How often does your partner make you cry?

[HarryBat]

Or put another way, how often do you cry as a result of an interaction with your partner?

I don't think I've ever cried because of an interaction with my husband? We've been together for 12 years.

If you'd asked me about my ex husband, on the other hand... and that's why he's an ex.

However, I have a family member who has frequent, screaming arguments with her partner and she tells me it’s because they have a fiery, passionate relationship unlike my very boring one clearly. All sounds a bit too exhausting to me.

Yeah sounds exhausting to me too! And them somehow implying that more arguments is a sign of more passion...?!

I had an ex who I was constantly arguing with and he was not good in bed either. More arguments does not a passion make

He can't cry. I've never seen him cry. Even when really upset, he physically can't cry. He often says he wishes he could, for the release.
I'm sure there are issues from his childhood. And not being able to cry means he sometimes manifests feelings as anger instead.

This is really opening my eyes. Very few partners have “made” me cry but I’ve definitely been in relationships where I’ve got upset at a situation or person or conversation, sometimes frequently. I didn’t settle for any of them though

I’ve cried laughing more times in our 24 years together than I’ve cried through sadness etc.

If it was the other way round we wouldn’t have made it to 24 years!

He's not lovely though is he? Come on now.

Never really!

Maybe once a year?

It was daily. Took me a while to realise that I wasn't the problem. Left him and have hardly cried since.

Maybe two or three times in over 40 years and I would say in those cases it wasn't necessarily my husband making me cry. Arguments are generally short lived and not serious enough to make either of us cry.

I'm so sorry. I used to literally fantasise about my ex husband's funeral. I feel horrible thinking about that now obviously, but I managed to get away. I really really hope you can too.

I think twice in 25 years .

I can think of 2 times in 10 years he's upset me enough for me to cry. And both of those times me crying led to an immediate end of arguement and him crying because he'd upset me!

I've cried several more times when pregnant (for example the time I wanted a chocolate bar and he got me a chocolate bar ... then the chocolate bar was gone so I no longer had a chocolate bar so I cried because he hadn't had the common sense to get 2 😅) and a few times had a cry when he's done something so lovely I've gotten a little emotional. But almost never upsets me.

This thread has made me feel physically ill. All the time, all the bloody time. I am an emotional wreck tbf. I have spent the evening crying.

I cry as a result of our interactions occasionally but I don't think he's always responsible... my mental health can be up and down. When I am pregnant I also cry at the drop of a hat.
I think probably there have been a few times in 10 years where I've cried and I think yes it was because he was being such a dick. There's been other times I've cried but it's due to me being a bit unstable and going thru other life stuff and just being massively oversensitive about something he'd said or done.
Tbf we've had a time of it. In our 10 year marriage we've had lots of extremely stressful external events occur. It's not been easy. We've generally been kind to each other and worked together but there has been occasions when our interactions haven't been healthy.

"Really angry and horrible" even just now and again, is not someone who is "lovely". I'm sorry.

In fact, I'd say that as a rule, DH and I make an effort even when we're having a blazing row, not to say or do things that cross lines. One of the things I have found it difficult to understand about SIL and exBIL is how vicious their arguments were (and are) and then they seem to just carry on. I could not come back from that sort of thing, so I don't say it and neither does DH.

Properly? No never

When I was pregnant?
Yes, but all stupid reasons like not spreading the Nutella on my toast like I imagined or limiting me to sending him to the shop once per night

I’ve cried a fair few times. But the important point is that any real upset has always come from us working through communication issues and challenging our own shit to build a stronger relationship. And that’s hard graft. Opening up, ownership, accountability, honest communication - this stuff is hard for some and for me it makes me emotional. So yes I’ve cried within our relationship over the years. But always as part and parcel of us growing and learning.

How often has my partner made me cry through purposeful cruelty, harsh words, hurtful behaviour - never.

6 years together and I don't think he has ever made me cry sad tears. I am a total cry baby as well but I don't think she's ever caused them.

My ex did every 5 minutes though including on both of my birthdays that we were together. It was really unhealthy

Haha I'm heavily pregnant atm and can relate to this

Probably about twice in 20 years, but he has pissed me off much more than that, I just don't cry easily.

Occasionally, maybe twice a year but I never let him see me cry and it’s tears of frustration because he can be really difficult to communicate with and sometimes I just can’t stand it.

OK so he ‘can’t’ Cry but he CAN and Does make you cry.

hmmmmmmmm doesn’t sound great to me, sounds like he is upsetting you to get out his emotions.

Can you get some space from this / talking to a friend / calling the Samaritans / getting some counselling?

does he often ‘accidentally’ hurt you or break your stuff ?

Gosh I'm sorry, please escape him if you can

He has never made me cry, not once in 12 years. And he’s never been ‘horrible and angry’ either.