How often does your partner make you cry?

[HarryBat]

Or put another way, how often do you cry as a result of an interaction with your partner?

I think that there is a difference between them making you cry and you crying out of frustration when you have a disagreement. If they do things that make you cry this isn't ok but if you are someone who cries when arguing because that is your nature, it might not be so much of a problem.

Never. We've been together 40 years, and he'd rather poke his own eyes out with a blunt stick than upset me to the point of tears.

I know, right? I wish I'd seen this a few years ago. I might not have doubted myself as much over my exDP.

He sounds pretty messed up/damaged tbh. How long have you been together? I’d not want to get embroiled in that/his family tbh.

Thank you. DH and I are like that.

Almost never ...

I did cry once because my partner wasn't fixing the broken bed and my back was hurting. That was probably it.

Together 4 years. Love him to bits.

Only made me cry once but that was when he was mugged and badly beaten and I was so upset.

I wouldn't be with a man who would reduce me to tears. Fuck that noise!

@HarryBat

I'm probably too emotional. But equally he can sometimes be really horrible and angry which does make me cry.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

He sounds like a narcissist whose convinced you that you’re “emotional” for reacting to his abuse. Narcissists get a power trip from upsetting their partner.

Never. Why would anyone be with someone that made them cry?

Men that behave like that are bullying/on a power trip. Leave.

At least 2 or 3 times a week, but it's usually my own fault

Not once in 35 years.

I tend to cry when I'm frustrated and don't feel heard. Which is not a way that I feel very often in my relationship.

With my abusive ex this happened every time we argued and we'd argue all the time. And yes, things like when one of us had had a bad day it would escalate into him getting angry and me crying.

He also maintained he could never cry, until I suggested that our relationship wasn't working and then the waterworks came on "look what you've made me do, I never cry and you've made me cry". It was dreadful and I felt awful. Can't even remember how long this went on for before I finally ended it.

With DH - occasionally we have arguments or discussions which are emotional for me and I cry. As others said, more in the early stages of our relationship. However, his reaction to me crying was always sympathetic and we would generally resolve the discussion anyway, it would not result in me being upset on my own. And in the last ten years only a handful of times. Probably about twice a year in the first 3 years and then the last 10 years maybe 3-4 times in total.

It's so different and I think back to the abusive situation and I'm sad for younger me that I just accepted that as normal. No it's not normal for your partner to be angry and mean, and it's not normal for them to make you cry or be unsympathetic to you crying.

I hate the "some women cry to be manipulative" thing too, it always made me feel so self conscious. I'm a cryer! When I'm emotionally distressed that's my go to reaction. I can't help it or control it and me assuming that others think it's manipulative makes me feel really self conscious about it and really difficult to have a discussion.

This is not right. And it's not your fault.

In the years we've been married and kids not once oh sorry when he proposed tears of total suprise and happiness that's the only time. Must be some argument to make you cry not good

When he's had a few and has a go at me.

I think maybe twice in 21 years.

One of those times I was pregnant so it was definitely hormonal on my part.

This thread has made me feel sad. I wish I hadn't wasted by best years on someone nor worthy of any of my tears. I have finally made the decision to leave but not told yet.
Walking out of an abusive relationship is not necessarily that simple.

Never

I cry every easily, and we’ve had a few occasions where I’ve cried as a result of something he said or did, but he has always responded with love and kindness to work it out.

never, not any more, not for a long time

It depends how easily an individual cries. All the people saying never, does that mean you don't argue with your partner?

Once or twice perhaps in the early days (last century) before I had him properly trained. We last argued in 2003.

after making love 😂😂😂

Never? Maybe twice in 14-15 years at a push. When we’ve had a disagreement and I didn’t feel listened to. And I cried due to frustration.

No it's not simple. What a brilliant decision you have made. It's been 14 years for me and life has just been getting better and better.

I forgot to add in my comparison above but when I was with my abusive ex I used to cry about 2-3 times per week. I wasn't far out of my teens, where I used to cry a lot (hormones, friend drama, not fitting in) and I just thought it was normal.

I think I've cried about twice in the last year, and one was grief for a much loved and very young relative. The other was when DH accidentally reminded me of the worst thing he has ever done - about ten years ago, he accidentally disposed of a box which had my childhood teddy in it. It still upsets me, but it was an accident. And I had the thought that - if that's the worst thing he's ever done that is pretty mild in the scheme of things.

I could not even begin to list all of the ways that my ex made me cry.