Help me understand what I’m seeing (H’s behaviour related).

[FrogFighter]

Together for 24 years. Married for 20. DS 15 and DD 19.

he left 6 weeks ago.

saw his rented house today.

bar table in front room with fully stocked beer fridge
all black and grey
pictures of DJs and music related visuals in black frames on walls
one photo of DCs in frame when very small
only other photo is of H on stag do 25 years ago with mates
‘joey and chandler’ armchair
black leather sofa and big TV
FROSTIES in cupboard
24 cans of tango in kitchen
polyester 90s bedding with black and white zigzags
plans to put a pool table in garage

what have I experienced?

Get him one of those signs that lights up that says sad bastard.

@Resilience have you ever had a 24 year relationship end? Do you think it’s fun for the person abandoned ?

Pathetic midlife crisis basically

Cringe

I think we call it a midlife crisis.

Brilliant !!

@FrogFighter
OP, I'm sorry if you are missing the old "him", but the way you have described the scene it sounds so funny, at least you have kept your sense of humour.

ah bless give him an oasis cd to playin is retro stereo

i would like a lazyboy chair though

Get him a lava lamp! Complete the look. It’s a shame they died out, they’re quite satisfying to look at.

I'm in my early 40s and still enjoy music from my youth. I initiated our divorce and go out pubbing/clubbing at weekends when I don't have my daughter (share custody 50/50). My teen DS also lives with me full time. Nothing wrong with enjoying life post divorce- humans don't shrivel up and die at 35.

He sounds exactly like my 19 year old sons new flatmate . Except he has hair.

I doubt they are divorced yet, he only left 6 weeks ago

Goodness, I have such awful vicarious embarrassment too.

the description of his interior design choices sound extremely divorce-able. I also have some questions…. Does he have an extremely shiny chrome lamp? Is there a black and white rug to match? Is he wearing lynx Africa? Has he acquired a leather jacket? Or one of those ghastly shirts with a contrasting collar?

I am off to ask my husband now how he will decorate if I leave him.

I agree with the other posters - he sounds like he’s having a crisis.

And the poster saying he’ll wind up with an STI 😂
I’d like to add the plot twist: he’ll end up knocking someone up and the bachelor pad will have to go!

Not to everyone's tastes but so what ?

I’m presuming you’re a woman, so what you do after divorce is simply “living your best life”. Go you

its only divorced men that are having midlife crises

“Groovy, man”
😂

Oh dear....can you just imagine the reaction of the poor woman he entices back to his "shag pad". I bet he plays Oasis and tries to convince her that its "A CLASSIC!" and her vagina will clamp shut and off she will go.

Basically he now has the money recreate the place he wanted when he was young and single (and ironically, desperate to get laid then too) but couldnt.

I cant decide whether it is hysterically funny or heartbreakingly sad......

Bet his cupboard is full of pot noodles and crispy Findus pancakes in the freezer.
Get him inebof those bowls with stones and floating candles.

I still do what I enjoyed when I was younger, there is stuff we get into when we are young and it stays with us. But that isnt what he is doing here, he is literally trying to turn back time and live as 25 year old him. Thats what makes this Mid Life Crisis territory, its completely flagging up that he wants to be young again. Well dont we all, but those of us with emotional maturity understand that that cant happen and accept life as it is as we age. If he was going to gigs or clubs or whatever and hanging out with his mates doing what he has always done (as you are) but just more often then that would be "living life" and that is totally different.

Can you still get big mouth billy bass?

Mid life crisis, but when one door closes another one opens. Take advantage of it!

I had the zig zag bedding and matching wallpaper in my bedroom.... 40yrs ago. What a knob.

Love it!! And its actually not a bad call because his reaction to your gift will be very telling! If he goes on about how funny they are and how he always wanted one, then you know for a fact he is living in his own little TARDIS!