@Laura401 you say you are not naive and yet everything you say and believe is based heavily on your emotions. You're a romantic, an idealist, and you have a strong belief in fate and destiny. My jaw was on the floor when you said this:
"The qualities I believe he has, what we both bring to our relationship, how he makes me feel, how safe I have actually felt with him. You can't fake these things, I don't believe."
These things are faked by every romance scammer, ever. This is hopelessly naive. You're an ideal target.
You think everyone is just looking down on your because we're all boring and conventional and we wouldn't understand your superior and liberated worldview. But we're are all just tired of hearing these terrible stories and know the outcome is misery and loss for you and want to stop you and your children being hurt.
You asked for examples of where it has worked out, you haven't received any that are similar to your situation because successful relationships like yours are as rare as hen's teeth.
As a polite, educated and professional man, your lover would objectively be considered a huge catch in any country, but especially in Morocco where most people marry and have children quite young. To be such an eligible bachelor and still single at 28 is highly unlikely. (And you're unlikely to be his first Western girlfriend)
It's all very well to be saying "to hell with convention" but the reality is he comes from a culture where:
- Women over 30 (and even younger) are seen as over the hill
- Divorced women are seen as used up
- This post would probably be deleted if I accurately described how many see white Western women.
Even if he and his family personally don't believe any of those things, it would still be incredibly hard for them to be open and proud about having a relationship with someone like you, who would very much be considered not good enough for him.
One thing that is not looked down on is scamming/using/exploiting white western women. They would see it as entirely your fault for being such a sex-driven Western hussy that you fell for it. Also, resentment from their perception that we are all rich while their whole country unfairly struggles.
You know that a relationship such as yours would be judged even in our culture, and that would be magnified 100-fold over there. Therefore, if his family, neighbours, friends, colleagues and associates have not mentioned any concerns AT ALL, then they all know the score: you're being scammed, and to them, it is entirely your own fault and your toyboy is entitled to do it so long as you're mug enough to fall for it. Good for him, they think, and they're happy to go along with it - they're probably already benefitting from the £200/day work you sometimes pay him - equivalent to about 6 weeks average salary.
He has already benefitted financially from you: getting work, getting paid a UK rate, and getting work contacts and UK clients. Also he has already successfully made you feel indebted to him, laying the groundwork for future "family emergency" emotional begging, or future work collaborations where you give him a leg up. Or even requests to go into business with him.
ALL of these are routes into you being exploited.
"My gut is telling me that life is crazy because sometimes you meet someone that you are meant to meet - and we would never have met - it was one of those weird things - spur of the moment holiday for me, he had missed a train home whole visiting friends in another city and i was waiting for a bus, and we sat in the same cafe and just got talking..something clicked.my gut says this is for real. I'm no fool and I'm not naieve. We have a crazy connection"
Good lord, get your head out of the clouds. These mundane meetings happen all day, everyday, to most urban people, all over the world.
Look, you're a successful businesswoman, you're a mother of 3 and you speak another language: you are an accomplished individual but you're got a massive, massive Achilles heel in your judgement in men. Stop believing in fairytales.