Would you stop seeing him after this?

[Wouldthati]

Im 24 years old and I'm dating a man who I met on Hinge. He is really into hikes with his dog and climbs mountains every Sunday. Usually he goes up Snowdon but he will try out somewhere new each month, it's his hobby.

I'm not into anything like that, I'm not very outdoorsy and I did tell him this. I have never been up a mountain in my life. Whereas he has been doing this for about 25 years (he's 43).

We have been dating for two months and after a few dates he asked me if I'd want to go with him one Sunday but I said no, and that I really wouldn't enjoy it. However he aske me again a couple of weeks ago and I could tell he really wanted me to so I agreed because if it's important to him, I will give it a go. I was really scared and he assured me that we don't have to go to the top and we can stop whenever I've had enough.

We made a weekend of it and stayed over in Wales for a couple of nights and then went to Snowdon last Sunday. It was cold and wet and I wasn't enjoying myself. After a couple of hours I wanted to stop, I realised I'd make a mistake coming but was quite proud of myself for getting so far. I told him and he was very annoyed. He huffed and puffed and said to his dog "we'll come back next week when we can do this properly" I felt hurt because if he wanted to do it "properly" why did he invite me? He knew we weren't going to go to the top! I've never done this before, it's my first time and he's been doing it every week for years and years. He walked off in front of me down the mountain and I was quite scared and needed help to get down because the rocks were slippy because it was raining and I was scared I was going to slip. He didn't stop to help me once, just powered on in front. Every time I stopped to ask for help he shouted "just jump"

We drove home in silence. When he dropped me off, before I got out of the car he said "well, you've been disappointing" I was shocked and didn't know what to say. I just said right well I don't know what you expected when I told you it wasn't my thing, but I tried. I said I don't know when I'll next see you and he said "you'll text me in a couple of days no doubt"

I went home with tears in my eyes and I haven't messaged him since. I feel like this has really put me off him, I feel really sad and hurt. Would I be unreasonable to stop seeing him due to this? Or does he have a point in being annoyed with me? What are other people's thoughts on this?

It sounds like he's shown you his true colours OP. I usually err on the side of second chances, but I wouldn't bother with him anymore if it were me. Especially if you don't get an apology / explanation that he was having a bad day or something. If he's this rude and unpleasant so early on, it doesn't bode well for the future. You deserve better!

I didn't even catch that he's significantly older.

I thought this was shit behaviour if he was a young man, you age .... This is much worse from an older person.

I think it's clear why he's single at his age.

Block him, I don't think you're suited anyway but he's an idiot. At his age he should know you can't force people to be something they're not and it's a mug's game trying. Prob why he's trying it with much, much younger women. 43 year olds will tell him to eff off.

I love hill walking and know it was unsafe trying to persuade an inexperienced and not particularly willing Walker up Snowdon on a cold, rainy November day then ponce off ahead. You did the right thing saying when you wanted to turn back in that weather. If he had any brains he would have suggested a shorter, easier route to build your confidence. Not to mention ignoringvtou like a kid. There's a good reason this man is single.

That's not to say don't try new things, it's good to push yourself. But not because some antisocial old bloke wants you to. Nothing wrong with expanding your hobbies but no fun being dragged along.

Don't ever message him again.
It's ok to feel sad about a relationship ending.
Walking/ climbing isn't my thing either, I tried it in the Lake District, got half way up Scarfell Pike, absolutely terrifying, rain and mist, slippery as hell, seriously thought I was going fall off the edge.
It took meeting an older chap on his way up who took one look at me and said to the people I was with "she's not going to make it, take her down"
They took me down, no argument, no bad feelings and we laughed about it at the bottom especially when I said I thought I was in love with the older chap because he totally saved me.
Move on, he's not a keeper

Get rid of him.

I can understand him wanting you to try out his passion but his reaction when you say you were not enjoying it was immature and unpleasant.

He showed you his real face. Run.

