How often does your partner make you cry?

[HarryBat]

Or put another way, how often do you cry as a result of an interaction with your partner?

In bad relationships, yes, I’ve had some like that in the past. Then I had years of therapy to work out why I kept finding myself with people who didn’t meet my needs. In my current relationship of an admittedly short 2 years he’s never made me cry and we haven’t had any arguments. Small disagreements were we’ve mildly irritated each other, yes, but even those I can count on one hand and we talked them through and resolved them pretty quickly.

Happened to me a couple of weeks ago, actually. I had the temerity to say that I wouldn't dream of going on holiday without DH, and vice versa, and that we'd both feel lonely without the other.

@HarryBat it's not a good idea to trust your emotional judgement when you are extremely tired. Sleep 8 hours then think about how you feel about the interaction.

Never, unless when he proposed..

This thread is eye opening for me as well. I am not a crier by nature, but probably once every two weeks. I guess I also hadn't thought through that it's not normal.

But I do think how much you cry in general is relevant?

He never makes me cry. I do cry occasionally during arguments but I'm very sensitive and tbh it's not really his fault usually!

I had an ex who made me cry often with his abusive behaviour.

In my mind crying as a result of an argument means:

1. You’re dealing with a nasty person who’s really hurt you.
2. You have problems regulating your emotions.
3. You’re manipulative and using crying to shut the conversation down.
4. The reason I would be crying- it’s the better option to fighting them.

I have never had a relationship that’s made me cry.

@AmazingSnakeHead yeah I think how emotional you are and how often you cry generally is a big factor here.
It's not just a matter of them making you cry.. like for me I had pnd and also I struggle with very bad pms snd also generally I'm aware that I can be a bit much. I really can, it's not him. Altho he has his own flaws as everyone does.
So I've cried kinda due to our interactions but also just because of me winding myself up.
I think the real tell of a relationship is how you work thru issues together and how you communicate generally rather than how often you might cry.

In 36 years.
Never

Probably a couple / few times a week. I’m shocked at the responses.

It would only be once.

I hope you're okay.

Every two months. When he buggers off back to sea.

@HarryBat
lately it’s been after arguments which has been weekly.
awful place to be. We’ve talked about it and realised what our problems are and what needs to change or we’re going our separate ways. We’re working on it and things are much better.
before this it was quite rare. Sounds like you have problems that need addressing.

hang on, he is still alive after that? you are a Saint...

Never from an interaction. I wouldn’t be with someone who thought it was ok to treat me so badly I actually cried.

Mine is a strong, brave, quiet man. The only time he brought me tears to was when we were with his dying father. My DP had gone to the bathroom but he’d left the door ajar and as I passed I could see him holding tight on to the sink - his shoulders shaking. In the reflection of the mirror I could see him weeping silently. It moved me to tears. That the only time my DP has ever made me cry.

If you are with someone who does not bring joy and light into your life, leave. Life is too short and too precious to waste it on someone who isn’t worth it.

We both cry regularly - we are very sensitive people and tears flow when we are overwhelmed or when we talk about heavy / emotional subjects. It's not really a manipulation tactic of either party, just the way we are when we get stressed. We have a happy and stable relationship where we allow space for all the emotions.
Crying with anger or frustration with each other? That only happened once, when he said sth he didn't realise was insensitive.

Never.

Pisses me off, but not capable of making me cry.

Never, not even once. We've been together for 35 years.

once a week

that…does sound codependent though. You can be in a happy relationship without needing to be joined at the hip

There were ups and downs when we were first together/living together in our teens.

Since then (15 years ish) maybe twice? Once I was pregnant and being irrational,the other during an argument

Well, I go to my family in Lancs a few times a year for a day or two, and I have my drawing and French classes, and Pilates, and he has his IT and other interests including railways, so we're not in each other's pockets, but we are very happy with each other, and that seems to annoy some people. TBH 'co-dependent' sounds like a sneer.

Probably about half a dozen times in 18 years. Only about three of those were a big deal though.

This thread has really opened my eyes. Lots of you are very fortunate.