What one weird thing has killed a relationship stone dead in an instant for you?

[talkingmongoose]

Just something that told you there was nooooo future?

I was seeing a chap quite some years ago, pre DH. We had been dating about a year, and were getting into bed at his place when I mentioned that I had my period, just in a casual 'so no rumpy-pumpy tonight' kind of way. The issue had never come up before.

He went all pale with disgust, said 'I wish you hadn't told me that', and proceeded to sleep on the floor.

Utter, utter twunt, I never returned his calls after that. Lucky escape.

This thread is hilarious!

garlicbutter, he didn't say that about his own writing did he?! PMSL. And anyway, my NF jacket is pink.... :)

Bucharest - "I tell you reader, even with my ankles pinned behind my ears, I felt nothing."

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Oh by the power of all things Jeff, that is the best line on here! How did I miss that earlier? I have tears rolling down my face.

I think I may love you Buch

I tell you something, my knees have never been the same since.

Really? I thought you'd be a real BuchBendyWendy after that little experience, get it? Little?

Mine was when my live in dp of 3yrs kept going out after work on fridays and not letting me know first so I could go and do something with my friends.
The umpteenth time he called at 10pm off his face.. I waited up.
We had the arguement.
He said

"you dont give me the freedom to be spontaneous"

I kicked him out the following morning.

There you go - freedom, go and be spontaneous!

Best thing I ever did in my life.

Good girl sunshine

I've just remembered (like a Post traumatic flashback) something about my friend Pork Pie woman from paaaaaages back....not only did the bloke manage to come only if eating pork pies on his mother's shagpile in view of the street, but at the moment of expression he used to make her shout out "walnut walnut". Me and my uni friends howled at the sheer randomness going on in the guy's head. I mean, wtf has a walnut got to do with a pork pie? Or anything for that matter. He used to get really arsey if she forgot.
(she was a butcher's daughter which might explain the pies)

I just want to clarify - the 'is it in yet?' lad in my story was not gorgeous. He was nice, but not gorgeous. I feel robbed now, thank you ladies!

Guy I met in Australia. We were friends for ages but one night ended up snogging. Moved into bedroom and as soon as we started having sex he turned into jack rabbit man. My head was banging against the headboard and the wall shook so much that the stereo fell off on top of us. Most uncomfortable sex ever I think!

Argh it's all coming back to me now!

The guy at work who I'd always been on friendly terms with, he was generically good looking but not my normal type, got snogging at a works drinks thing, ended up taking him home. He had drunk, coke dick unfortunately and it was like trying to put toothpaste back into a very dry tube. Horrible. Eventually we gave up and as we were falling asleep he whispered, "Night. Love you".

No.

This is a bit of a sad one. It was just after Owl guy, when I'd met a guy on a work course. First date he took me to see 'Les Mis' followed by an Italian meal. I was very impressed, he was funny, witty, charming, generous and probably the most intelligent guy I've ever met.. The only problem was I just didn't fancy him, as he was only an inch or so taller than me. (I am 5ft 3in) Yes, I know I'm shallow. Anyway, I told him that I'd like us to be friends only, as I was new to London, just out of a long relationship etc. He agreed, said that would be just fine. Met up a few times to go for coffee, visit an art gallery etc, nothing else! A few weeks later, it was Valentine's day. He phoned me and invited me over to his place for spag bol as neither of us had a date. I got there and he presented me with a dozen red roses, then made me an incredible veggie meal, complete with home made kulfi ice-cream and a bottle of Veuve Cliquot. Then he got totally pissed off with me when he jumped me, and I had to reminded him gently that we were just friends. I feel pretty bad about it in hindsight, but I really thought he was fine with just mates! Anyway he went on to be very high up in government and is now stonkingly rich, so I doubt he's that bothered.

Oh and I also want to join the list of people who have slept with tiny dick guy. Mine was a 6ft 6in rugby player. It was like a child's crayon. I mean size isn't everything, but I need something to work with, you know? Poor guy, he thought he was god's gift too!

Madonna - I hate shit sex. Although, it did give me chance to finalise the weekly shop in my head!

I forgot about a guy who after ONE drunken snog at a party went on a mini-stalking bend, turning up at my house with roses on his motorbike after telling me how depressed he was that I was rejecting him. I was 15 and he was 18 - but I knew he was a bloody crazy.

Eventually after years of hiding everytime I saw him I got an email from him. He's joined a dating site and wanted a 'reference' from his ex-girl/boyfriends!

I was not his bloody girlfriend, ever!

I have just realised that I have had a grand total of 3 not crazy guys in my life. At least I married one of the not-crazy ones!

that I'm in the Lazarusb camp!

Oh, except mine wasn't even nice.

Another little-dick guy here. He wasn't gorgeous either. Can I ask, other little-dick people, did they have equally dinky balls? Mine did, they were like grapes!

I'm going to start a thread for ladies who have suffered a shit shag at the hands of a tiny cock

I have thought of something but it was something I said that killed our relationship and that isn't the point of the threads. Plus mine is boring and stupid.

My tiny cock one even said that it was 'nice' at the end. No it wasn't! It was 15 drunken, slutty minutes I will never get back!

I can't remember if my little dick even had balls.
He was circumcised though. Talk about finger food.

Oh, my tiny dick boy was totally beautiful. I'd met him at a party, snogged the face off him, we were both plastered. Had a couple of dates where, well he wasn't so talkative. Painfully shy. Had never been out with anyone for more than 3 weeks. He was 25.
Anyway we went to a party in Bath at one of his mates houses. Turned out I knew the mate, (used to work with him) got on like a house on fire with the friend. Chatting with beautiful man was a trial so I got drunk, got very horny and shagged him in a double sleeping bag. So disappointing. Didn't feel a thing.
We drove back to London the next afternoon, stopped at his house on the way back (he lived in Herts) and he'd had such a good time the night before that he was up for another shag , and I let him because I couldn't articulate how bad it was.
I mean, can you say to someone: "Its tiny!" I dont think so...

I had one more date with him, then met someone else who I could have a laugh with and who was much more talkative and entertaining.

Poor little dick boy is now a multimillionaire. Ah well....

Ewww, having horrible flashback to my early twenties, had succesfully suppressed this for years until reading this thread.
I met a man in a nightclub and brought him back to my houseshare (mmm, wasn't I classy liberated?). He was very good looking and I have to say I was feeling quite pleased with myself at the time. We started snogging and I felt him remove my rather lovely sparkly flip-flop and massage my foot. He started to move southwards and I thought I was in for some hot oral sex. Then I felt him bring the soles of my feet together around something, and ewww, he was rubbing his willy between my feet.

I have never wore flip flops again to a nightclub, for fear of pulling more weirdos. I urge mums everywhere to beware of beach footwear.

Bucharest - you and I are soul mates, I'm tellin' ya!

Finger food, rofl oh my days!

Sorry socialhandgrenade - this thread's OP should be altered to contain a warning!

Been on a couple of dates with a nice, amusing, cute guy. Ended up staying the night at his place and having sex. He insisted on me being on top. No other position was encouraged at all. Fair enough, no big deal.

Next morning he went off to work and as I started work later than him he said it was ok for me to leave later, just close the front door firmly on leaving. As I decided to have a bit of a tidy up with half an hour to spare I bent down by the side of the bed to remove the ash tray (long time ago!) and I noticed piles of mags under his bed. Of course I pulled out a couple, then a handful, then more and more ... there must have been 50 at least AND they were all 'Chicks with Dicks' porno. Every single last one of them.

Never saw him again.