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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An accidental affair, a baby and no closure telling the wife.

276 replies

Nowayjose0 · 16/11/2023 00:31

I found out my child's father is married and cheating on said wife when I was six months pregnant he threatened me to go for custody if I apply for child support or his wife finds out.
I thought he was a good guy prior to all this.
I grew some, spoke to a lawyer, called his bluff and messaged her on Monday.
Loads of proof.
Photo's, messages the lot.
I told her about dating apps and multiple women.
They have only been married two years and I met him the month they got married.
This also wasn't the first time he had hurt her.
She thanked me for telling her anddddd blocked me.
Still has him all over her social media.
I thought I would feel better after this I am struggling to understand her reaction and feel like I am angrier than she is about it.
I'm now worried maybe she genuinely didn't want to know and I have done the wrong thing.
I'm also angry that this man has no repercussions for the hurt and anxiety he has caused.
I have no idea what this all means for my baby and what I tell him as he gets older. Do I lie. Say it was a sperm donor or what.
I'm drowning in anxiety please be kind.

OP posts:
WMSL · 17/11/2023 16:01

This may have been said already but if you don’t want to be lumbered with this dreadful man in one way or another, you’re better off just keeping his name out of things and not claiming CM. It will save you the hassle of him having “rights” and he probably won’t pursue you further. Having to share custody or even permit visits with an arse hole like this will be very difficult. Go your own way and be the best and only parent your baby needs.

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