How often does your partner make you cry?

[HarryBat]

Or put another way, how often do you cry as a result of an interaction with your partner?

And he didn’t make me cry so much as I cried when we had an argument.

Married 25 years and never.

During an argument? Twice in 25 years.

Crying quietly in the lounge when he’s in gone to bed upstairs, because he’s a grumpy git and being married to him is so lonely and I should have married someone kinder and more fun? Errrrr about 3 times a month, with more on holiday because of the disappointment factor.

Two or three times, over ridiculous things, once as I was pregnant and I’d vacuumed and he brought his muddy boots in the house and the other time because I’m perimenopausal and I don’t know what he did to be honest!

No one can ‘make’ you do anything unless you’re in a life threatening situation, your reaction to something someone does is your reaction

never! why would u be with someone who made you cry (I am assuming thats why you are asking!)

When you row, does your husband call you names or swear OP? What is it that brings on the tears? Just the emotion of the situation or things he a says and does?

Never. Married 43 years. We don't really argue. Home together all day now, so we get on each other's nerves a bit at times and tell each other to F off, but it's very quickly (minutes) forgotten about. He's my rock and best friend, and I am his.

Something must have prompted you to post. If you thought it was normal you wouldn't be asking, would you?

My husband and I argue pretty regularly and I'm a tearful person but he very rarely makes me cry. He has done but never intentionally.

Sure, sometimes. But definitely not often and I can honestly the few times it's happened, have been at times when our relationship was at its hardest - when the DC were tiny and we were tired and stressed or when we had some tough times during Covid. As a rule, crying because of an argument with DH has been a sign of something really wrong, and has been a wake up to the fact that maybe things were not in a good place.

No I don't think that is normal. I would be more likely to cry when he has done something really kind.

I used to cry a lot until the first time I made him cry. That’s the thing with verbal abusers they can never take what they dish out. Now he knows I’m strong enough to put him in his place he doesn’t try to upset me

1-2 times in 24 years.

I'm probably too emotional. But equally he can sometimes be really horrible and angry which does make me cry.
Rest of the time he's lovely!

Bad tears, never. Good tears, a fairly regular basis, but everything and anything makes me cry.

This. Talking about passed MIL or similar, a few times. Angry/upset crying, can't remember the last time.

That’s really sad. I hope you manage to find better x

Can you give an example?

Have you ever made him cry OP?

So sorry you're going through this. Xx

I'm a proper cryer and I cry at a pin drop. I must have cried at work a hundred times. Friends have made me cry, my family have made me cry, even my in laws have made me cry.

My dh, basically never, I possibly remember one or two times I've cried due to an argument with him but that's one or two times in over 10y.

He's cheered me up from crying about other stuff (work, health, parenting, friendships) about 500 times though. Not even exaggerating I don't think, that's about the order of magnitude, approx once a week in over ten years.

You choose who to get married to, so might as well choose someone who doesn't make you cry...!

It's really not normal to have arguments that often, and such big ones.

Well, I don't know what is normal and what isn't but it's certainly not necessary.

I don’t think it’s normal in a healthy relationship to have arguments that escalate to tears of frustration on a frequent basis.

I think it’s normal to get pissed off with each other but in an eyeroll and “oh for fucks sake, he didn’t put the bins to the front so they haven’t been emptied” kind of way. However, I have a family member who has frequent, screaming arguments with her partner and she tells me it’s because they have a fiery, passionate relationship unlike my very boring one clearly. All sounds a bit too exhausting to me.

I think it's almost more worrying if you stop crying because you become numb and cold and indifferent to it.