Would you stop seeing him after this?

[Wouldthati]

Im 24 years old and I'm dating a man who I met on Hinge. He is really into hikes with his dog and climbs mountains every Sunday. Usually he goes up Snowdon but he will try out somewhere new each month, it's his hobby.

I'm not into anything like that, I'm not very outdoorsy and I did tell him this. I have never been up a mountain in my life. Whereas he has been doing this for about 25 years (he's 43).

We have been dating for two months and after a few dates he asked me if I'd want to go with him one Sunday but I said no, and that I really wouldn't enjoy it. However he aske me again a couple of weeks ago and I could tell he really wanted me to so I agreed because if it's important to him, I will give it a go. I was really scared and he assured me that we don't have to go to the top and we can stop whenever I've had enough.

We made a weekend of it and stayed over in Wales for a couple of nights and then went to Snowdon last Sunday. It was cold and wet and I wasn't enjoying myself. After a couple of hours I wanted to stop, I realised I'd make a mistake coming but was quite proud of myself for getting so far. I told him and he was very annoyed. He huffed and puffed and said to his dog "we'll come back next week when we can do this properly" I felt hurt because if he wanted to do it "properly" why did he invite me? He knew we weren't going to go to the top! I've never done this before, it's my first time and he's been doing it every week for years and years. He walked off in front of me down the mountain and I was quite scared and needed help to get down because the rocks were slippy because it was raining and I was scared I was going to slip. He didn't stop to help me once, just powered on in front. Every time I stopped to ask for help he shouted "just jump"

We drove home in silence. When he dropped me off, before I got out of the car he said "well, you've been disappointing" I was shocked and didn't know what to say. I just said right well I don't know what you expected when I told you it wasn't my thing, but I tried. I said I don't know when I'll next see you and he said "you'll text me in a couple of days no doubt"

I went home with tears in my eyes and I haven't messaged him since. I feel like this has really put me off him, I feel really sad and hurt. Would I be unreasonable to stop seeing him due to this? Or does he have a point in being annoyed with me? What are other people's thoughts on this?

I think you know the answer to this already.

He sounds like a cunt. Please raise your bar. The way he behaved the whole time sounds horrible and unacceptable. Honestly you don’t need to settle for this selfish arse.

Seems to me like a strange way to behave from someone new.
He might be into climbing, you gave it a go.
If he is intolerant of that then what will he be like when he is only months into seeing you.
What you need is someone who is tolerant.
I would delete him not wait for a text or chase him.
Plenty of other men who are going to be into you.

I'm quite outdoorsy - not great with heights - but outdoorsy; and I think he is a compete and utter dick.

You weren't keen, he insisted on making you go along.

You gave it a shot, which was more open-minded and gutsy than many people would be, but you weren't comfortable...he should have accepted that with good grace, pragmatism, empathy, understanding and some manners.

He was incredibly unreasonable and rude and ass holey to further say he was "disappointed in you".

You are the one who had the right to be disappointed in him. He showed himself to be a pushy, lacking empathy, inconsiderate, rude, unpleasant, selfish character.

Taking to his dog passive aggessively.... I mean ....
Clearly the relationship with the dog is his closest to a real relationship. The dog can't talk back, follows him anywhere, has four legs to get up slopes and doesn't have the fear or risk awareness of humans. Perfect for him.

This man, being very kind, needs to find a partner through hiking/mountaineering/outdoor pursuits channels. He is not suited to an average woman.

That won't change him being a total dickhead though, she'll probably just experience that in other ways.

He's an older man trying to mould you into what he wants you to be, and he's pissed off because you're a human being with likes and dislikes of your own.

His behaviour should put you off.
You're having the correct reaction to it, well done.

Now block the fucker.

You can do a lot better than some domineering horny old goat nearly twice your age.

Thanks everyone for the messages. I dont think I will be messaging him again, I dont want to. It's really put me off him but I just wanted to post here to see other people's opinions in case I was unreasonable to even agree to this when Ive never done it before. I just trusted that he would go easy on me and help me. If it was dry weather then maybe it wouldn't have been as bad but I found myself just scared I was going to fall he entire time so after 2 hours of feeling this way I couldn't continue.

