What's stopping you dating again?

[RuhRohRaggy]

For me it's the fear of getting to the "let's meet your friends" stage and having no one to introduce them to.

I'm attracted to men

Because they are a scam.

Lone parent with no family or friends for childcare so it’s not a choice I can’t date. I’ve been single for 6 years and would have liked to meet someone but can’t.

I’m old, fat and ugly.

was cheated on by two different men that I thought I would marry, broke my heart so fear of going thru that again and getting hurt.

men that I’m attracted to aren’t attracted to me, fear of rejection

Second marriage ended for good 5 months ago and at the age of 46 I have retired from the world of dating / relationships. I simply cannot be arsed with it anymore, I love being completely selfish and cannot think of one good thing a man would add to my life (except a second income to the house but I will sacrifice that for my sanity).

I have hardly any time to date as a single parent.

Even if I did have time I don't fancy the guys who are out there. Men my age (late 40s) want a younger woman. I don't fancy old men who haven't looked after themselves. Decent guys are married for a reason.
I never wanted a divorce and still love my ex.

Ending up broken again, emotionally and financially. Never ever again.

@Alifestylechoice same. Even if by some miracle I fancied one again, they wouldn't fancy me! Also, penises. Silly things.

Copied from elsewhere after some dire dating experiences courtesy of OLD:

1. No compromising on my decor, choice of meal, leisure time, spending, clothing choices etc etc

1. No spending time with a partner’s friends/family in addition to my own - especially if they’re terrible!

1. Uninterrupted sleep in fresh clean linen that I have chosen. Not to mention extra space in bed

1. Freedom to do WTF I like, where I go, where i vacay, work play. No one to consider or bend myself out of shape for (recovering nice girl syndrome)

1. No extra labour in and around my home - cleaning, extra meals etc

6.No arguments or hurt feelings arising from the dynamic that often appears when you’re coupled/spending a lot of time with someone

1. Not having to be ‘on’ appearance wise. I’m not advocating anyone dresses for their partner, but to be totally at ease with one’s appearance and company = bliss

1. Not having the burden of remembering (and financing) gifts for a SO and those closest to them or attending family events where you’re expected to show face

1. Being able to be spontaneous - to last minute trips, invitations out, dates etc etc

10. Did I mention not comprising on anything - ever?

I have a really good life with lovely home, good job, good friends but I'm 3 stone overweight and can't see how any man would find that attractive. I post up to date photos on OLD and even though I get matches, the thought of meeting one in real life, fills me with terror!

I'm only on OLD in the vague hope that one day I'll stop eating cheese, lose weight, become elfin thin and meet a magical man.

I don't want to end up trapped again and have to extricate myself
I don't want to fall in love/lust and feel our of control
A lot of men I find very boring tbh

I want too, but convinced that society has conditioned most men to not particularly want women like me.
I'm a beautiful black woman. I'm kind hearted, well mannered, tall and fit, highly educated, kind, but can't seem to find a man who thinks I'm worthy of a relationship.
Last relationship with a BM was one cheating after the other. Ex kept chasing WW. He made it clear if he found a WW of higher social status who'd accept him, he'd leave me in a heartbeat. Got pregnant accidentally and hands were tied into an abortion as he said he could never accept a child from me. So, that broke me and ended staying single for years to heal.

Since then, been OLD on and off for years now and have been open to dating all kinds of men, but have realised that men just don't see women like me as first choice. On Hinge for over a year and I could count how many likes I got on one hand. Been on Bumble for 9 months now and had 2 dates where it was clear the WW men thought they were doing me a favour and spoke down on me. One explicitly told me that BM are the least preferred to be with and I'm being considered because he's found WW difficult recently.
IRL, men just don't look my way.
When I look at myself, I see a woman with a lot of love to give and a lot of openness to receive and it hurts that the men I've met see differently.

1. I haven’t seen anyone who comes anywhere near the loveliness of my late DH.
2. I’m busy with my job and my two DC, the eldest of whom is neurodiverse and needs that bit more from me.
3. 7 years and counting of lone parenting and I’m TIRED. I have high hopes of doing more of what I like with absolutely no compromise when kids are older.

I own my own home, have a settled life with my DC and a great job. I would like to meet who has similar. I tried online dating, it was not good.

I would love to have a DP, but I'm not prepared to get one just for the sake of it, and certainly not with just anyone.

Plus my DC only go to their Dad EOW (his choice), so I only really have 4 days a month to freely date. Meanwhile he has 26 days 🙄🙄🙄

I left a horrible marriage last year and I'm not planning to date for a long, long time.
The thing I'm enjoying the most about being single is going to bed whenever I like in my nice fresh bed and knowing I won't be disturbed.
I've also taken up a new hobby and been to the theatre a few times. I had totally stopped doing stuff like that when married.
I've been reading self help books too and I feel like I'm getting myself back. I'm not going to even think about dating until I'm sure I wouldn't fall back into the trap of letting my life revolve around a man to the detriment of my self.

The pure joy of knowing your day/ evening/ week/ life isn’t going to be ruined by an ‘angry man.‘ They seem to have so much angst!

Rolling around my large bed in joy almost every night AND getting amazing sleep

I forgot to mention, reading so many experiences on MN/AIBU that seem to be grim, isn't exactly hopeful.

For every ‘silver fox’ there’s 999 men who look like something out of The Hills Have Eyes.

This thread is brilliant! 😂

I don't want more kids and have a depleted sex drive due to menopause so there's really no point in me having anything to do with men and their shit any more. Never been happier or more free of stress.

Being happy.

My life is calm and drama free. I love it. Dating would ruin that.

I’ve been in two LTRs and when they ended it’s been devastating. Don’t think I can go through that again.

This thread summarises the pure joy of being a strong happy single female. Love it!

Weight matters less than we think. I am 3 stone overweight too. DH genuinely finds me attractive, even though I wasn't overweight when we met and for years afterwards. A very overweight friend of mine has just married a man who worships her; one of the best looking men I know introduced me to his long term girlfriend a while ago and she is medically obese.

There will be men out there who think you are gorgeous. And one advantage is, they are not the shallow kind who expect a women to be some skinny status symbol to boost their ego.

I saw a lovely quote.

A woman is the only species that has to date her one and only predator.

Plus I can now afford to pay someone to move furniture upstairs.

Men my age are either:
(a) fitness freaks who want me to join them in a triathlon every weekend, or go wild camping OR
(b) so unhealthy I’d be their carer in a few years’ time.

Also:

• porn obsession and subsequent unrealistic expectations
• spout off about immigrants or snowflakes or some bigoted shit I can’t be arsed with