Would you stop seeing him after this?

[Wouldthati]

Im 24 years old and I'm dating a man who I met on Hinge. He is really into hikes with his dog and climbs mountains every Sunday. Usually he goes up Snowdon but he will try out somewhere new each month, it's his hobby.

I'm not into anything like that, I'm not very outdoorsy and I did tell him this. I have never been up a mountain in my life. Whereas he has been doing this for about 25 years (he's 43).

We have been dating for two months and after a few dates he asked me if I'd want to go with him one Sunday but I said no, and that I really wouldn't enjoy it. However he aske me again a couple of weeks ago and I could tell he really wanted me to so I agreed because if it's important to him, I will give it a go. I was really scared and he assured me that we don't have to go to the top and we can stop whenever I've had enough.

We made a weekend of it and stayed over in Wales for a couple of nights and then went to Snowdon last Sunday. It was cold and wet and I wasn't enjoying myself. After a couple of hours I wanted to stop, I realised I'd make a mistake coming but was quite proud of myself for getting so far. I told him and he was very annoyed. He huffed and puffed and said to his dog "we'll come back next week when we can do this properly" I felt hurt because if he wanted to do it "properly" why did he invite me? He knew we weren't going to go to the top! I've never done this before, it's my first time and he's been doing it every week for years and years. He walked off in front of me down the mountain and I was quite scared and needed help to get down because the rocks were slippy because it was raining and I was scared I was going to slip. He didn't stop to help me once, just powered on in front. Every time I stopped to ask for help he shouted "just jump"

We drove home in silence. When he dropped me off, before I got out of the car he said "well, you've been disappointing" I was shocked and didn't know what to say. I just said right well I don't know what you expected when I told you it wasn't my thing, but I tried. I said I don't know when I'll next see you and he said "you'll text me in a couple of days no doubt"

I went home with tears in my eyes and I haven't messaged him since. I feel like this has really put me off him, I feel really sad and hurt. Would I be unreasonable to stop seeing him due to this? Or does he have a point in being annoyed with me? What are other people's thoughts on this?

ah I see. yup gross isn't it?

Hmm.bit mean.so are women on their own unable to sustain a relationship and are they failures cos they ain't been snapped up.be careful.dont judge him for that.for other things yes

Fuck him he's a dickhead. You should have said "Yeah, I'm disappointed too. I thought you were a nice guy."

Does he do anything that you're into?

He's not worth your time, braincapacity or effort. Send him a message saying something along the lines of

"Hi, you're right I have texted you in a couple of days. You made me feel small, scared, vulnerable and put my safety at risk with your arrogant behaviour. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel like that or treat me with such disdain. Clearly we're not compatible so I wish you luck in the future."

Then block him.

What a piece of shit he is.
What he did was dangerous. Taking an inexperienced person up Snowdon in November is absolutely ridiculous.
Climbs mountains every Sunday and doesn't know the basics of safety - ie. matching the tour to the abilities of the people in the group. Turn back without whinging and moaning as soon as it becomes clear someone is struggling.
Who the fuck does he think he is? Reinhold Messner?

Never message the arrogant knob ever again. He'll be like this in all aspects of his life.
It's not a case of oh well, I tried his hobby and hated it so we can have a relationship and let him get on with it a couple of Sundays in the month. He's revealed himself to be a complete arsehole who has no consideration whatsoever for your safety.

Exactly!

You can do better

its fine to have different interests
but it’s not fine to be so rude - his bad attitude would have me running to the hills

you put yourself out for something you have no interest in
he couldn’t even be a teeny tiny bit understanding that you might not enjoy it

its a nope from me. Block delete and move on

He sounds cold and condescending and you sound a bit needy, it's better to move on now before he's had more time to drill into you what a "disappointment" you are for having the audacity of not enjoying what he does... Seriously??

Hear hear

Trust me, the nearer you get to their age and look back on people as young as you were, the fucking worse it gets.

Ain't that the truth.

I don’t see any value in placing any judgement on a relationship based on age. There are many people of the same age in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. There are people in a relationship with an age difference who are very happy. I think it’s ridiculous that this topic is what people are seeing as the problem here when the problem is that OP was treated badly by someone. Think that’s really the crux of this thread. And people should mind their own business about age gaps or anything else.

You’re 24. You’re not into his mountaineering BS. Please move on!!! Life is too short to hang out with some old dickhead! (And I’m 49 and saying he sucks!!!!) xxx

This is patently ridiculous.

People date other people with all sorts of outlooks, they try each other on for size. Many, I'm sure, see it as casual/see how it goes but if they fall head over heels and are great together will adjust their approach.

