How often does your partner make you cry?

[HarryBat]

Or put another way, how often do you cry as a result of an interaction with your partner?

Ah good, at least it isn't just me 😅 there was also the time I sent him to the shop and asked him to buy me, very specifically, a Galaxy Ripple. Having learnt from the aforementioned not getting multiple issue he bought a pack of them. I sobbed they weren't Cadbury Wispa's 😂

Whenever a big life changing decision happens and I get emotional. He hates it when I cry so usually isn’t the cause (never directly anyway).

I did have an ex where we would argue every other time we say each other. Lots of tears.

At least once a week with my ex

Never ever

This is couple goals! Glad it's achievable

I think if you have to ask Mumsnet it's probably too often for you, and is probably a result of some nastiness rather than a normal argument?

I cry almost every time we argue, which is probably twice a year. But he doesn't 'make me cry', I just hate confrontation even when it's necessary to work through something and the tears are a release for me rather than a result of something he's said or done.

Hope that makes sense .

Please download and read Lundy Bancroft’s book Why Does He Do That? (Read discreetly - Apple Books or kindle app).

I had a partner who couldn’t cry, he was lovely all the time - except when he was making me cry (daily). It wasn’t his fault of course - I was too emotional, fragile, paranoid, crazy, had too much baggage etc etc

its not you OP - it’s him. Read the book and get your mind back.

At the moment nearly every day, but we’re going through a break/break-up and I am mourning the relationship (which was wonderful).

Never.

Never in 24 years together.

and don’t think I’ve ever made him cry either!

What prompted me to ask this today was that I had had a really hard day (work, tiredness etc), which I was talking to him about and he was being very nice. Then we both said things the other one didn't like and now I'm upset and feeling even worse. I just thought, shouldn't he be the one to make me feel better after a hard day? Not worse?

I know it's miscommunication and tiredness. We didn't even argue. I don't know what to think.

3 times in 11 months. But in a love him and I was so full of emotion I didn't know what else to do I cry at anything tbh so I'm not that surprised

Not often, and not for a long time, we have been together since we were teenagers so perhaps a few times back then and I him to be fair.

Never in 27 years ! Why ?

There have been more than a few happy tears from thoughtful actions or presents

There have also been a few hormonal tears including crying as I woke up from a dream and he had died in my dream and I was upset he wasn’t taking my upset seriously so I cried some more. So he hugged me a lot whilst trying not to laugh. Every now and then my hormones go nuts any random thing can make me cry including DH coming home with some shopping or not having a car crash or anything I watch on tv or him just making me a cup of tea.

There hasn’t been any genuinely sad tears that I can recall.

My ex was totally different and there were so many sad tears and no happy tears

He’s never made me cry, other than with laughter. (13 year relationship)

This doesn’t sound good OP.

If you aren't really unhappy with your partner, on Mumsnet you get called 'smug' or 'co-dependent'.

@HarryBat if it is just miscommunication then let it go. If you are otherwise happy and he is respectful let it go. If it's part of a pattern of negging, abusive, gaslighting behaviour and you can not be vulnerable with him then that's different.

Never, he is the kindest man ever, been together over 10 years.

I am really sorry to hear this.

I hope you can find a way to break out of it. Maybe start a separate thread?

crying as I woke up from a dream and he had died in my dream and I was upset he wasn’t taking my upset seriously so I cried some more. So he hugged me a lot whilst trying not to laugh.

@Dashel I could have written this, this is the exact sort of thing dh and I would do!

Erm, I don’t think you do you know..

So fuckin sorry you go through this💐

I cry very easily, especially premenstrually, so I probably once a month I cry during or after a tricky or emotional conversation, but I always say as soon as I start that it’s ‘not serious crying’! I do sometimes ‘serious cry’ from frustration that he’s not very good at talking about feelings, but he’s not nasty just can get overwhelmed. So while we’ve had some big stuff to deal with these past few months I have cried a few times. It’s not great, but it’s okay I think. I wouldn’t want to get stuck in that dynamic for months or years, but I don’t think an occasional cry while mostly muddling through as best we can together is a huge sign that anything is wrong (other than pretty big external stresses). I’m jealous of the people who have cried once in twenty years because I have nowhere to go if I really need a cry, other than to say ‘this is serious crying this time’ which would kind of undermine it! And because i’d rather be stoic..

How did it go from talking to him about work and him being really nice, to both of you saying things the other didn’t like?

What was the conversation?

This relationship sounds pretty toxic tbh.