What's stopping you dating again?

[RuhRohRaggy]

For me it's the fear of getting to the "let's meet your friends" stage and having no one to introduce them to.

Firstly, I am enjoying being single for many, many reasons.

Secondly, I am tired of dealing with misogyny and the general poor attitude that many men have toward women. It is tiresome at best and dangerous at worst.

Thirdly, I really don’t want to be deprived of my liberty, assaulted or murdered. With the way things are, the risk is just too high.

Mainly because I am mental and it's a lot to deal with but mostly because I've been so scarred by the abuse I've received in past relationships because I am mentally unwell, I can't even dare to put myself back in that situation.

All my exes that said they'd support me and were okay with it were the ones who treated me the worst. It's too hard for me to ever put myself back there.

*I haven’t given up dating yet, but similar to this, the older I get the worse men look.

Women look after themselves so much better than men do, on the whole.

For every ‘silver fox’ there’s 999 men who look like something out of The Hills Have Eyes.*

@Crushed23 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So true!!!!

I think that's the wrong phrase for the situation...

"The Beer Gutted Pickings" seems more appropriate.

Because:
"The Beer Gutted Pickings.... Wearing skinny jeans, football shirts and holding a fish..." is too long. 🤪

This is exactly what I think.
I would never ever want to live with a man again.

Lnao, @KissTheRains

This, sadly

Don’t forget the hi-viz and the police mugshot psycho stare close up selfie 🤣

1 Zero libido due to taking drugs to prevent cancer recurrence
2 Too busy to go on millions of dates with frogs before finding a prince
3 No interest in being cook/cleaner/secretary/mother (apart from mother to my actual children obviously) any more

Men's behaviour.

It really is that simple.

I tried online dating and it was truly awful: porn addicts, liars, cheaters, abusers, men with alcohol and/or drug issues and generally selfish, immature men who don't seem to be able to get their life together even in their 40s and 50s and make zero effort in relationships.

I am middle-aged and I found it really difficult to meet someone who is simply honest and kind and would add someone positive to my life.

I am happy on my own and would never want to live with someone anyway.

If I meet someone in real life then great but I am not actively looking to date.

Hopefully younger women have a better experience of dating and a wider pool of potential partners but at my age, I prefer to focus on developing my hobbies , travelling and enjoying my home, pets and life in general without having to deal with somebody's nonsense...

This thread is heartening ❤️

I have dated recently after finishing a long marriage. Met a lovely, kind man, who o saw for a while and then ended it, the experience made me realize…

I am happy in myself
my life is calm and quiet and I feel calm and quiet
i value time with my 3 dc and friends
I enjoy pleasing myself and not having to factor another adult into decision making
I feel no resentment
I can satisfy myself sexually and have a selection of great vibrators 😊
I like my life how it is, I am grateful for it and satisfied with it.
The parented I visualize in my head probably does not exist 😂 Anyone coming into it would have to be bringing A LOT to the table.

I'm dating again after a long break. I've been doing the polyamory thing (which tends to be deeply unpopular on here). I'm currently seeing two lovely men, one of whom is fairly new, the other I've been seeing for years.
The reasons that posters are giving for not dating are striking: loving independence, own bed, own home, freedom etc.
The two things are not incompatible. I have both dating and also my freedom. Neither of my partners gets to dictate my life and take over my space.
I would never, ever live with a man again and don't want to get married, but that doesn't mean I have to give them up completely.
We just do the fun stuff - yes,sex, but also dating, going out, nights in, but I also get to send them home again and my time is my own again.
Polamory isn't for everyone so I'm definitely not advocating that, but it's not an all or nothing situation.
I think people tend to be very fixed on the idea that a relationship fits a fixed format.
It doesn't. They can be very customisable and you have every right to only want to do the bits that suit you.

Because men are a pita.
And I only have a few free evenings per week and I'd rather see my friends and not be answerable to anyone.
I still have PTSD from my ex's abusive behaviour.

Polamory isn't for everyone so I'm definitely not advocating that, but it's not an all or nothing situation.

Considering you came and splurged that post on a thread about why people aren't dating, it sounds very much like you are advocating for it and trying to point out the error in other people's thinking.

If someone started a post asking,
"Why don't you like Digestive biscuits?"
Would you go on to it and write a long post about how you,
"Love dunking multiple digestives in the same cuppa until there's little bits of digestive crumbs floating on the top"

I like being single more than I like being in a relationship.
Gave up dating over 15 years ago.

Imagine you woke up one morning and decided you didn't like (hypothetically) microwaves anymore. You have had them for years but you felt like they were never really that great quality. So even though everyone else wants a microwave you're sticking to your guns and not having another one. It's not worth the cost.

A microwave megamarket opens down the road but there's no refund and only a 1/500 chance you'll buy a microwave that's good quality and makes your life easier. So a strong chance you'll end up with another shit microwave.

Would you go shopping there? Would you fuck.

That's why I don't date.

(Disclaimer. I love my microwave) 😊

I knew I would never bother again years before my exH left.

I clearly don't make good choices and am unable to identify red flags in my own relationships.

Also, disgusting habits, wet towels on floor or beds, being a handmaiden in a miriad of roles and centering them but them also centering them is not for me.

Since my marriage ended I have achieved so much, I dream of where I could be if I had left him instead of waiting for him to leave me (however necessary). He significantly held me back.

So much to love about this thread. I feel like showing my friends who think I must be sad because I'm single. I'm really not! I've got the life I want and there is no way dating would improve that, a man would only be a drain.

What everyone else said. Peace! I think most on this app are not young and have their children already though.

I think it’s sad for people who want children and as mother of three young adults I am very interested in this hyper awareness of behaviour that most people have now. So many people end up lonely and wary of the opposite sex.

I consider myself a feminist but when I chat with my daughters and son I say I hope they find a good person to build a life with by their late 20s if they want a family.

Most of my single middle aged friends say they will never date again. Men and women. These are wonderful sane, solvent, decent people. Basically, the good ones are mostly off the market!

I'm not very good at being someone's partner. I prefer myself when I'm alone.

Plus the OLD and relationships threads on here.

@BridgetJonesAsFuck

I like your microwaves..

It reminds me of:

Someone hands you a bag of Malteasers, but warns you one of them is actually a ball of turd covered in chocolate, are you eating any?

In the dating game, 99 of 100 Malteasers are turds covered in Chocolate ... And Joop... Or Old Spice.. or Lynx... 🤪

I am dating but don’t want a long term or serious relationship. I’m financially stable with a good circle of friends. I feel young for my age but men of a similar age seem so much older physically & mentally. Divorced men of my age are often so used to being married (after 20+ years) they seem to expect to be looked after. My mum hit the nail on the head when she said “all the good ones will still be married”. Old men seem to mostly be miserable and ill and I don’t want that burden.

One divorce, one long term relationship that ended last year when partner died after suffering a mental breakdown for 2 years, I can't handle any more grief. I've cried so much and just can't face losing someone else. I'm also overweight, over 50 and look like shit so not attractive enough to interest any man! I am lonely but its a small price to pay to not have to go through the end of relationship grief again.

Spent 10 years of my life with a narcissistic abusive a hole. Been split 3 years and now divorced but it's only taken until recently to realise how much trauma he caused me and how much I changed whilst with him and how much I hated myself. I'm a single mum so no time to date and I'm just happy working on finding a new amazing version of myself

You sounds amazing, please keep living your wonderful life, I am sure a worthy man will see the what a diamond you are!