Also, a man his age should have had a brain cell and know it might be not be serious or work out with a woman young enough to be his daughter. The responsibility is on him to consider of it's worth dating her or not. I'm sure he wasn't turning down sex with a 24 yr old. He was hardly in it for love and marriage himself from the start.

Hi, you're right I have texted you in a couple of days. You made me feel small, scared, vulnerable and put my safety at risk with your arrogant behaviour. I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel like that or treat me with such disdain. Clearly we're not compatible so I wish you luck in the future."

He'll just come back with something equally condescending and arrogant and derogatory as before. He's an arrogant egotistical prick, he's not going to be pleasant or reasonable. Op was hurt before, what's the point of setting her up to be hurt more by whatever shite he comes out with. It's not worth engaging with him at all.

Oh and people like him hear the words small, vulnerable and scared and just sneer.

They don't have a magical epiphany that they're empathy-less or arrogant or selfish.

Are women men?

No.

So why would they be single for the same reasons as men.

He really sounds truly awful. Usually people are on their best behaviour when first meeting people....what WOULD he be like after being with him for five years??

The disappointing comment - he really thinks a sort of hiking sex doll, made for him and his tastes and wants, is going to fall into his lap on OLD, doesn't he?

He doesn't want a relationship with a real person. When his gf says she's not really into his hobby, he just ignores that and pushes til he gets her doing his hobby. Then when she doesn't morph into climber Barbie, the perfect climbing companion - while being made to do a Nov climb up a major mountain in Wales (possibly the only place as soggy as my home country, NI) and he doesn't get to "summit", he throws a strop, is passive aggressive and pronounces her a disappointment to her face. He doesn't want a real person. He wants an AI tailor made doll to his specification.

Which would be why he's single at his age and probably why things didn't work out with his child's mother.

This dude has to have a personality disorder of some kind. He's a dysfunctional human being.

I would hazard a guess that his idea of a 'romantic weekend away' would be a tent pitched up in a field somewhere in November, cooking beans on a primus stove and sneering at OP that 'only spoilt women' need toilet and washing facilities.

Urgh yes! Spot on. I’m imagining this like a sketch from the fast show with Paul Whitehouse playing him 😂

He put you in harm's way by allowing a novice hiker to slip and slide down a treacherous mountain track in wet conditions and refused to help when asked to do so! Just google Snowdonia mountain rescue and see the advice they give about staying safe - they'd be telling people like you to stay away.

Very pleased you got rid of the arrogant so-and-so. Even more pleased you didn't have a fall. Say nothing and keep him blocked.

Literally my worst nightmare. 🤣

Theres a few comments on this thread about the OP being too girly, a princess, feeble, a bit wet etc - well if not wanting to traipse up and down a mountain when it’s freezing cold and pissing down then I’ll hold my hands up as being a princess and proud.

Sod that for a game of soldiers. In the extremely unlikely event of me even matching with an outdoorsy type, I’ll go shopping while you’re up the mountain mate abs I’ll see you in the bar later

Theres a few comments on this thread about the OP being too girly, a princess, feeble, a bit wet etc - well if not wanting to traipse up and down a mountain when it’s freezing cold and pissing down then I’ll hold my hands up as being a princess and proud.

Yep I mean it's one thing when the weather's fine to go on a walk paced to your fitness level, but it's even more of a small number of people who enjoy hiking in the rain in November. I like to think I wouldn't try and impress a bloke by going, I'd suggest something else. But he did promise OP he'd let them stop when she felt like it, then went back on it.

@CubaLibre23

It is not patently ridiculous!

I would never date someone further than a couple of dates that I knew there was absolutely no future with which Op has admitted that she knew.

You are just wasting your time and someone else’s, you also run the risk of someone falling for you and then possibly breaking their hearts!

As soon as you know you cannot see a future with someone you should end the relationship, that is decent behaviour!!

Love it

OP said she didn't think it would be anything long lasting considering the age difference so wasn't going in as a long term relationship material I don't think.

With the age difference, if that's her type then it's up to her if she dates older guys, not anyone else's business. Same as not wanting to climb a mountain or being more outdoorsy. I wouldn't want to do that either.

The only thing relevant here is he's a knob who treated her like shit on his shoe, seemingly treats his dog better than he would her.

She should end it as she deserves better than someone like that. Leave him with his dog and beloved mountains.

Agreed. You're spending time and effort on dead ends. Will you even notice when Mr Right turns up if your head is full of 'mr right now'?