We are definitely incompatible and it would never work out. But I can't help feeling sad

He was rude and nasty and cares more about dictating hobbies than your feelings

He’s way too old for you OP and sounds like a prick. Block him.

Arsehole alert!

No don't see him again and don't text him.

43 with a 24 year old...first red flag right there. Find a young uncomplicated bloke with no baggage, not a middle aged man.

This

He put you in danger and then was presumptuous when he said that you would contact him. I would never contact him again.

I think that the 19 year age gap is enough of a red flag.

I've just realised that huge age difference. You really don't need to be with a man that age when you are so young.

You are not BU and you shouldn't even be worrying about it. Don't text him and if he texts you, block him. He was shouting 'just jump' when you needed help to scramble down a first climb on Snowdon, that he pressured you into ?? I'm angry for you OP.

Your first mistake is dating a man this much older than you. I'm sure you've heard women say that men who go after much younger women choose them because older women see through their shit.
And please don't anybody come and say well my DH is three thousand years older than me and we're fine, this poster is asking the most obvious so clearly not that mature (which is fine) but op you're so young, pervy and controlling older men will approach you.They are wrinkled and greyed but totally immature to choose a woman young enough to be their daughter. Don't date anyone over 30 at your age.

You're not invested in this man so ditch him and find someone else. He sounds very tiresome.

He's been doing this longer than you've been alive! Totally selfish miserable guy that he is. Just don't bother there's nothing wrong with you but lots wrong with the silly old goat.

OP, has it occurred to you why a man of that age is dating a much younger woman? He’s negging and trying to control you and that’s easier to do with a younger woman because see now how you’re questioning yourself. He’s a grade A dickhead and he will not change.

Dump him- unless you want a relationship of constant put downs and ignoring your own needs/wants.

I was unreasonable to even agree to this when Ive never done it before. I just trusted that he would go easy on me and help me.

You weren't unreasonable at all to agree to it. You were open minded and gutsy.

You were entirely correct in thinking/expecting that an experienced hiker (or anyone) should be prepared that a total newbie might not enjoy it or not be comfortable or only want to do part of the climb. It's no fkg joke to climb a mountain like Snowdon, even in good weather. Especially if you're not regularly hiking etc. I actually think it was irresponsible of him to expect you to, first time

He's unreasonable and selfish. He wanted to get to the top so, in spite of bringing an experienced first timer along, he got pissed off and nasty when he couldn't that day. He's selfish and unreasonable and, I'd argue, irresponsible.

He couldn't even be reasonable after he might have cooled down from any frustration he felt at not completing the climb; he was still unreasonable and rude later.

He's going to have a tough time finding a woman who wants to climb high peaks in the rain every weekend. He needs a specialist dating site.

And what happens if the relationship gets serious and there are babies; will he be putting his time-consuming hobby ahead of family responsibilities. I think probably.

Bad partner material all round.

Exactly... he isn't very nice and will never change ...

Exactly this. If he had really wanted to involve you in his hobby, he would done a different walk. I love walking, but I don't want to climb mountains on a weekly basis. Sometimes just getting out for some fresh air is enough. He has shown you he is inherently selfish and not prepared to make changes to accommodate you.

Move on and find someone of a closer age to you with similar interests.

Dump. You made the effort and didn't like it.

I would definitely dump him after his behaviour towards you, sounds like he wants to pick a glam young woman and control her into his ideal woman doing what he wants to do. He shouldn't of been so hostile towards you and was rude, don't be sad you can do better.

And please don't anybody come and say well my DH is three thousand years older than me and we're fine

Pmsl

Yeah they always crop up.

Urgh! Bin him.
Doesn't respect you.
You told him it wasn't your thing and he still pressured you to go.
Then he was rude and unkind and babyish.
Arrogant twat - "I expect you'll text me."
Prove him wrong.
And never see him again.