Would you stop seeing him after this?

[Wouldthati]

Im 24 years old and I'm dating a man who I met on Hinge. He is really into hikes with his dog and climbs mountains every Sunday. Usually he goes up Snowdon but he will try out somewhere new each month, it's his hobby.

I'm not into anything like that, I'm not very outdoorsy and I did tell him this. I have never been up a mountain in my life. Whereas he has been doing this for about 25 years (he's 43).

We have been dating for two months and after a few dates he asked me if I'd want to go with him one Sunday but I said no, and that I really wouldn't enjoy it. However he aske me again a couple of weeks ago and I could tell he really wanted me to so I agreed because if it's important to him, I will give it a go. I was really scared and he assured me that we don't have to go to the top and we can stop whenever I've had enough.

We made a weekend of it and stayed over in Wales for a couple of nights and then went to Snowdon last Sunday. It was cold and wet and I wasn't enjoying myself. After a couple of hours I wanted to stop, I realised I'd make a mistake coming but was quite proud of myself for getting so far. I told him and he was very annoyed. He huffed and puffed and said to his dog "we'll come back next week when we can do this properly" I felt hurt because if he wanted to do it "properly" why did he invite me? He knew we weren't going to go to the top! I've never done this before, it's my first time and he's been doing it every week for years and years. He walked off in front of me down the mountain and I was quite scared and needed help to get down because the rocks were slippy because it was raining and I was scared I was going to slip. He didn't stop to help me once, just powered on in front. Every time I stopped to ask for help he shouted "just jump"

We drove home in silence. When he dropped me off, before I got out of the car he said "well, you've been disappointing" I was shocked and didn't know what to say. I just said right well I don't know what you expected when I told you it wasn't my thing, but I tried. I said I don't know when I'll next see you and he said "you'll text me in a couple of days no doubt"

I went home with tears in my eyes and I haven't messaged him since. I feel like this has really put me off him, I feel really sad and hurt. Would I be unreasonable to stop seeing him due to this? Or does he have a point in being annoyed with me? What are other people's thoughts on this?

Waay too old for you!

Great post, women close to his age see men like this chasing young women and bullying them and know. They have seen it all before. Hence the mum knew. She was once the ops age. She knew he was going to hurt the op given a chance, and he did. And quickly.

He's a dickhead who doesn't understand or care about mountain safety. And he's too old for you. Dump.

If he needs to be with someone who shares his passion and hobby so desperately, why on earth did he not take the hints you gave him when you said you wouldn't enjoy it, and called it a day then

Cause he hasn't been able to get a woman who'd put up with him, up a mountain or down.

Hiking/climbing women have clearly known well enough to stay clear from whatever he's shown them.

Well he should be disappointed in himself , risking the safety of a novice and being passive aggressive in his comments and actions.

He's a liability , bin him !

I don't know why you'd even consider seeing him again. Massive incompatibility confirmed and he was a twat to you about it. I think it was great that you even tried to get out of your comfort zone and he should have been prepared for you not to enjoy it.

I wouldn't see him again but, judging by his comment about you texting him, I would think that he isn't going to contact you anyway, which means that you don't need to do anything. Just don't contact him.

This X 100.

Men like him will always try to pitch it as jealousy.

Nah, we know what they're like and are trying to stop them predating on young, vulnerable women. Cause were were once that young woman.

I'm sure you can see both sides of sulking and placing another person in danger when things don't go their way .

Right you are then !!!

Imagine 10 years down the line with him, maybe kids, maybe wanting kids, he’s still treating you as inferior, he s still wanting to be in control of his life (not unusual) but also yours. Can you imagine 20 years down the line. ?
if you text him you’re agreeing to his rules. And the next lot of rules.
You are worthy of more love and respect.
xx

You're clearly not compatible in any way. You're young and presumably want to do fun exciting things, not climb bloody mountains with someone old enough to be your dad!
If he'd been supportive and made you feel safe then that's one thing but he was rude and horrible. Leave him to his mountains.

Your DM is absolutely right. If he’s still singly at 43 it’s because he’s an inflexible selfish bastard.

Id send him a stinker of a final message and block.

What a horrible man!

I think you've had a lucky escape, from several different angles.

be strong & don't contact the twat.

if your mum asks, just tell her she was right, he is a jerk & you can't be bothered with him.

you're only 24, plenty of available men in your own age range. You don't need to be dating jerks 20 years older than you!!

What an absolute knob. The comment about you texting him was really condescending imo, sounds like he really rates himself! I wouldn't have any contact with him again, anyone that treats you like that should be gone from your life.

This is this posters standard line across all threads

I don't know if it's a man.

i have no idea what they get out of posting on threads where clearly one person is acting unreasonably and poorly to another; and saying they can see both sides/you're both as bad as each other etc.

Something not quite right with them.

He's a prick. Block, delete, move on!

OP his comment about texting is telling. Make sure you keep good boundaries and self respect for the next relationship.

Dont ever chase men. If they’re keen they’ll come to you. Not the other way around.

I think you should tell your mum, OP. She seemed to have this man sussed. She will enjoy being right but will be livid on your behalf.

How did you meet this man? Did he approach you?

not climb bloody mountains with someone old enough to be your dad!

Lol.

Yeah, climbing rainy, soggy cold mountains in Wales as a novice, in autumn, with a bloke old enough to be your Dad (but who unfortunately has the worst personality traits a Dad could ever have) ... What fun!

Is this bloke rich ... Is that where his phenomenal arrogance comes from? (Re saying he's disappointed in you and that he'll expect a text from you in a couple of days). Does he keep getting chances with women because he's well off?

If not that, I think he must be mental.

@Wouldthati what's his story out of interest?

Does he have kids, been married? He sounds very odd to behave like that. I'm wondering if he's been single for a reason?

Thank your lucky stars you found out now and dump. I was in your position years back but went out with the bloke for a few years, very unhappily and always feeling inadequate. In the end a friend warned me that if I continued I would end up injured or dead.

What an arsehole!

If he was looking for a hiking girlfriend, there are loads of hiking groups he could join to meet likeminded people.

Or he could accept that hiking is not your thing, and decide whether that is a deal breaker for him.

What should absolutely be a deal breaker for you is the rude way he treated you.

He’s shown you who he is - believe him. (To paraphrase Maya Angelou.)

Block, delete, move on.

there are loads of hiking groups he could join to meet likeminded people.

At 43 he's probably been through them all already. And is still, unsurprisingly, single.

Sounds like a twat and control freak. He doesn't seem worth it at all, move on OP you'll find someone better and decent enough to respect your likes/dislikes.

Even better, find someone with shared/common interests.

Good luck!