattern.

They don't look remotely dirty. Whichever way he doesn't sound like a particularly fun guy if this is what he is focussing on when you are about to go on holiday. He sounds like a boring twat, sorry to be blunt.

Tell him ' Did you really have to come all dressed in navy? So matchy matchy. I hate that'. Then administer kick to bollocks.

He says 'it's important that you make an effort when you go to the airport’

Why? I always save old clothes and instead of binning them, I put them aside for flights. Flights are manky, airports are manky. When I get to the other end I put the clothes in the bin. Similarly, I always take old pj’s, underwear etc on holidays and bin them to lighten the load of dirty clothes coming back. I’ve also been known to take old shoes, bin them at the end of the holiday and wear a pair of things (flip flops) back. I always thought this rather sensible. Your DH would love me🤣.

This is absolutely nothing to do with your trainers and everything to do with the state of your marriage. Something has happened and your DH is using your trainers as a way to pick a fight/start checking out.

Do not let him make you feel like shit.

Airport security don't give a fuck what shoes you're wearing.

Most people wear trainers.

Those trainers aren't even dirty or scruffy.

He's bonkers.

Both on the looking smart for security front, and on the general "not making an effort" front.

You dress casual and comfortable for travel.

There's something wrong with him.

your DH is using your trainers as a way to pick a fight/start checking out.

Yep

Find an attractive guy in the vicinity and start telling your husband how gorgeous you think he is. If he's going go negging, neg right back. Stupid bastard.

They don't look dirty or old.

And even if they did, what does it matter? You're only wearing them to travel.byoh have other shoes for the hol.

Most people wear casual comfortable clothes to travel in, and just in general.

The best case scenario here is that he's a pretensious, poke up his arse, nit picker.

Sounds like this is red flag moment.
How dare he say that to you.
Your only going on a flight.
Not meeting the king.
You should have said well I like em and I'm not changing them for you nor anyone else.
Then you should have looked him up and down and said who the F### are you..
You look a right c### in them clothes so I won't be sitting with you. So... Clear off..

Well I hope his socks and tie matched and the handkerchief in his breast pocket was pristine white. Tell him 1960 called and wants him back.

But seriously, he sounds critical and seems to enjoy being negative about you. He has a far bigger than your trainers.

I have been on many long flights. Dressing as if going to a smart office is uncomfortable on a long flight. I wear loose jeans and a long sleeved tee shirt.

They're literally fine. I don't see his problem. They don't even look old IMO.

The shoes someone wears to an airport (which is not a glamorous place) is a really weird thing to be critical about.
Is he often critical of or controlling around what you wear?

That is very clever. I'm going to start doing the same.

Your shoes look great. They do not look dirty at all. Lovely colors!

They don't look dirty at all. In fact, they look immaculate to me! I'd have assumed they were new.

This is a man with issues. He sounds very insecure. Must be a nightmare to live with.

I could not live with a a neat freak like this