Also in the future date men who are close to your own age. A 43 year old could be your father...and it is another sign that he is a creep for looking to date women half his age.

If he had any brains he would have suggested a shorter, easier route to build your confidence

Exactly.

This man is actually really dumb and irresponsible.

You just aren't suited and with an age gap of 24 to 43 there will be others things you don't gel with either , if not now then in the future.

I’m so sorry you went through this, I know how it feels.

Send him one last message laying out how unreasonable he has been and that you don’t want to see him again then block him.

I love walking up mountains especially Snowdon but even I only go when the weather is good. You were honest with him. Don’t feel bad. I don’t think he is a nice person speaking to you like he did either.

Bin him.

He is a bully and doesn't deserve you. Block

Hes shown his true colours. He's nice enough to you when you do what he wants and act how he wants.

What I find weird was when he huffed and said "we" will do it properly next weekend!

Fuck me, I didn't realise it was such an age gap.

He's old enough to be your Dad.

Unfortunately he has zero paternal instincts lol. They might have been useful up that mountain.

Is he divorced? I wonder why.

If not, it's obvious why he's not settled at 43.
He's a selfish, unreasonable, offensive ol' bachelor.

What kind of utter wanker prods someone into doing something they don’t really want to do then berates them on their first try? Let alone being a potentially dangerous activity and not even bloody helping them?

Really think about that. Would you do that? This man is AWFUL. Run and don’t look back. No wonder he’s single.

He a controlling bully OP. You know he’s one for the bin.

I can only echo what others have said. Hrs looking for a younger woman to mould and control. If you were his age, you’d have said ‘sod that I’ll be in the hotel bar waiting for you’

It’s taught you a valuable lesson re older controlling men which I hope helps you filter better going forward.

Loads of red flags with this "man"

I think it's clear why he's single - for the good of society his only relationship should be with his dog. I think one of the reasons why he dates dramatically younger women is that he thinks that he can mould them into what he wants. I'm not saying that all men are like that but too many are.

I hope that you never message this dickhead again. 💐

Exactly.

Also, you’re really unsuited, quite apart from him having been unpleasant to you on the walk/climb.

By the sound of things, you were never likely to be the type of person who enjoys it, quite apart from different fitness levels, but someone interested in you would have chosen any easy beginners’ loop walk.

He sounds like a cunt

Block and find someone better

Snowdon in November? Nah
Any mountain in November? Nah
A gentle hill walk in summer Time? Maybe.
Another date with this twat? No effing chance!!

The age difference alone is a red flag, No good can come of dating a man old enough to be your father when you’re in your early twenties.

And tat’s before we get to the point where he acted like.a prick.

I would just not message him again, but I would also look for someone your own age.

for the good of society his only relationship should be with his dog.

Lol.

Hear hear.

Thank you, I've read every single reply and it's nice to have my feelings validated and know that I'm not in the wrong. It's encouraging me to just block him and move on as well so thank you. I wanted to tell my mum but she already doesn't like him because of his age and didn't really want me to go up a mountain with him. I put it down to her just being overprotective but she obviously knew he was a red flag already. I don't want to upset her by telling her how he acted so it's nice to actually talk about it with people on here

He's a twat. He took an inexperienced hiker to snowdon in November them bitched because you couldn't get to the top. After giving it a fair go!
Tbh you should've knocked it on the head when you realised how into it he was as you were always going to be incompatible, but there is absolutely no reason to be so rude. Dump his sorry ass!

I mean I see both sides of your both daft. Why date someone with interests the complete opposite to you, why agree to go etc

Op, this whole scenario sounds like a dad dragging his unwilling daughter up a mountain because "you WILL enjoy it" and then him sulking when you didn't.

It probably looked like that too. This man is too old for you, has become too set in his ways (I am a similar age so am also quite set in my ways, as are most people I know my age). It sounds like this ended anyway when he dropped you off so don't contact him again and set your age limits lower when you get back onto OLD!