No real point to this. Got text meant for golden child sister

[Narcfamilies]

Been very LC with my family for a few years now. Mother is narcissistic and I was horrendously abused as a child teen and young adult emotionally financially and physically. One sibling golden child other just a bystander / tool when needed . Mother and sister managed to maintain a perfect public image to this day so I don’t see wider family / family friends.

When I got out I was just very low contact. So I basically send texts on special occasions or other rare times (so maybe 3/4 times a year)

I had text my mother last week as it was her 75mg birthday. She never even bothers to send my dc birthday cards but I thought it’s her 75th it won’t hurt . I text ‘Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day. Hope you’ve been well we are all good kids well and happy etc etc’

shes not the best with tech and i got a message back almost immediately with a screenshot saying ‘She’s sent this don’t worry I won’t reply just letting you know she sent it first I haven’t started it just like you said. She won’t be able to say or prove we had any kind of relationship / contact so don’t worry about that. I won’t mention the kids as I know yours are the priority. Will keep you updated xxxx’
its not that I’m hurt I’m just pissed off and can’t understand why they act like this !

And why the comment about proving any kind of relationship??! I don’t want to do that makes no sense

Just frustrated that they carry this on

I'd be tempted to reply saying "I didn't get the chance to read your message before it was deleted. What did it say?"

Let her dig a deeper hole for herself.

This!

I’m so sorry OP they sound truly awful and you deserve a better family. I’m glad that you’ve escaped and have taken the high road. The cycle of abuse has stopped with you and you’ve created your own happy family I’m sure x

Just a thought. Has anyone died recently that may possibly included you or your children in their will?
Could your mum and sister be claiming that you are no longer known to them?
The wording does seem odd. If your mum is making a will she would have had advice from a solicitor ( hopefully) and would need no need to worry about you contesting her will as a result.

It is possible that if a relative has left you money but you cannot be found the money goes to beneficiaries that have been found.

👌

Well at least you’ll never need to be her carer or worry about how care home fee’s will eat away at your inheritance!!!

Agree.
This definitely sounds like it’s inheritance related.
So you can’t object to the will as your sister will claim you have no contact.

Id keep texting and save all the texts. Lots about what you’re up to, pictures etc. The full monty.

Agree with this.
Although I wouldn’t mention the inheritance issue, just jump straight to the coercing.

I don't have very close experience of narcissism but I would be tempted to send the screenshot back to her with a lone thumbs up emoji. So ambiguous, potentially innocuous, and yet so strangely powerful in its ability to annoy!

This.

Similar situation here. Almost to the letter @Narcfamilies

I strongly suspect this is mind-games from them. Them wanting you to react to their behaviour and then pull you up on it - textbook gaslighting.

You are LC already…time to go NC 💐

My mother is similar. Going NC was best thing I ever did.

Bear in mind that if you are NC with the bitch, you can’t be held accountable for any funeral costs. Leave them behind.

look at the Stately Homes thread in Relationships for support.

Yep, you literally are doomed to ‘never win’ against a narc. They categorically ‘win’ every single situation, regardless as to what it is and how demonic it is.

I’m so sorry to read this. You being the bigger, kinder person you are sent a lovely message and still somehow receive abuse, even if indirect. What truly awful people they are cold callous horrible. You are much better off without them in your life. Hold onto those that are worthy of having someone like you in their lives x

Golden child always lets them down at the end though. I’ve seen it several times.

Well you already know this but your mum and sister are utter cunts. I'm so sorry for the hurt they've undoubtedly caused you.

I would also let them know you've received it, and I would forward it to family members too.

I can't imagine what kind of mother would treat her own child like that, but the workings of some people's minds are a complete mystery to me. If your sister is a complete narcissist, and it sounds like she is, then she'll have spent years grooming and manipulating your mum - but that's not an excuse as your mum has allowed herself to be groomed and manipulated. I do empathise, I've also had my share of disfunctional family shit!

Yes, parents often do seem to give the Golden Child title to the one who least deserves it. Same in my family. It's all a bit King Lear.

What a bunch of pricks. I’d loved to have seen the panic in her face when she realised she’d sent it to you my mistake, her heart must have dropped.
its 100% to do with the will, I bet they discuss often how you’re cut off and how all the money will go to your Sis, your sis must worry constantly about you swooping in to contest it. Urgh. Best thing you can do is go total NC and live your life and don’t look back.

They may not understand this though - as I've found people can have some really strange and entrenched views about inheritance than 10 minutes google would show are wrong.

Going NC it's probably mentally best now - just don't play the games.

I think going no contact is the best advice here.

if I was feeling pretty though I would post it to wider relatives saying that this is part of why you are no contact but you still want your mum to be okay and this does look a bit like elder abuse and can they keep and eye out for her.…

People often think they know how something works without talking to a solicitor. Take the PP who suggested going to "the reading of the will" like that is something that actually happens outside of a Miss Marple story. (It used to be a thing but not really for the last 70 years).

You definitely can contest in England. We are in England too.

I don't know what grounds you would be able to contest on (you would need to seek advice but possibly under 'coercion') but in our case the solicitors said it would be under 'reasonable financial provision'.

If you don't want to thats obviously fine to people are just saying you could. You could also just cut ties, receive nothing and live an easier life without toxicity.

Yes but her death may not be imminent.she might live another 20 years tho I know mumsnet think everyone over 50 is senile

Send back the screenshot, state that she is pathetic, block and move on.

Sorry, some people don’t deserve children (or in this case phones as well….).

send her the screenshot back and say "whatever you need a proof of no contact for...im keeping this for a record" ruin her day, be petty!

That’s disgusting I’m so sorry you have her as a mother.
Poor you I bet you’re fabulous 💐

Someone's probably already said this but based on the text she sent you could reasonably argue that your sister has unduly influenced her regarding the inheritance..

They're a bunch of cunts OP. Hugs to you x